Friends..?

'Just say it,' you silently reminded yourself. You knew you'd regret it if you didn't.

"?" His bright blue eyes peered innocently at you, illuminating the dark classroom. He stood under the wooden doorframe, his tall frame blocking the light from the setting sun.

Fiddling with your bag straps, your head tilted down, unable to meet his eyes. Feeling your body shake and your throat clog up, you feel your eyes burn with tears.

"What's wrong, dude?" He took a step towards you but you flinched, taking a step backwards. Looking up from the ground, you finally meet his eyes. Emotions swirling in his eyes.

Confusion.

Sadness.

Concern.

Finally breaking, tears rolled down your face. Hiccups escaping your throat. Your hands trying furiously to wipe your eyes.

'I can't do this..'

Seeing his figure rush towards you through your blurred vision, you could feel yourself crying harder. His hands gently clasped on your shoulders, you could feel his hesitation.

Pulling you into a hug, you leaned your head on his chest. Your hand gripping his shirt tightly. Your lungs gasping for air.

Sobs filled the silent room.

'No..'

'I have to tell him'

Squeezing his shirt tighter, you knew what you had to do next. Ripping his arms off you, you walked backwards deeper into the darkness of the classroom. Looking him straight into his eyes with fierce determination, only being met back with confusion and sadness.

Pulling your arms to your chest and clutching them tightly, you prepared yourself to say the words. Your heart started beating faster against your chest, your gaze tilted downwards. Taking a sharp breath, you scream out.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!!"

Panting softly, you feel the blood rush back to your face. Nervously looking up from the wooden floor, you feel your heart shatter. You knew this would happen and yet it felt much worse than you had ever imagined.

The look on his face spelled so many things at once. Shock. Confusion. Sadness. Self doubt. A sea of questions waiting to be answered. All of it made your skin go cold.

You felt frozen in place and yet you could feel your legs shaking.

"You done yet, kids?" The security guard asked. His head looking into the classroom from the usually loud young lad's shoulder.

Giving a stiff nod at him, you turn your gaze back to the boy, only to find him staring back at you. Unable to look him in the eyes, you quickly slipped past him and out of the classroom.

------------------------------------------

A few days past, you slowly start to settle back into your new life. Quietly listen to the teacher. Take notes. Sit alone at recess. Listen to the teacher. Take notes. Go home. It was a boring routine but might as well get used to it.

You sat alone in your chair at your table, silently eating your food. Suddenly, a shadow loomed over you. Looking up to see who this mysterious figure is, you recognize the boy infront of you.

"..Jamie..?"

'Why was he here?'

'We aren't friends anymore..'

"We need to talk now." He growled. His gaze firm and filled with passion. His arms crossed and his stance strong and stubborn.

Sensing the confused looks sent our way, you turned your gaze away from him.

"Can we talk later..?" Your voice a whisper. Soft but loud enough for him to hear.

"N-"

"Recess ends soon. We won't have enough time to talk." You interrupted. Your eyes meeting for a moment. Before breaking apart when you turned your head to the side.

Glancing at the clock, Jamie grumbled.

"We'll talk after school, okay?"

Seeing no response in return, he sighed and walked back to his class. Letting out a sigh of relief, you turned back to your uneaten lunch. Hearing the bell ring, your shoulders relax. Feeling the eyes on your back turn their attention to cleaning up.

------------------------------------------

Placing your books back in your bag, you nervously make your way to Jamie's classroom. Each step getting heavier and heavier as the feeling of dread loomed over you.

Standing by the doorway, you reminisced on how you used to wait out here for Jamie so that you two could go home together. Snapping out of your thoughts, your eyes scanned the room for the boy.

You finally spot him. He was standing there, surrounded by all his friends. Suddenly meeting your eyes, he turned to his friends. After saying somthing to them, he started walking towards you. Looking back, he gave them small smile.

Reaching you, you motioned him to follow you. Leading him towards an empty classroom, you take a seat at an empty table. Following you, Jamie took the seat across you.

A silence swept across the room. Jamie suddenly unable to look at you. Letting out a sigh, you start the conversation.

"What do you want, Jamie?" You snarl, your arms crossed and with a cold expression on your face but the bouncing of your leg told a different story.

Taking a deep breath, Jamie spoke strong and clear.

"Why do you not want to be friends anymore?"

"Does there have to be a particular reason?"

Pursing his lips, he looked to the side.

"Well no.."

"So I guess we're done here." You say, grabbing your bag.

"W-Wait!" He shouted.

"What do you want now?" Your brows furrowed and a scowl on your face.

A silence permeating the room. With a troubled look on a Jamie's face, you could tell he was thinking carefully about his next words.

"Why are you always alone?"

"Excuse me??" You snarl, your pride wounded.

What's wrong with being alone??

"I noticed a pattern with you." His voice gaining confidence.

"You always have one or two friends around you but suddenly you stop hanging around them after a few months." His gaze unwavering.

Noticing your stunned silence, he continued.

"You know what I think? I think that you do that on purpose."

"What..?" Your voice as soft as a whisper.

"I think that you can't handle opening up to anyone. Cause you're afraid."

"Shut up.."

"Afraid of being judged. Afraid of being vulnerable with anyone."

"SHUT UP!!" You yell with all your might. Your body shaking with anger.

"How dare you..??" You muttered, your bag dropping to the floor.

"HOW DARE YOU?!!?" You suddenly rose from your chair. The loud noise making Jamie flinch away.

"WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO ACCUSE ME LIKE THAT?! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?!?!" Your voice breaking.

"WHAT?? I CAN'T BE ALONE?!"

"DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT LOW OF ME?!"

Suddenly, a small sound breaks you away from your anger. Looking down, you see tears streaming down Jamie's face.

In horror, you blurt out.

"J-Jamie, I didn't. I didn't mean to scream at you. I'm so sorry" You say, carefully cupping his hands.

Crying even more, Jamie stuttered.

"I-I just d-didn't want to see you a-alone." His hand gently wiping away the tears.

"I-I care about you, yo-you know." He sniffled.

"I-I know you can be f-friends with who every you want b-but."

"I jus-just want you to be my f-friends again" He cried and cried. Only getting silence in response.

Feeling yourself break, tears flowed your eyes. Wrapping your arms around him, you let your head lean on his shoulder.

"JAMIE!!" You cried out. Your tears soaking his shirt.

He stopped in shock but then started crying again into your shoulder even harder this time.

------------------------------------------

A few minutes have gone by, with both you crying in each other's arms. Pulling away, you chuckled.

"You're such a crybaby." You teased, recieving a chuckle in return.

"You caught me." You smiled softly.

Looking down at your hands, you spoke.

"I'm scared." You breathed out.

"I'm scared of you getting bored. Scared of being left behind and forgotten."

"I don't want you to see the things that I don't like about me. I don't want to deal with the chance of everyone seeing those sides and leaving. I-"

"I don't need to hear anymore." Jamie said with a soft smile.

"I can't tell you that will never happen.." His voice growing soft.

"Life is unpredictable but that's kinda what makes it beautiful. You never know what you're gonna get."

"What if I dont want life to be unpredictable??"

"Well, we can't really do anything about that but we can try to look on the bright side, right?"

"..."

"We got this life. Might as well enjoy it for a while."

Staring back at him, you sigh.

"I can't just think like that just because you said it me, James."

"B-"

"But I'll take it into consideration." You smile.

Seeing his face light up, you let out a tired sigh.

'How did I get so lucky to have a friend like you?'

------------------------------------------

"Can we meet up with Holly again??"

"I'm starting to think you like my girlfriend more than me."

Giving him a cheeky smile, you say.

"Well, you're not wrong." Causing a dramatic gasp from the male beside you.

"Does 8 years of friendship mean nothing to you?!" Jamie cried, dramatic leaning on you.

"Get off me, weirdo" you say, pushing him off you.

A comfortable silence swept through you two.

"You know in highschool, I never thought I would have the friends I have now."

"You're pretty lucky to meet me."

"Really lucky."

"You were such a dumb dumb in highschool."

"Hey! I wasn't the one who got a 20 on their test before."

"Woah, low blow."

"You started it"