Love/Hate

“Alice, do you really have to leave? We’re moving in three weeks. Can’t you get your boss to delay your trip?” 

“Evan, I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about it. I promise I’ll be at the new place in two months.”

Evan’s face falls. “Two months. . .” He sits on their bed, head in his hands.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t change it! It’s a business trip, and the deal we’re trying to seal is very important for the convention. You could come to the convention, you know, I’m allowed to have a plus-one,” Alice says helplessly.

“I have to move all our furniture into our new apartment. I can’t just leave Dav to do our work.”

“I know! And I can’t do anything about not being there, okay?” Alice huffs.

Evan lets out a long breath. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m not trying to make you feel bad about something you have no control over. I’m just a little stressed about getting everything up there safely.”

Alice sighs. “I’m sorry, too. I wish I could be there.” She looks at her watch. “Look at the time. I hope I don’t miss my flight. . .”

Evan stands up. “Do we still have time to get lunch?”

“If we make it quick.”

“Okay. I’ll drive you to the airport after.”

“Thanks, honey.” Alice kisses his cheek. “Let me grab my bag. I’ll meet you at the car.”

Alice walks around their one piece of remaining furniture- their bed. Her bag is on the other side, her side.

Evan’s keys jingle as he walks out of their apartment. His sedan is parked in the lot at the front of the little building. Their building is quiet, even at midday. The road crossing in front of the complex isn’t often traveled by tourists. In fact, the small town in Pennsylvania isn’t even a popular destination. It’s quiet, calm, and quaint. The apartment building Alice and Evan live in is only three floors, two buildings.

Sitting in his car, he thinks of how this is his last day with Alice for two months. We’ve never been apart for that long. . .not since high school. Evan shakes his head. We’ll FaceTime every night; it’ll be fine. Two months isn’t that long, especially when you’re working every day.

“Every day!” Evan shakes his head. Every day working, every day without Alice, every day alone. With Dav, of course, but Dav is no substitute for Alice.

Nobody’s a substitute for Alice, as Evan had learned long ago. Their first meeting was immediately full of sparks. They were drawn to each other. But at first, it was just a summer thing. After it was over, Evan tried to move on. He dated girls who reminded him of Alice, but none of them came close to her. I think all of their names even started with A. . .Evan chuckled. How desperate I was.

He saw Alice again sooner than he thought he would. She ran to him, from wherever she had lived to the little town in Pennsylvania where he had lived. His surprise when he saw her at his doorstep was overwhelmed by his feelings for her. He remembered opening the door, rain pounding the windows nearby, when-

Click! Alice herself interrupts his reminiscing by sliding into the seat next to him. She leans across the little table between them and kisses Evan’s cheek. “What were you thinking about? I could see you smiling from the front door.”

Evan laughs. “You.”

Alice smiles shyly. “I hate it when you say things like that. . .it’s embarrassing.”

“Even when there’s nobody around?”

Alice surveys the parking lot, looking for an excuse. “There’s that guy!” She points at their neighbor, Marty, walking to his car a few spaces away.

“Really, Marty? He can’t hear us, we’re in a car with the doors shut.”

Alice huffs, knowing Evan’s right. “Where do you want to go for lunch?”

“I don’t know, I thought I’d let you choose. It is your last time in this little place.” Evan pulls out of the lot, onto the road.

“Eau Claire?”

“Can we get there in time?”

Alice checks Google Maps. “Yes, if we go fast.”

“Alright, babe, let’s go then.” 

Evan slowly inches out of the parking spot and turns towards the right, trying his best not to hit the cars near him, and they're on their way. When he reaches a red light, he kisses her on the cheek. Alice turns her face away so Evan can’t see her smile. I love him she thought.

Eau Claire is a little town, population 316 at the last census. No popular restaurants, but there is a tiny back-alley one that Alice loves: Tacos, De Facto. Mexican is her favorite. Evan doesn’t like it too much, but he’ll eat a truckful of tacos for Alice.

Running two minutes late, they pull into Tacos, De Facto. They eat quickly- Alice, a chicken taco; Evan, a burrito.

“Thanks, Lili!” Alice calls to the waitress as they leave. “Wow, I can’t believe we won’t eat here again.”

“Well, you won’t!” Evan jokes. “You’ll be away for months, but I’ll be here for a few more days, packing-”

“You’d go without me?” Alice’s face is crestfallen.

“I was kidding; I’d never go to Tacos, De Facto without you.” He squeezes her shoulders.

Her face relaxes. “Oh. Thanks.” She leans into his hug.

“Lili’s watching from the window,” Evan whispers. He smiles, knowing what her reaction will be.

Alice jumps backwards. “We’d better go. The airport awaits.”

They walk back to the sedan, hand in hand.

~~~

“I’m only one~ call~ away~ I’ll be there to save~ the~ day~”

Evan drives back into Jersey City on a bright November afternoon, singing merrily. “One Call Away” by Charlie Puth reminds him of Alice.

Oh, Alice! He’ll see her today. It’s been two successful months of Facetime calls. Successful not because we’re apart, Evan thinks. Successful because Alice sealed her deal, and the apartment is all furnished! I hope Alice will love it here. 

He turns onto his new street. One-way, houses on either side. Their new home is strangely placed, but somehow it fits. Smack in the middle of the little street, on the right side of the road, is Gloria Gables. 

He pulls into the driveway of the apartment complex. Small, but just big enough to fit the cars of the people in the building. The gravel hits the bottom of the car.

Evan gets out of his car and waves at Raul, a boy who lives next door to the complex. Raul is playing on his driveway, which is spacious only when there’s no car in the way. “Hi, Evan! What’s up?”

“Hey, Raul!”

“You look so happy today,” Raul says, walking over to Gloria Gables’ driveway.

“You’re observant,” Evan nods. “My girl is coming home today!”

“Your girl. . .Alice?”

Evan smiles, blushing slightly. “Yep, that’s her. She’ll be here soon. She’ll love it on this street.”

“Bet she will. You better introduce me! Mom says you can come over for dinner sometime! We’ll make cookies for a housewarming gift,” Raul says.

“Raul! Lunch!” a shout, Raul’s mother, comes from inside his house.

“I’d better go. Bye, Evan!” Raul runs inside.

Evan smiles. Ah, Raul. Reminds me of a younger me. He shakes his head, and stares up at his new home as of last month. Beautiful. “How had I never come here before?” he shakes his head, laughing . “Alice will love it. I know it.”

~~~

HONK!

HONK!

HONK!

Alice grumbles as she turns onto the Liberty Bridge. “I hate it here.” Just think. You get to see Evan today. Evan. That’s what’ll get you through this. Evan. Evan. EVAN!

Her consciousness is loud enough to rival the traffic leading onto Liberty Bridge. The river is just as gross-looking as her expression. “Gloria Gables. . .sounds nice enough. Unlike the rest of this place,” Alice says as she checks Google Maps. “Why did I ever agree to come back?”

~~~

The gravel, still freshly overturned from hitting Evan’s sedan, now thumps against Alice’s car.  Finally, Alice thinks as she steps out of her car. It was an exhausting two months, and she is eager for a few things. To be relocated to the Jersey Location, to be with Evan, to be at home.

Will this place ever be home again? She thinks. It’s loud, crowded, and small.

Raul is outside again, but Alice does not acknowledge him. She doesn’t know him, even though he knows her from all Evan’s talks.

Meanwhile, Evan is in their new apartment, eagerly waiting for Alice’s arrival. I love this place! It’s quiet for the location and pretty roomy, too! Nice neighbors. . . feels like home already!

The lock on the door clicks. “Alice!” Evan breathes, jumping up like an eager puppy.

Alice opens the door. “Evan,” she sighs, relieved to see her only comfort. All her hatred for Jersey City flees her mind in that moment.

Alice drops her bag and runs towards him. They embrace, kissing. “I missed you. . .” Evan says, hugging her tightly.

“I missed you too,” Alice says, shutting her eyes and leaning on Evan. “Babe, I’m so tired. . .”

“You had a long day of driving.”

“And a long two months. . .” Alice says. 

“I missed you, love,” Evan says again, tangling his fingers in her hair. He breathes in her scent. Heavenly. “You’re so much prettier in real life,” he whispers into her hair.

He feels Alice smile against his shoulder where her cheek is pressed. “You too.”

He pulls back from their hug, but only to kiss her again. “Don’t leave again. . .”

“I don’t plan to. I have a new boss now, being relocated, and she knows I don’t want to go on business trips anymore.”

Evan smiles as they kiss. “I missed you,” Alice says as she pulls away. “I can’t stop saying it. . .” 

“It must be true then,” Evan says, twisting a strand of her hair around his finger. “Because I can’t stop saying it either.”

They sit there for a while, embracing.

Eventually, reluctantly, Alice pulls away. “So, this is our new home.” She gestures around her to their apartment, seeing it for the first time in person.

“Yep! I rather like it. It’s. . .”

A horn honks outside, and all Alice’s hatred comes back. “It’s not my favorite. It’s small.”

“I was going to say roomy,” Evan says, looking around. “It’ll feel bigger over time. There’s a garden out back, too! It’s quiet and-”

“Quiet? The location isn’t my favorite, and on top of-”

“Alice, quit complaining! You just got home- I haven’t seen you in two months!”

“I have every right to complain. I’m tired and I need space.”

“Just a second ago when we were kissing you didn’t need space! And just because you’re tired doesn’t mean you can complain about everything.” Alice starts to say something, but Evan cuts her off. “Nuh-uh. We didn’t move here for you to complain. I love it here. It’s quaint! The street is adorable, especially our building. The neighbors are great, too. We moved here for your job. It’s our first place on our own, where we know absolutely nobody!”

“It is not quaint! It’s crowded, that’s what it is. I hate it here.”

“You just got here!”

“Well I spent two months up in Syracuse working every day! It would have been better to just not accept the job. The lobby smelled like cooking pasta and there’s one-”

“Alice! You spent the last two months working, but so did I! I worked to find us this place. I worked to move everything in. I worked, too. I’m tired; you’re tired, whatever! Please, just be grateful for what I’ve done for us. You’ve been making money, but I’ve been making us a home here, and now you’re going off and saying you hate all the work I’ve done! How would you feel if I told you I hated your work?”

“I. . .” A tear falls down her cheek.

Evan sighs. “I’m not apologizing,” he says sadly.

Alice shakes her head. “Why does our reunion have to be like this? Why can’t we just. . .not fight? Find some. . .common ground?”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like we’re stuck in this cycle of fight, make up, repeat. I love you, but I don’t like where we live.” She shakes her head. “Why’d I let you choose the location?”

“I. . .don’t know. I thought you would like the city.”

“I did. I lived here as a child. In New Jersey. For years, I loved it here. I loved the crowds, the bustle and hustle. Everything changed the day I met you, though. Summer camp in-”

“11th grade. I remember.”

“I wanted nothing more than to steal you away and live somewhere quiet. Away from my environment. You. . . you became my escape. My escape from the loudness of the world. Little did I know, my world was about to get louder.”

“W-what do you mean?" Evan asked.

Alice sinks to the floor. “My parents divorced. My mom remarried two days later. How could she move on that fast? How could she?” Alice sobs. “I needed you. I ran away to you. In the country. I hated the city from that day on.”

“Alice, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you hated it here that much. We can-”

“No. I’ll stay. For you. Because I love you. I’m doing it for you. I love you, Evan Karner.”

“You don’t need to-”

“Evan. I. Love. You. I’ll stay for you. Here in Jersey City. . .I don’t like it, but I’ll deal with it, for you.”

Evan kneels down to Alice. “Look at me. I love you too, Alice Lee. But you don’t have to stay. We can leave.”

She sighs. “We just moved in. I’ll give it a chance.”

Evan smiles. “Thank you.”