New Years I was Truly Alone

It was 1980. We had yet another perfect New Year’s Eve. Sam picked me up at the front door.

 He came inside to greet my parents as usual. After Sam helped me on with my winter coat we said good evening to my parents and headed to the car. The gentleman he is, Sam opened the door and closed it after I was seated. He drove us to La Blanc, the ritziest place in town. Sam said he had 8 o'clock reservations. 

 Sam was always punctual. We parked. Sam opened my car door and helped me out. After entering the elegant restaurant, we ate the 6 course meal then we went onto dancing until midnight. When I heard 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 I also heard "Will you marry me"? The crowd should have heard me shout out "yes"!

Every year for 25 years we repeated that evening, except the part about meeting my parents before going out. We lost them 15 years ago. A teenager was trying to play a video game while driving a car. Not a scratch on him.

Even after the children have grown and married Sam asked me to marry him every time and I said yes every time.  September came around and I lost Sam in 2001. The children moved on and our friends were either in Florida or have passed on. 

           Halloween was frightening for me. Kids making loud noises and the very tall ones coming to the door. I was afraid not to hand out candy as Mr. Stone didn’t and his mail box was destroyed last year.

Thanksgiving was just me and my neighbors Gertty and Mildred. We managed to all bring a little something and had a lovely dinner while we watched “It’s a Wonderful Life”

Christmas was spent at the senior center. There were 5 of us. Gertty, Theodore, Albert, Mavis and me. Mildred wouldn’t recognize she was a senior. Odd as is the oldest. She is 92. We exchanged gifts in front of the artificial yet real looking tree. It was decorated with colorful blinking lights and all red and white bulbs. The center cooked us a ham dinner. It was 2 pm and dinner time. While eating the snow came down. It was only flurries but lovely looking.

Dinner had passed and gifts were open. We all said so long, and see you next year. We only got together for Christmas as it’s too cold for us to really be outside during the winter months. Theodore was acting a little strange. He had me move closer to the door as he looked up with a twinkle in his eyes. There was the mistletoe hanging. He said “May I”; I nodded my head as he pecked my cheek. I felt the blushing as I walked out the door. I dropped off Mavis at her front door and drove home the long 2 miles.

The next day after my tea I kept wondering what was next. Oh New Years is just a few days away. My daughters called and said they would be in town. Just the girls. I was excited as I knew they were coming to keep me company for New Years. My hopes and dreams were making me flutter.

I began to dust their rooms and changed the linens. I baked the chocolate chip cake and cranberry bread, their favorites.  As they pulled up to the front door I took out the batch of cookies just in time for them to be warm. I poured the milk and was ready to greet my precious little girls. They walked in the door, talking and chatting as they don’t see each other much.

“Mom, we are home” I heard. I greeted them at the door with a tray of milk and cookies. I thought we would sit in the parlor for a visit. The girls said they were in a hurry to meet up with their old friends. It was girl night they said. After a bite of a cookie and a sip of milk they ran upstairs to change. Before I could get in 5 words they were dressed and out the door. It was 10:00; I had to go to bed. I left the porch light on and one in the parlor. The next morning would be better I said to myself.

We ate breakfast together and the girls dropped the news. New Year’s Eve they were doing the all-girl bash. As they talked it sounded like it included me. They said they were heading out at 8 pm. Tara shouted be ready and dress up. I thought she was speaking to me. They left the house.

I spent the day setting my hair, pulled out my makeup bag and took an hour to decide which dress to wear. I was in my room when the girls came home. I heard the showers running as they got ready. I was just taking the rollers out of my hair. They were making noise and suddenly it got quiet.

I was just using my hair spray. I pulled out my best coat, the one with the mink collar. I went downstairs to show off me and her how lovely my daughters looked. They always did clean up nice. Ha ha.

           I sat in the parlor waiting for them to come down. It was 8:22 pm. I shouted up that I was ready. I heard no sounds in return. I went to each bedroom. There were clothes on the bed, yet no girls. I realized I was alone. Sure I was disappointed but what was I to do. They did say just the girls. I guess it’s been a while and I wasn’t a girl.

           I changed into my nightgown and bathroom. Washed the junk off my face and hung up my dress and coat. I microwaved a tv dinner and sat watching my favorite show- Hazel. She always did make me smile. The time was passing slowly. Sure wish it would go fast. At 10 pm I called it quits and went to bed. All I could think about it was New Year’s Eve. I saw so many count downs which meant so much. I was alive and full of life. Smiling from ear to ear. Those were the days. Who would have ever thought those days would have ended.

           The next morning I cooked hot cakes for the girls as they told me about their evening. They never asked and I never said how my evening was. They left as fast as they arrived. The next New Year’s I was truly alone. I was in my coffin, six feet under with snow on top of me. I had passed on.