Purple Rain

She was late. Fifteen minutes and counting.

Jules looked up to the sky to find it a milky grey. The clouds swarmed, chasing each other in a self-destructive spiral. Any minute now and they were going to burst.

He took out his phone again to check the time. Yeah, Tia was still late, now sixteen minutes and counting. At this rate they would miss the opening credits.

His thumbs drifted over his contacts until he found her photo. He smiled; it was a snapshot of them at Disney World. She had insisted on him wearing that stupid Mickey Mouse hat while they were there. She wore Minnie Mouse, obnoxious bow and all. They’d only been dating a few months back then, and he didn’t know how to say no to her. He hated it at the time but looking back at it still brought a smile to his face. How long ago was that now, three years, maybe four? They were long overdue a getaway.

He was just about to call when he saw her round the corner up the street. Immediately, he knew something was wrong. Her gaze was hard set on the concrete in front of her and she pushed past the pedestrians going the other way. She hugged her thin cardigan close to her body, fists clenching tight around the hem. She only looked up when she was mere metres away.

At first, she tried to smile. “Hi.” Came her meagre greeting.

Jules’s brow clenched. Her forced smile started to waver under the heat of his stare. The question was on the tip of his tongue but he held off from asking straight out. Even after all this time, she still didn’t like it when he probed too far into her problems. And he knew there was only one thing that could get her riled up like this. One person, more like.

But he needed to play it cool, or things would get too heated too fast. “Usually, you’re the one waiting on me.” He joked.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just had something to do at home.”

“Something wrong?”

She scowled at him. “I really don’t want to talk about it, let’s just have a good time tonight.”

Jules tried a different tactic. “Hey, it’s me.” His voice was soft, like he was talking to an injured kitten that was ready to hiss in his face if he got too close. “Tell me honestly, was it him?” He already knew the answer.

Tia broke. “Every time, Jules. Every time. It’s the same thing. He screws up and somehow everyone else gets punished for it. I just can’t deal with it anymore.”

Something snapped and now she was completely loose. Her face was flushed as Jules pressed her to his chest, stroking her back soothingly. She leant all her weight on him, her arms dangling uselessly by her sides but Jules was fine with it. He soaked up all her frustration like a sponge. She wasn’t crying, yet. She never cried in public as a rule and wasn’t about to break it now. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, grasping at her frayed emotions.

“Just breathe, in and out.” Jules said to her. “Let’s skip the movie. You need a drink.”

“No. We’ve been waiting ages to see this.”

“We’ll come back another time.”

He dragged her all the way to the pub, never letting go of her hand as her feet shuffled along the pavement. At the pub he sat her down without a word. Their table was slightly sticky – typical for this place – but the thought barely registered as he went to get their drinks. He knew her favourite, Purple Rain. She loved the colour more than anything, and the song. Maybe he could ask one of the bartenders to play it now, that would probably put a smile on Tia’s face.

He placed the glass in front of her, but she didn’t take a sip. She just watched the inky liquid as it blurred into blue, sweltering around the ice that was caught in the middle of the kaleidoscopic display.

“So,” Jules sat back with a pint of Guinness. “What happened.”

Tia breathed. Her darted back and forth, marking the beginning, middle and end of her story – it made it easier to talk when you already had your story straight.  Jules waited for her to start.

“So, you know we were planning that family trip – Mum, Nick and Me – for the summer.”

“Sure, to Barbados.”

She had barely shut up about it for the past couple months. It was going to be the first time the family got together in a long time. Almost three years, and Tia had gone all out. New bikini, new beach towel, new clothes, months of accumulating songs for the perfect ocean-themed playlist...no expense had been spared.

“Well, it’s not happening.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” Tia gripped her glass so tight Jules was scared she would break it. The condensation slipped against her fingers and her nails hit the glass with a muted clink. The ice cubes jittered at her intensity.

“Everything was going fine. Mum had already put the deposit down for the beach house – it was the loveliest beach house too; sea turtles were sited there and everything – and then Nick called.”

Jules blanched. “Oh, no.” He already knew what was coming.

“You know he likes to fuck off sometimes and go to...god knows where, without telling a soul so he can find himself as he likes to put it. So, we get this phone call from him at three in the morning. Apparently, he jumped the barrier at St Pancras trying to get on the Eurostar.”

Jules took a steady gulp from his pint. “Ok, that’s not so bad. I mean, it could be worse. You get fined but that’s all, right?”

Tia’s grave look did not wash away. “It would have been alright if that was all. But when they tried to restrain him, he punched one of the security guards.”

Jules’s lips thinned around the rim of his glass. Yeah, that was much worse.

“Long story short, Nick is facing charges for assaulting an officer, and mum and I had to fork out thousands of pounds just to bail him out.”

“Shit. That much?” Jules whistled low before bringing his glass up for another sip, only to find it empty. He gave Tia an apologetic look before darting for the bar again. He could tell that they were both going to need a couple more rounds in them before the night was through.

“Anyway, that’s the holiday money gone.” She snapped her fingers, the pop of air somehow thunderous.

As the night dragged on, the crowds grew. The dim pub lighting surrounded Jules and Tia in an orange glow, separating them from the crowd.

“I’m so sorry, Tia.” He reached for her hand, only to find it trembling. “I know you really wanted this.”

She breathed out a sigh. It fogged against the side of her cocktail glass, clouding over the inky beverage. For moment, Jules was reminded of the weather outside.

“Last year it was his crazy hemp-hoodie business scheme that mum ended up paying for, and before that it was backpacking through Andes, and before that...god, how many before that’s are there?” She threw her hands over her face. She took comfort in how cold they were from clutching her glass. It soothed the migraine that was punching her skull. “It’s always the same, Jules. Every single time! We’re always cleaning up his messes! And mum...well, she doesn’t know what to do. She just sits there and lets it happen, hoping one day he’ll feel guilty enough to change. But it’ll never happen, people like him don’t change. They don’t see those they hurt, they just...”

Jules saw it happen before the first tear fell. Her eye glistened with a salty film, building up untilt eh dam final broke. Without a word, he handed her a napkin.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

“So don’t.”

Tia looked up. She’d rubbed her eyes raw, mascara smudging over the angry inflammation that come with crying. “What?”

“I said, don’t. Don’t do it anymore. Stop babysitting him. Nick’s a grown man for Christ’s sake.”

She gripped the napkin tight, the damp tissue tearing apart in her hands. “How long have you wanted to say that?”

“Dunno. A while, I guess.”

This wasn’t the first time he’d seen her in tears over Nick. And every time it ended the same, with Tia resolving to put it out of her mind so she can go on believing she has the perfect family. She has always been so desperate for that, the image more than the actual thing – a family who all live together in a happy little bubble, until Nick comes along to pop it all over again.

Tia shook her head, her bangs swaying furiously from side to side. “No, he’s a pain. But he’s family. Family looks out for each other no matter what.” That’s what she always said. No matter what. What dangerous words said by someone so well-meaning.  

“Not like this, Tia. This is crazy. What brother would make their sister cry like this and not even care? Tia...I hate seeing you like this.”

“What am I supposed to do, forget he exists? He’s my brother. That means something.”

“I’m not saying you need to cut him out entirely, but you need a break. You need to stop being at his beck and call all the time. You need him to know that too. You need him to know that he’s hurting you.”

Jules didn’t have siblings. But if he did, he liked to think that they’d be better than Nick. And if they weren’t, he’d have the good sense not to let them walk all over him. Not that Tia was stupid, she just didn’t know when enough was enough.

Even now she was hesitant. She pulled her hand from his and placed it on her lap, out of his reach. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on it until it was red with the stimulation.

“Let’s get away.” He said suddenly. The thought had barely crossed his mind before it was verbalised. “Maybe not as far as Barbados, but we could do something special. Get away from it all. Drive up to Scotland, go to a bed and breakfast, somewhere in the middle of nowhere.” Tia didn’t respond, her eyes downcast and focused somewhere beyond the sticky pub table. “Just forget about everything. You brother, your mum, all of it. Just for a few days. I wont even mention it while we’re there. No mention of cutting him out, no mention of family at all. It’ll just be you and me.”

Tia still struggled through the tears, her voice was raspy from gasping. “Ok,” She wheezed. “Yes, Ok. That sounds nice.” She said with more confidence.

“We can start looking for places to stay as soon as we get home.”

Finally, a smile. “Maybe a nice cottage, or a farmhouse, close to a loch.”

Jules’s laughter came out in gasps “Sure, sure.” He was just happy to see her excited again.

After another round they stumbled out into the night air. The rain fell softly like an ocean spray and covered the entire road in a thin mist. The darkness painted the wet ground inky blue, just like that damned cocktail, Purple Rain. It looked fresh, was Jules’s first thought. Like a cleansing had taken place here.

“You’re right you know.” Tia said to him as they walked. “About what I need to do with my brother.”

Jules made no remark. It wouldn’t do any good to reply anyway. It was something she needed to figure out for herself.

“I know you’re right,” She continued. “But I’m just not quite there yet.” She slipped her hand in his, letting the gentle mist whisk through their entwined fingers. “Thanks for trying though. I needed to hear that.”

He squeezed her hand tight, his mind already swimming with images of silent cottages in the middle of nowhere.