Dear Diary

Day 1

Dear Diary,

My name is Autumn. Our government has enacted an order for all persons to quarantine inside their homes because of an outbreak of a new strand of Coronavirus. I’m not really sure what’s going on, but it must be pretty bad. I live in a one-bedroom studio apartment, alone. I am expecting an order of rations, provided by the government, they have been generous enough to make sure everyone has everything they may need to survive for two weeks. It should be like a nice little staycation and I will most definitely get a lot of work done around my apartment that I have been putting off. They are here, I’ll check in again tomorrow.

-Autumn

Day2

Dear Diary,

This isn’t so bad. I will definitely have enough food and supplies for a few weeks, there will be so much leftover when this is quarantine is done. I have organized as much of it as I could fit in my pantry, the rest is in my coat closet. I wonder if they accidentally gave me someone else’s items. I hope there isn’t a family that received my items. I’m going to call them and ask.

-Autumn

Day 3

Dear Diary,

I waited two hours to speak to someone from the Distribution Agency yesterday. The lady assured me I got only my rations, they wanted to make sure that I would be okay for the entire two weeks, that was awfully nice of them. She was super sweet too. Oh, I forgot to mention, they also sent me a small window garden of herbs, they smell so good. I can’t wait to use them. I think tomorrow I am going to make a couple of big meals and freeze some of it for when this is over. Maybe that will cut down on the amount of money I spend on takeout?

-Autumn

Day 5

Dear Diary,

I got so caught up in my cooking project yesterday that I forgot to write. I used those fresh herbs and, oh man, did my apartment smell so good! I froze so much food yesterday, it will probably last me over a year! That should really cut down on my spending when this is over. I’m so glad I had the time to do it. I still have a ton of food left. I think my next project will be reorganizing my closet and putting aside clothes to donate. There’s just so much stuff I don’t wear anymore, mostly because it doesn’t fit. I can’t lie, all that fast food has really taken a toll on my waistline. I also started a new TV show that I’ve been wanting to watch. I feel like I have so much time to do things that I want to do now, it’s great.

-Autumn

Day 6

Dear Diary,

Ugh, I am so discouraged. I put so many items in my donate bag, they were all too small. I’m going to start exercising, maybe if I start a routine, I will keep up with it when this is over. I think I might have used a little too much of the basil from my window garden, it’s looking a little sad. I’ll have to look up how to take care of it.

-Autumn

Day 7

Dear Diary,

Halfway there. The President addressed the nation last night, he said he is optimistic that we will be free and clear in another 7 days. It was kind of weird though because I was watching my TV show when it just stopped and switched to his address. It was important though and my show was paused so I can’t complain.

-Autumn

Day 8

Dear Diary,

I’ve been thinking more about what the President said last night and I don’t really care for how he worded it. He is optimistic that we will be clear in 7 days. He is hopeful that this new disease will have passed by then. Maybe I’m just thinking too far into it and whatever they are doing must be working because I haven’t heard of anyone getting sick or dying from it. I did call my mom today and checked in on her, she seemed fine, but dad is getting a little antsy to get out of the house. I should really call them more often.

-Autumn

Day 9

Dear Diary,

I really think I was overthinking what the President said yesterday. It would be absurd to think this would go on any longer than two weeks. They told us the life span of this virus is only two weeks. Two weeks should be plenty of time to stop the spread. The sun is so bright today, it may even be warm enough to open my windows tomorrow. I have seen a few of my neighbors stepping out onto their balconies, it makes me kind of sad that I don’t have a balcony or the ability to go outside since I would have to walk through the hallway and chance coming in contact with others. I kind of miss human interaction.

-Autumn

Day 10

Dear Diary,

The weather was so nice today, I opened my windows and let some fresh air in. I didn’t realize how stale the air in my apartment had gotten. My basil plant is looking a little better too since I opened the windows, maybe it just needed a little fresh air. Four more days and I still have so much food left in my pantry, not to mention what is still in my closet. I think I'll make some more big meals again tomorrow to freeze.

-Autumn

Day 11

Dear Diary,

I have accomplished so much and so little in the last 11 days. I made and froze so many meals that I won’t have to eat out for over a year and I have implemented a workout routine every day which feels really good. I am hopeful that I will be able to fit back into my old clothes in the next few months so I may not even donate them, just put them away. On the other hand, I haven’t had the chance to deep clean like I wanted to. Maybe I will start on that tomorrow, I still have three days left.

-Autumn

Day 12

Dear Diary,

I deep cleaned my bathroom today. I can’t believe how disgusting it was. I thought it was pretty clean but boy was I wrong! It’s clean now though and that’s all that matters. Two days left. I think tomorrow I will deep clean my kitchen. I’m glad this is going to be over soon, I have a few bags of garbage piled up by the door and they are starting to stink. I’m not going to be able to clean out my fridge until I can get rid of the trash, I can only imagine how that would smell.

-Autumn

Day 13

Dear Diary,

ONE MORE DAY! I can’t wait to interact with people again. I called my mom again, she is getting really annoyed with dad, he has been dying to leave the house. At least they have a backyard so they can go outside. I miss being outside.

-Autumn

Day 14

Dear Diary,

The President addressed the nation again tonight. It’s not good. Despite the entire country being on lockdown, the virus has continued to spread so we are stuck in quarantine for another whole week. At least I have enough food to last, I’m glad they didn’t just give me enough for two weeks. He also informed us that China has offered to help us by maintaining our power grid, so that was nice of them.

-Autumn

Day 15

Dear Diary,

Mom called me today. My Aunt Linda is sick, they think she has contracted the virus. I hope they figure this out real soon. I’m not too worried about Aunt Linda though, she is a very strong and healthy woman.

-Autumn

Day 17

Dear Diary,

Aunt Linda passed away yesterday. Dad is devastated, so was I. I can’t imagine having a sibling die and not be able to say goodbye. I’m getting really worried, especially with my father wanting to leave the house all the time. Who knows what you might come in contact with out there?

-Autumn

Day 18

Dear Diary,

Well, I have deep cleaned my entire apartment and made and frozen so many meals that I will be eating well for three years. There is literally nothing else for me to do except watch TV and even that is getting boring. I have officially finished five entire series. I can’t wait for the new season of the last show I was watching to come out, but it will obviously have to be after quarantine is over. The garbage continues to pile up and I have resorted to freezing the garbage that has been spoiling in my fridge. I don’t even know what to do at this point, there is so much garbage piled over by my door, I don’t know if I will be able to get out when the day comes. The smell is nearly unbearable and despite the colder temperatures, I’ve left the window open.

-Autumn

Day 20

Dear Diary,

One more day, again. I hope it is for real this time. I talked to mom again today, dad isn’t doing too well. He hasn’t been out of bed in days other than to use the restroom. I guess Aunt Tina, Aunt Linda’s wife, had to drag Aunt Linda’s body outside their front door for her to be picked up like trash. It’s so sad.

-Autumn

Day 21

Dear Diary,

The President was on TV again tonight. No good news. The virus continues to spread. Why can’t people just stay inside? The President suggested we stay inside and only use our phones to speak to other people unless they live in the same house as us. Here goes another week inside. He also said sanitation workers will be coming around to pick up garbage, so that’s good. We will be receiving a phone call from the Distribution Agency in the next few days with specific instructions. This isn’t looking good.

-Autumn

Day 22

Dear Diary,

This is getting excruciating. I wish I could go out and talk to a real person. I am sick of watching TV and social media is all the same bullshit, people complaining about being locked inside mixed with people complaining that people are complaining about being locked inside. I get it, it’s a dangerous virus but I can’t stay cooped up in my apartment much longer, I’m going to go crazy here by myself. I talked to Mom today, Aunt Tina said no one has come to pick up Aunt Linda’s body yet, she had to stop animals from eating it the other night, so she dragged her back inside. I can’t imagine how that must be. This is all so crazy.

-Autumn

Day 26

Dear Diary,

It’s been four days since I last wrote. I’m pretty sure I literally slept an entire day away. The President has already announced that we aren’t coming out of lockdown at the end of this week. He said it could potentially be another two weeks. How long can this go on?

-Autumn

Day 28

Dear Diary,

They finally came to collect Aunt Linda’s body today. I can only imagine how bad that must have smelled. Two more days and we will have been in lockdown for a month. Also, in two more days, they will finally be coming to collect my trash. This is so crazy.

-Autumn

Day 30

Dear Diary,

It’s been a whole month. How did this happen? I have started reheating some of the meals I put in my freezer. I’m glad I made them. I’ve stuck to my workout routine, mostly. Dad isn’t doing so well, Mom said he just sits in his recliner and stares at the wall all day. Sometimes he will talk to himself, she says it sounds like he is having a conversation with someone else but no one else is there. She has tried to talk to him, but he just tells her to leave him alone. He is beginning to worry us.

-Autumn

Day 42

Dear Diary,

The President said another couple of weeks in quarantine, he said too many people are going out when they shouldn’t be, and they are all getting sick. I get it but I just want to go outside and talk to people and feel the sun on my skin, the grass between my toes. The TV has gotten boring, my phone is getting glitchy, it's time for a new one but I can’t order one now. Oh, and we've had rolling blackouts so there’s that too. We were told not to pay our bills, that the government would supply gas, water, and electricity but it’s been very unreliable.

Autumn 

Day 55

Two more weeks. I’m starting to wonder if this is ever going to end. I haven’t seen a person in almost two months, I’ve barely talked to people and only over the phone. My mother has stopped calling or answering my phone calls, I’m really worried about her and dad. Last time I spoke to her he wasn’t doing so well with his sister dying and being locked up.

Day 100

This is getting out of hand. I have literally slept days away. My skin is pale from lack of sun, I feel mentally and physically drained. I can’t go on like this. At least I have food and water but I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight, the clothes I bagged up for donation are now too big. We finally lost power two months ago so the Distribution Agency sent around generators but we are only allowed to run two outlets with it so I chose to run the outlet my fridge is plugged into and I can charge my electronics on the same outlet. I left my other allotment for my neighbors, the Wilsons because I know they are both on oxygen, so they have an extra outlet. I hope they are doing alright; I never got their phone number because they live just next door. Mom finally called me the other day, Dad isn’t doing well, he has been running a fever and acting weird. I wish I could go see him.

Day 112

Dad died today. I wish I could have said good-bye.

Day 155

Dear Diary,

Today feels like a good day. The sun is shining, my windows are open, the power even came back on this morning. I've been listening to music and dancing around my apartment. The government has been sending out mass text updates because not everyone has TV anymore and I haven’t gotten anything yet about ending quarantine tomorrow so hopefully, tomorrow will be the last day! I am so ready to get back out into the world. I want to celebrate the lives of the loved ones I’ve lost. I want to go get an iced coffee from Dunkin! I want to go walk around Target and spend $100 on things I don’t need. I want to go back to work! I’m so ready for this to be over!

-Autumn

Day 156

I got the message. Two more weeks. The power is out again.

Day 200

I heard a gunshot today. Sounds like someone couldn’t handle the lockdown anymore. I don’t blame them.

Day 287

I cut my hand yesterday and just let it bleed. What was the point of stopping it? I thought maybe I could just bleed out and die and not have to live like this anymore. It finally stopped on its own though, and now I just feel like shit. There’s a new foul odor coming through the walls. Everything stinks anyway, no one has collected garbage in months, but this is a new kind of stink, a rotten flesh kind of stink. 

Day 319

I’ve barely been out of bed in weeks. I haven’t heard from my mother since about a month after dad died. I tried to call my Aunt Tina but she hasn’t answered either. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I don’t want to do this anymore.

Day 322

Dear Diary,

I tried. It was so hard and I am just not strong enough. I can’t take this lockdown any longer. I’m sorry.

-Autumn

Day 336

Dear Diary,

I heard people talking in the hallway last night. It sounded like they were conspiring to overthrow the government. I know I am supposed to report them, but I just don’t care.

Day 363

Dear Diary,

A note was slipped under my door sometime during the night. In two days, there will be a revolution. In two days, we are all asked to walk outside. That’s it, just walk outside. 

Day 365

The air is thick with the stench of a dumpsite, but the sun and the air felt good on my skin. The grass has massively overgrown and there is nothing that time hasn’t touched. I didn’t see the Wilsons outside, so they're either scared or dead. Based on the smell coming from their apartment, it’s the latter. I am ready to get back out into the world. I am ready to be free!