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Contemporary Friendship Happy

Before World War II, life was relatively simple for Lorraine. As a woman, she was expected to find a man who could keep her to a standard deemed appropriate by her parents. The ‘happy couple’ would marry and, due to limited available contraception, almost immediately start a family. It was rare for women to still work after marriage. Instead, now that she was married, her full-time job was as a housekeeper, a wife, and, in a reasonably short time, a mother.

Feeling that she understood her new role in life, she was surprised that everything completely changed in under two years at the age of twenty-six. Unexpectedly, she sat alone on a folding metal chair in a dark, unpopulated corridor. At her feet was her packed hand luggage, which she constantly fussed over. Gripped tightly in her hands were her travel documents and passport. Her heart thumped as she sat alone, about to embark on a journey far beyond her wildest imagination. 

The aerodrome buildings were simple, prefabricated structures made of corrugated metal sheets, and the interiors had a bare, utilitarian appearance. The floor was dark brown linoleum, and despite its glowing shine, it did little to make the environs look welcoming and warm. The whole area was sparsely populated, and Lorraine, a shy woman, felt isolated while waiting for her flight.

The scant refreshment facilities were only open for business transactions for limited periods as there were so few customers. Her travel money was limited. After the war, her home country was not flush with cash to spend on fripperies such as coffee and tea, even though the tea cost less than 1p.

Travelling was a rarity for someone like Lorraine, especially by plane. In those days, it seemed only high-status business people and Hollywood movie stars were likely to travel by air, or more commonly, military troops being deployed to various outposts. Lorraine was about to embark on a journey to Africa to reunite with her husband, who had been posted five months earlier to Kaduna, Northern Nigeria, by his Army Regiment.

During the outboard ‘posting’, the soldier and his wife always travelled separately. They were assured that this would enable the husband to find suitable accommodation for himself and his wife. However, in all probability, the separate travelling was designed so that the soldier could settle in as quickly as possible and become a valuable regiment member without being impeded by his needy wife, who was often at a complete loss when first arriving at a foreign posting. So, at the end of her lonely five months, she was transported by the army to join her husband, Bob.

**********

Having only been married to Bob for over a year, she was genuinely shocked when he told her he had been picked to travel to Kaduna, Nigeria. It was naturally assumed Lorraine would join him - where else would she live? The furnished flat they had been issued belonged to the army, and without her soldier husband, this was not Lorraine’s home.  

When he’d come home that evening to tell her the news of his new posting, she almost felt a panic attack stirring within. She looked at Bob’s kind, handsome but anxious face and knew instantly she would support him. Frankly, if her country had not recently been at war, it would have been unlikely she would have been so willing to go without a massive amount of cajoling. But with so many men, women and children dead or injured during the fight for freedom, it would have shocked both of them if she’d refused to go.  

*********

Bob had been imprisoned in Japan for two years during the recent war. During this period, his health had been badly affected, and he had only recently regained his strength and energy to be allowed back into the Army. Despite the horrors of the war and being a prisoner in Asia, getting back into the Army was considered a life of luxury in post-war UK. The Army had excellent doctors and modern hospitals - all offered free as the health of its soldiers was considered paramount to the Army. The army supplied modern, clean accommodation, and its military personnel were trained and educated in various fields and occupations. The lucky ones were often sent abroad accompanied by their wives and children. The average Joe of their class and background did not travel abroad on an aeroplane in those early days after the war.

************************

Lorraine felt excited and nervous as the plane taxied down the runway. She couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation at the unknown adventure awaiting her in Nigeria. Still, she was determined to embrace this new experience, step outside her familiar world's confines and explore the possibilities that lay beyond.

The journey, lasting three days, was long and arduous, with layovers in unfamiliar places and uncomfortable seating and conditions onboard. The planes flew low, did not have pressurised cabins, and were often prey to turbulence as they hit tropical storms. The engines were loud, and Lorraine’s ears painfully buzzed by the end of a full day suspended in the clouds. Conversations with the few fellow passengers on board were difficult due to the continual roar of the plane’s machinery. Moving around in the cabin was not encouraged. Conversations could only occur once they landed in one of the en-route rudimentary aerodromes with hostel rooms for the overnight stay. Friendships were made over the long refectory tables while a simple evening meal was delivered to them. Most of the people she had met were stopping at Lagos, the capital city, but she would continue her journey alone to Kaduna. Looking out the plane’s window, she marvelled at the sights and excitedly imagined the longed-for reunion with her husband.

When she finally set foot on the tarmac in Kaduna, the sun's warmth was on her face, and she sighed with relief. She had made it; she had crossed oceans and continents, stepping into a world entirely different from hers.

*************

“Lorraine!” he screamed excitedly as he broke into a run. She whirled around, trying to hang on to her hat and matching handbag, as he flung his arms around her. Could it be six months since they last saw each other? She melted into his arms as the awful loneliness disappeared in the ethos.

As they arrived outside their new Kaduna home, an army Land Rover appeared in the house compound loaded with all of Lorraine’s luggage. A Nigerian army soldier jumped out and saluted Bob. Bob saluted the soldier and introduced him to his wife. Bob looked to see how easily his wife would deal with the local staff. She immediately took the young soldier’s hand and said, “What a pleasure to meet you. I am impressed with how quickly my luggage has arrived. Thank you for being so helpful.’ The young soldier squirmed with pleasure.

Bob had watched some of the other soldiers’ wives arriving in the previous weeks, and their behaviour had been nowhere near as pleasant as his wife’s. He felt a surge of pride and joy at her arrival in Kaduna.  

In the UK, having luggage driven to your home was almost unheard of then. Many of the wives arriving were surprised at how well the Kaduna soldiers treated them, but some let bad manners and ignorance present a poor picture of the new arrival.

****************

“We will meet your fellow ex-pats at Marianne and Jem’s, who have set up a small buffet evening. It will be good for you to meet your neighbours as soon as possible so they can show you around. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.”

“Who are Marianne and Jem?” she asked.

“Oh, this is the chaplain and his wife. They usually set up the first social evening for the newcomers. Nice people.”

Tired and trying to calm her stress levels, Lorraine didn’t feel like an evening with the chaplain and his wife. Frankly, she had already decided that she would hate it.

“Smile, Lorraine”, said Bob.

She felt grumpy — Bob should have known not to organise a social event for her on her first night — but she smiled.

**********

Arriving at Jem and Marianne’s house, she was warmly welcomed by the two of them. She felt warmth and good humour during the many introductions. Jem ensured the men were being well looked after, and Marianne played the role of host to perfection. By the end of the evening, Lorraine was shocked that she hadn’t wanted to come - she had so enjoyed herself.  

Most of the wives she met were married to soldiers in the ranks below Bob’s. They were all shyly charming and friendly. Towards the end of the evening, Lorraine was handed back to Marianne, who, encircling her tiny waist, led her to the door. Bob appeared, and Lorraine was handed over to his care. As they shook hands, she was surprised to see Bob bend over Marianne’s cheek, kiss it and say, “Thank you so much”. At home in the UK, they didn’t kiss anyone unless it was parents - but here were displays of friendship that made her feel as if she’d been here for years instead of a few hours.

“We’ll go shopping tomorrow, Lorraine, if you like?” shouted Marianne. Lorraine nodded.

************

Marianne and Lorraine walked up Bank Road to the Kingsway, a sizeable white-painted department store selling European goods to ex-pats. On the top of the store’s roof was a water tower, and Marianne pointed to two enormous vultures perched on the tower, preening themselves.

“Ooooh, are they safe?” asked Lorraine, terrified.

“They’re only interested in you if you’re dead”, said Marianne, laughing.

The two women entered the cool, concrete building to escape the increasingly hot sun of the Nigerian morning. They eventually sat in the Kingsway cafe, having a mid-morning cup of instant coffee mixed with sterilised milk.

An instant friendship began to blossom, and Lorraine had difficulty remembering that she hadn’t wanted to meet Marianne or her husband the night before.

****************

Over the next three years, Lorraine's life journey in Nigeria was filled with adventure and discovery. She made friends, explored the vibrant culture, and thoroughly enjoyed herself. She even had the opportunity to meet Queen Elizabeth II during the Head of State’s highly successful Commonwealth visit to the country in 1956. To have some connection with home whilst living abroad meant so much to the military and their families. Hence, all the dusty roadsides along the Queen’s route were packed shoulder to shoulder with UK military personnel and their excited families so that each could say they had personally waved to the Queen.

During the Queen’s visit, The Kaduna Durbar was also held. This grand cultural event celebrated the tradition and heritage of the Hausa people. The Durbar was a traditional festival that involved colourful displays of horsemanship, music, dance, and pageantry.

That February of 1956 was when Lorraine thought she would burst with joy. She had a happy marriage, numerous extraordinary friendships with positive, charming ex-pats, a visit from the Queen and her husband, the spectacle of the fantastic Durbar, and she was expecting her second child. She had difficulties remembering what life was like in the UK. At that time, if she’d been told she must stay in Nigeria for the rest of her life, she’d have happily done so.  

Lorraine and Bob had developed a hectic but highly fulfilling social life. The army worked hard to unite families and foster a sense of community spirit, and Lorraine embraced all offerings.  Life in Nigeria bore a scant resemblance to life in the UK. Even if the UK had offered all the social events available in Kaduna, the average household couldn’t have afforded to attend. Providing enough food, heating, and clean running water took most of the one breadwinner’s paycheck. In the UK, houses were small, cramped and often damp. Until the extensive rebuilding programmes after the war took place, many homes did not have indoor plumbing - baths were taken in large tin containers sitting in the kitchen, and toilets, often used by more than one family, were frequently outside in a public yard.

When first arriving, Lorraine had to learn to fit in and not show surprise that within the large bungalow (her new home), there were usually two indoor toilets, separate bathrooms, various utility, laundry and ironing rooms, and the sizeable well-appointed living rooms. Each household was supplied with staff who were responsible for household tasks.  It was as if she had come out of a slum and now lived as a rich film star. Seeing how each expat household dealt with the phenomenal changes was interesting. Lorraine and Bob chose to observe Marianne and Jem and, through them, learnt to be charming, positive, and generous people. 

Lorraine’s first love was the Officers' Mess, a hub for social activities within the military community. It hosted formal dinners, parties, and other events where families could socialise with other military personnel and their families. Lorraine, Bob, and many friends loved their evenings at the Mess. Lorraine lashed out for the significant formal dinners and had a glorious evening dress made by the local tailor, a frothy silk and net concoction with a sequinned bodice. Goodness, it made her look stunning! Bob, dressed in a white dinner jacket, black tie, and shiny black patent shoes, resembled an early version of James Bond.  

“Lorraine, I think we must surely be the best-looking people attending the dinner tonight,” he said, laughing and swirling her around the bedroom as they dressed to go out. Lorraine agreed with him. Surely, Bob was the most handsome man in all Kaduna.

The Mess was splendidly decorated, the food beautifully presented, and the military band enthusiastically played the day's popular music. Marianne and the others' feet tapped the beat, and as they got up to dance, their smiles, dresses and jewellery sparkled and shone.

If not at the Mess, the Sports Club was a short walk along Bank Road, where their bungalows were. Outside were the swimming pools, tennis courts, cricket and football pitches; indoors were the refreshment facilities and cooling areas. Other facilities offered were the bridge club, reading groups, cooking and sewing clubs, and a place to hold children’s birthday parties. The drive-in cinema also provided a family night out.

Houses were large and spacious, well supplied with home help. Gardens or compounds were extensive and carefully tended, so families regularly gathered in the evenings or afternoons and held impromptu parties and evening meals.

It was a time of personal growth and exploration, a chapter in her life she would never forget.

***************

The two lived in Kaduna for three years and thoroughly enjoyed themselves, making many friends during their time abroad. During their time away, they had two children - both girls, who had one and a half years between them.  

At night, they would often pop to Marianne and Jem’s, drinking their coffees on the veranda. Here, relaxing, they would listen to the World Service on the Radio and discuss the luck of being the chosen ones to partake in an overseas post, as frankly, things didn’t sound too good on the domestic front. The UK struggled to get back on its feet after the war, and generally, conditions sounded much more basic than life abroad. They knew their posting would end soon, and neither looked forward to that long flight home.  

Nigeria had begun negotiating for independence in the late 1940s and early 1950s. The push for self-government gained momentum following World War II, fuelled by nationalist movements and demands for decolonisation across Africa.  It became time for the little family to return to the UK.

**********

When the time arrived, Lorraine and Bob packed their many souvenirs of life in Nigeria and headed for the local airport, where they would make the long, bumpy, difficult journey home.  

Marianne and Jem, as active Army Chaplains, would be among the last to go. They were to be available for the soldiers left in Kaduna who would leave immediately following Independence Day.

Marianne clasped her good friend Lorraine and reminded her.  

“Keep positive, Lorraine, no matter how difficult this next posting will be. Take all this joy back home with you and love life - until the next adventure.”

Lorraine boarded the homeward plane with newfound confidence and a strong sense of independence. Although the inboard and outboard journeys were challenging, her life in Nigeria had opened her eyes to a world of possibilities beyond the confines of her former life.

As the plane soared through the clouds, Lorraine looked out the window with a smile, ready to embrace whatever new adventures lay ahead. Flying to Nigeria in 1954 had been just the beginning of her journey of personal exploration, a journey that would continue to shape her life in ways she had never imagined.

*************

Overall, flying from the UK to Nigeria in 1954 was indeed possible. Although a woman’s role in those days was far more limited and controlled by the male of the species, it was taken for granted that women like Lorraine could easily make these complex journeys without special needs or behaviour. Wherever the husband was ‘posted’, the wife and the children were expected to follow and, regardless of the circumstances, show their ability to endure, support, and help the breadwinner.  

April 26, 2024 15:32

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14 comments

Graham Kinross
23:56 May 06, 2024

Sweet story Stevie. I had a great grandmother in Hong Kong who came back during WW2. The ties of family that stretch across the world are fascinating.

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Jenny Cook
00:07 May 04, 2024

I was captivated by your story because my parents(My father was in the British army) lived in India during WW2 and my brother was born there. Your story was a window into the lives they would have lived back then. I would love to read more about how the family adapted to life back in England.

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Stevie Burges
01:03 May 04, 2024

Thanks so much Jenny. If there is an appropriate prompt I will write and let you know how the family adapted back home. Some of the story is complete fantasy (but based on facts) so clearly how the family adapted will all be in my head.

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Kristi Gott
06:53 May 01, 2024

Extremely interesting with in-depth details, lifestyle information, and immersive description of the experiences. Such a contrast to women's roles and opportunities today. I enjoyed reading this well crafted and researched story very much. Skillfully told!

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Stevie Burges
08:51 May 01, 2024

Kristi What lovely comments. Thank you so much. So far this story has done better than any other story I have written - so I must be improving! Thanks for being one of the writers who keeps me motivated and continually trying to achieve.

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Yuliya Borodina
10:52 Apr 29, 2024

I liked the historical background of the story! Very well done!

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Stevie Burges
12:06 Apr 29, 2024

Thanks so much Yuliya. I must admit I did work hard on the research.

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Yuliya Borodina
13:39 Apr 29, 2024

It shows :)

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Trudy Jas
23:11 Apr 26, 2024

Quite reminiscent of what my parents told me of their life in Indonesia - pre WWII. Great story.

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Stevie Burges
09:25 Apr 28, 2024

thanks so much for reading trudy. I'm sure many expats have very similar stories to this one.

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Mary Bendickson
17:30 Apr 26, 2024

Very informative look at what life was like back when. Good job.

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Stevie Burges
08:41 Apr 28, 2024

Yes it is amazing how life has changed. I honestly don't think I could have done it - and look how much I would have missed! Thanks for reading.

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Alexis Araneta
17:30 Apr 26, 2024

This was such a wonderfully detailed story of an unexpected move. Lovely use of imagery. Splendid work ! Also, language-learner side note: My brain had to sort of detach itself from its francophone side when I saw the word "fripperies". In French, a fripperie is a charity shop. Hahahaha !

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Stevie Burges
08:39 Apr 28, 2024

Thanks so much Stella. Comments gratefully received. Thanks for pointing out my spelling error. I just never thought to check fripperies - I felt so certain I knew how to spell it. Many thanks.

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