My Shining Star

Looking up in the sky has always been so peaceful. It’s something I have liked to do since the hard times that have taken place for my family. What happened isn’t some fairy tale though, it’s more like a story of sadness and heartbreak. One night after one of the worst days in my life that I could possibly think of my mom caught me looking at the star wondering what I was doing. She asked, “What’s the matter son, is everything OK.” I answered her, “Yeah mom. I’m just looking at the stars.” She asked him, “ Why is that Santiago?” I told her, “It just puts me at ease since what just happened.” She responded “Oh OK son. Well if you need anything just let me know how I can help.” I told her, “Thanks mom I really appreciate all your love, help, and support.” First of all though we should start off with the story, that happened on January 9, 2020, which for me was really one of the worst damn days I could possibly have. From the start of my day, things were weird and seemed off. First of all I woke up late past seven, unlike my usual wake up time of 6:30 a.m. I made sure to hurry making my bed, brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and getting ready to leave so I could try to make my bus on time. That didn’t happen though. Luckily my dad had stayed home that day from work because he wanted to spend the day with his mom and my grandma. He gave me a ride to school and I barely made it on time with a spare five minutes to get to my first class. I went to my first three classes like usual and it wasn’t until my fourth period where I suddenly felt off.  At the moment I couldn’t put together what it was but I shook it off and went through the rest of my day pretty normally. During my 6th period I got an unusual text from my sister at 2:35 p.m. and wondered why she is doing this if she knows that I have class. She asked what class I had and what I was doing in it. Didn’t think much of her text so I went on to 7th period which is baseball P.E. and I vividly remember checking my phone after I had finished playing catch. There were 3 missed calls and a text saying call me back and go to the office. At that exact moment my stomach dropped so far down and I didn’t want to believe what might have possibly happened. When I finally got to the office, my sister was sitting and waiting there with my younger cousin. They were there to take me home and at the time I really didn’t want to ask what they were here for even though I knew deep down what it was. As we drove I kept quiet and stayed to myself until we finally got closer, about five minutes away from my grandma's house I asked, “What happened? Why did you pick me up?” Both my cousin and sister stayed quiet and at that moment tears began to drop from my eyes because even though I really didn’t want to know the answer and believe it, I knew exactly what was going on and what the answer was to my own question. The answer was my grandma had just passed away.  Still as we drove on I thought to myself that this couldn’t be true until I got there to see it for myself. As we pulled up to my grandma's house I saw some of my aunts and uncles outside talking. As I got out of the car and walked around I could see and feel the sadness in the rest of my family's eyes. I tried to greet my other family members like I always do with a big smile and a hug but I just couldn’t keep myself together. As I finally made way into my grandma’s room, I saw her lying there, beautiful but helpless, as her cold corpse just rested on her bed. I remember just hugging her and breaking down crying wishing for her to wake up. After I was finally able to stop and get out for some fresh air I saw both of my parents and I went up to them and just embraced the both of them with the biggest hug that I could ever give them will cry my eyes out. The rest of that day we just spent our time there at her house, the house she called everybody's home while more and more friends and family members came by to see her one more time before she had to be taken away. Fast forward a couple of days and it is the day of  January 15, 2020, a few days from what felt like the one of the worst possible days of my life. To most of the world it was just another day where they go through their normal routine, but for me it's the day I must finally say goodbye to one of the first women I have ever loved, and one of my best friends since I was a young boy about the age of 3. The day just so happens to be burial day. The day where all possible contact I had with my grandmother is lost. She was a second mother to me, taught me lots of important lessons that I will continue to carry on as I grow. I know this day is in a way supposed to be beautiful and celeb-rational, but for me it hurt like hell knowing I single handingly lost one of the most important women in my life. I know that I will never be able to let go of this pain that I have for her loss but because of her I must carry on and live life to the fullest because it would be what she would want the most. She will always be by my side forever and always. I loved and will always love my grandma with all my heart. We go forward a couple of months to the month of May my mom and myself can catch me looking up at the sky. Yesterday on April 30 for some reason I looked at the sky and just stared at the stars. I look and try to find all the constellations I could possibly see. I see the little dipper and then the big dipper. I find Orion's belt and look at all of the stars in amazement. My mom sees me and notices me looking at the stars. She tells me, “It’s beautiful isn’t it.” I told her yes, it was very beautiful and amazing.” I let her know, “You see that star right by the moon shining extra bright.” She says, “Yes Santiago it is very bright and beautiful.”  I tell her, “I look to look at the sky and try to find that exact same star every day because it reminds me of my grandma. I like to think of her being in that star as it is somehow her way of looking over all of us. It’s like my own personal shining star” My mom says, “That’s a beautiful thought son, I’m more than positive she is looking over us.