A rainy Summer

I put my signature with the pen which symbols our love thirty-year on the marriage paper, and now on the piece of paper which end it. I threw the pen in the basket and walked out. My last tie to this man, which I once loved which turn to hatred for three years. I am a free woman, looking for a new start in my sixties. Little I knew.. what happens on forthcoming raining hot days

Day 1^s

I was sitting on my sofa, watching “ Train to Busan. My eyes actually following the jerk around, minding he does not pack anything extra in his luggage. No No, I am not speaking to him or argue as we are stranger now. It was 1.30 pm when there is a knock at the door, and there are two officers in front of the door. They are in PPE suits and wearing masks. I opened the door, and shocked to see the glass panel is put in front of us. They are holding a piece of paper and read to me and him who is approaching the door. “ Mdm Tan , ICno….and Mr Jospeh , IC No…… Both of u are to stay at this address as you have met Mrs Esther Yeo, your lawyer who is confirmed having virus A. We will be checking on you and food will be sent to you every meal. Every communication can be done by an assigned officer, Roy ,ID ……, you will receive on phone text.. and they then left. From our door, we can see two guards are at the staircase.

Day 2

I was awakened by loud voices exchange between my ex-husband, Joseph and a full dress PPE officer at the doorway. It seems that He trying to sneak out and insist that he is leaving here for good. When the door close on him, I could see his pathetic face hanging down and walk toward the Kitchen. It seems like only yesterday, the two young couple walks into this house thirty years ago… “ Jess, you can bring the baby to stay with your mum for a week”. I remember what he says then. I remember how proud I was of this house then. We have worked and save for many years. He is doing overtime and overtime while I was pregnant. There are nights, he will bring home two bottles of milk to satisfy my craving. I knew he walks miles to get them. I remember how determined I am to stay put, which he painted the house by himself. The sound of my handphone brought back to the present when I heard my daughter talking in the background.” Mum, tell him that he is not supposed to leave for another 14 days. I shoved the phone into his hand and went up to my bedroom. When I went to pick up my handphone on the table. I passed by the room and it is quiet. There is my portion of food on the table, and there are some necessities which send my daughter. Rest of day, I hid in my own bed and watch however news on television and turning to k-drama to occupied the night.

Day 3 and Day 4

It is another 10 days out of quarantine. The situation outside is very bad. No of infected has increased in the community. There are talks of lockdown. Our condo unit has been lockdown as a cluster is formed by another case, and there is two death. Fears start to creep into my mind when officer check on my health every few hours. I begin to feel I am running a fever, my chest seems to hurt. We start to talk when I went to get him to take his hot dinner reluctantly. Well! I need to talk to someone about the situation now. Friends still call but they don’t seem to know what is happening. The only neighbour, Robert call me but it seems he is alone with the baby. “ You call her,” I asked. He was silent for a minute and answer awkwardly “ Yes, She is stuck at home too” My anxiety on current situation has overlooked the pains and hurt that both of them has caused me. I didn’t have the thought of puking over remembering how I caught him and his mistress on the bed in this house.  I took my dinner and went back to the bedroom.

Day 5 and Day 6

The days are long and dulls. The officer, Roy just called to check on how we are getting on. He tried to cheer us and assured us that we will be safe and out soon. I can hear Joseph asking him to contact her. It is none of my business. I try to keep myself busy. I start to clean my bedroom. I was clearing the drawers when I came across many old albums. Digital albums have made us lost our habit of filing memories. I refuse to look at our wedding photo which I plan to throw away. I indulge in the photographs of my daughter transition from baby to adult. There are many photographs of him with her. He is a lovely father always. He will get up and send her to school but how he can hurt her now. T

At that moment, the volume of Television increased and caught my attention. It is the report of the death of Mrs Esther Yeo, the divorced lawyer. I can see Joseph clutching his chest and lean on chair. His eye-rolling up and pointing to his medicine when I rushed to him. I quickly grab the medicine and threw into his mouth, followed by the a glass of water. I grab my handphone panic and call my daughter. I was talking to her, when he clutches my hand to signal he is ok, and assured her that he is fine and don’t need to see the doctor. “ You should see the doctor, he can get you out to hospital’ I said. He didn’t answer. I walked him to the sofa and turn off the television. ‘ I will be in the room, you call me if you need me’ 

When I was in the room, I am thinking about Esther and her death. She is Joseph friend for many years and I thought she is mine until his affair was disclosed. I remember the very words she says to me “ It is over between you and him. It is over. Let him be with her. I support him” From that day, I was excluded from the group of friends. Tonight I found myself without any tears for this lady. I feel bad but we have quit being friends.

Days 7 and 8

The lockdown finalised. My daughter has to stay in my parent house and will not able to ferry supplies and take far look at me. She still calls using zoom and cheers me over small talk. Joseph and I shared our zooms talk with our daughter but we are still very cold to each other. I always see him minding the plants on the balcony from my little window. News on virus is increasing negatively on the global side. The death from Italy and Spain are frightful.

Day 9

IT IS 3 AM, I was awakened by Joseph. The officers want to see you at the hall. When I reached there, I saw the officer carrying Robert's baby, Bibi. He explained quickly that the baby is tested negative but still under quarantine rule. He wants the baby to be with me as her mother is in Malaysia and there is no one relative in Singapore. Roy was admitted to hospital. The hospital doctor agreed I will be the best person to look after her as she knew me. Without hesitation, I reached out for crying baby.”She must be hungry” Joseph said. He walked in the kitchen and start to prepare milk with the supply given by the officer. The rest of the night was sleepless as we wrestle with babysitting.

Day 10

I woke up and found the baby is missing. I strung to my knee and head to the hall when I heard the laughter from his room. “ She remains me of girl,” He said.”Baby is all the same” I retorted.”Why you marry me” a sudden question from him angered me. Luckily the heavy rain rescued me from starting a fight between us. After closing all window, I found him playing fishing toys with Bibi. Looking at his tired eyes, grey hair, and flat tummy. He was nothing like the times we are young and so much in love. We met in the supermarket as a stranger and dated immediately. He is still an intern at an engineering firm and I am an accountant then. Our dates were spent fishing in Kallang River, where he picked the worms. Now, He is doing well in Business but that man has changed. The few months before the affair was exposed. He kept late-night, criticising me for my ageing. 

Later in the afternoon, we received a call from Roy informing and checking on our health status. Robert wife call from Malaysia and break the bad news to us. Robert went into a coma. When I put down the handphone, I found myself tearing and in a mode for breaking down. He clutches my hand and assured me that everything will be alright.

That night, I couldn’t sleep at all but I am glad to see BiBi was sleeping well.

Day 11

This morning I woke up restlessly. Facebook news are not extremely good. The USA is the next country which has a growing number of virus. I immediately call Amy White, my best friend in State. She is upset that there are not enough mask in the USA as it happens in the early part of the start of the virus. She always was brave one and quickly announced she is joining a mask-making group, as she has a sewing machine. Inspired by Amy, I am determined to live the new normal now. I picked up crawling baby and head for Kitchen.

He has made the breakfast ready for the baby and me. He took the baby from me and start milking her.” Eat the breakfast “ He said. We start talking about the virus, our friends and family. Suddenly my next word was not the right one” Did you manage to get her?” I asked. I thought that is the polite way to do in a time like that.” I believe you do not want to hear about her. She is not the reason that our marriage failed. What I have done,can not be undone’ you have screamed out you are good wife last three years.I hear you ‘ He poured out angrily. I took it calmly and take the baby upstairs. What a jerk! I look at the rain outside thinking to myself.

Day 12 and day 13

We are the Zoom platform, talking to my daughter. She is worried about us on our health physically and mentally. “ Try to live civilised way in spite been a divorce. You both still Dad and Mum to me. We are talking and arguing on the platform that we didn’t notice the baby was crawling toward the staircase. When I happen to look out, I shriek in fear and jump and run for her. I slipped and tumbled down the flight of stair. I heard other screams “ Hua!” and “ Mum. I could not move my feet as I watch bibi skilfully hold the grille as she moved her butt and leg slowly down. I can hear her laughter thinking I have a game with her. I saw Joseph's face turn pale as he helps me to the chair. He called Roy and request immediate medical attention. The words have soften all the hatred as I hear what he said in the angry voice. “ If there is no doctor, I going to rush out with her and the whole world will hear about it.

Day 14

They did come yesterday evening and me that I will be fine after a few day rest.

I am happy we are getting out today. My daughter came. She helps me to dress up and picked up the baby, I was so happy after fourteen days of isolations that I realised every minute what was the freedom all these years.

     I was surprised when my daughter suddenly stops her car. ‘ Why Dad is leaving that lady’s car” she said and call her father. ‘ I only hear! Cool !. I hear a click and found her rolling her eyes around me. “ He just broke up with the girl” and she said in her mocking voice” You want me to pick up the old man there for summer romance”. I sat quietly” I prefer romance myself in Paris when the virus is over. The days when our teenage flounder over the mill boon love stories, meet a handsome guy. Together they tough it out in a hard world and found that they have a fairytale ending but no fairytale life. I hugged the baby and said “ Grandma is going to romance herself and love herself before any other kind of love.