Guilty Feet

      It was meant to be a day of celebration. It was all the day had asked of me. To put on a smile and be happy for the couple that was about to commit their lives to one another. I knew it was all that was expected of me yet I couldn’t. I couldn’t be happy for them after doing what I did. It’s burned into my memory every detail and now it’s expected of me to forget it and go on like this day is a fairytale. It most certainly wasn’t and most guests in attendance knew it but ignored it. I was instructed that if I knew what was best for me that I would ignore it as well.

      So I did. I pretend that I knew nothing, had done nothing and no one would know the wiser. It was a secret I was prepared to take with me to my grave. No one could know that the night started and ended with Tommie, the best man. He was a well know columnist in his professional life. He tends to look for a story everywhere he goes. It was exciting at first when I met him in a well-known coffee shop. He couldn’t stop talking about the dangers of one thing or another and the gossip that traveled the neighborhood. After a while, it wasn’t so charming. I couldn’t even tell him about my dry cleaners without him having a story to report. This is why it baffles me even more how I let Tommie get me out of my hotel room last night.

      He knocked endlessly, to begin with. After the third ignored knock, I was sure he would go back to whatever story he came for. Yet his knocking was continuous. After the eighth knock, I answered and he stood before me in full formal entire, suspenders included. He stood with a drink in his hand, by the smell of his exhale it was bourbon and it explained for his tireless effort. I could tell by the look on his face that expected something from me and I also knew that once he had bourbon in his system it was hard to grasp what that something could be.

      “Get your coat.” He pointed behind me. He wanted me to go somewhere with him and I had every good thought to deny him.

      “Go back to your room and pass out like any other night Tommie.” I said preparing to close the door in his face.

      “The night before a wedding? Do you know the secrets that are combing these halls?” He said placing his hand against my door.

      “And what? We’re going to find them?” I asked looking at his serious glance.

      “A writer and a detective. The best team you ever did see.” He said, his expression slowly changing to a grin. “Besides if you don’t help me, I’ll tell the groomsmen what I heard playing through your wall last night.” He made a crude gesture and I knew he had me dead to rights. I grabbed my coat and joined him but made sure to slap the drink out of his hand for good measure.

      “If you’re going to blackmail, do it sober. “ I said leading the way down the hall. He followed his frustration was clear as day but I could care less. I had to get him off my radar so I did what any detective would do. I fed him something that would make him leave me alone.

      I tend to go unnoticed at big things such as this. Especially just being the cousin of the groom I wasn’t even asked to be a bridesmaid. It didn’t mean that I didn’t know the secrets they whispered about at parties and private fittings. I always have an inside man, and I figured if I take him to her he would leave me alone. I knocked on her door and on the second knock she answered. She was happy to see me but her smile faded when she realized that I wasn’t alone.

      “You’re friends with Jabber Jaw now?” She kept her eye contact with me not acknowledging his presence.

      “No. He won’t leave me to my peace. He wants a story. Also, he’s drunk so good chance he won’t remember what you tell him.” I folded my arms across my chest and winked at her.

      “Hey! I’m standing right here.” He said moving closer to be included.

      “Yeah, and your breath is making that evident.” I said moving away from him to avoid any close contact.

      “I got something. Molly, bridesmaid number 4 is about to bowl a strike.” She smiled at me as if I was the slightest bit intrigued.

      “A strike?” He asked.

      “How many groomsmen are there Tommie?” I looked at him hoping he would put the pieces together faster so I could go back to relaxing.

      “Oh really? Well, who did she start with?” He asked and she gave me a nod and closed the door in both of our faces. I began to walk away only to find him continuing to follow me, I stopped hoping that he would keep walking.

      “What are you doing? You got your story.” I looked at him.

      “That? It would be a story if Molly hadn’t slept with any of the groomsmen.” He said wanting a high five for his comment, instead, I rolled my eyes preparing to walk away from him once more. Until we both heard a crash from the supply closet a few feet ahead of us. Tommie ran to the door. I was unable to stop him. I was happy that something else finally had his attention. I continued to walk to my room and before I made it past him, he pulled me along the wall with him.

      “Look! I need a witness or it didn’t happen, you know that.” He said gesturing to my persona.

      “That’s not true.” I said pointing flaws in his plan by referencing crimes like murder and robbery.

      “Just look! Please “ Anything to get him to stop talking at me.

      I glided past him to peek my head in the small window of the closet door and quickly pulled back at what I’d seen. I shook my head in disappointment and I pulled from his grasp and kept walking to my room. I didn’t turn back at his call of my name. I just kept moving. I walked as fast as I could to my room and locked myself inside for the rest of the night. Even though I was alone in my room I knew that it would be difficult not to tell anyone. I took comfort in knowing I wasn’t the only one who knew. I feared what Tommie would do with the information.

      That brought me here. Waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle knowing what I know. I had some faith since the wedding hadn’t been called off. I hoped that Tommie was as shocked as I was and decided not to do anything either. A part of me thought that was worse than screaming it to the rooftops. I thought at least the other party involved should know. It was eating me alive not to know. As she walked down the aisle and as they shared their vows, I remained silent. Throughout the ceremony I was silent. I could have interjected, they gave us enough time to, yet I said nothing. I followed to the reception, watched as they dances and people closer gave speeches. I watched from the sidelines as I had done so many times before. I portrayed happiness in family pictures but the images from that closet played over in my head.

      He must have seen me. He pulled me onto the dance floor with the crowd of other people. In his luck, I was shocked and unnoticing. That is the only instance I would dance with him let alone to a slow song.

      “Don’t be so obvious.” Tommie said as we danced close.

      “I can barely look at him.” I said avoiding the glance of my cousin.

      “Why? It wasn’t him in the closet.” He whispered in a low voice.

      “No, just his mother with the bride.” I buried my head into his shoulder. I could feel the awkwardness of his embrace yet I remained buried. The guilt consumed me and I whispered in his ear “I’m never going out with you again.”