Kiera and the Sea Dragon

CW: Abuse, Sexual Violence, Trauma

       To escape the anger that burned through my veins with debilitating power, I fled to the silent house by the sea. Silence was all I had. Only the noise of waves crashing against the black rock lined shore interrupted my peace, but that sound didn’t bother me. It fueled me. 

           As I sat on the shore, letting icy wind pierce through my soul, I noticed a large cave carved in the sea cliffs a mere walking distance away. The glow of large yellow eyes peered out at me, but I blinked them away. Then sipped my lemony tea, which already had the warmth sucked from it and tossed away in the wind.  

           The extensive journey to the sea exhausted me down to the bones, and I returned to the small gray cottage ready for sleep. There wasn’t another house for miles. I didn’t see anyone else on the beach. Yet, when I laid down in the fluffy down feather bed, shadowy figures crept by the windows. I pulled the blanket tightly to me and laid as still as I could. If they don’t know I’m here, they’ll keep walking. Nervously I glanced at the windows and saw a wall of teal scales boarding them. 

“Don’t worry, Kiera. I’m here.” The booming voice sounded like my father, but that didn’t make sense. 

I pictured him coming home from work covered in soot and grease and smelling like gas, oil, and other chemicals. I always rushed to hug him and relieve the anxiety of missing him so much. He'd say to wait until he took a shower, but I never did. Nor did my mom who'd be there right after me with a kiss. The scent of his memory soothed my nose and quieted my mind. 

My legs wobbled as I weakly stepped towards the window. The scales moved rapidly, and then a large golden eye appeared in the window closest to me. 

“You need to rest,” the creature said. “I’ll protect you.” 

I looked through the doorway into the next room. All the windows were covered by sea-colored scales. The creature appeared to be wrapped around the house. Suddenly everything felt warmer and somehow cozier. My eyes grew heavy, and the weight of exhaustion piled on top of my shoulders until I slumped down. I trusted the words of my father, even if they were coming from a strange creature. He would protect me. He always did. Well, expect for the one time he couldn’t. I crawled back into the bed, curled up under the covers, and let sleep take over.    

When I woke, it was to a cream-colored pillow stained in red blood. Was I bleeding? I couldn't find where it'd be leaking from. My head seemed fine other than a dull ache. An image flickered across my mind like the remains of a bad dream overlapping waking hours. I tumbled down steep stairs and saw a figure at the top. He lingered only a moment, but I knew it was Brayson. I tossed the pillow and shook the thoughts from my head. The wooden floors felt too cold beneath my feet, and I searched the drawers for socks and a sweatshirt. After wrapping myself in warmth, I headed outside hoping to get closer to the sun that gently crawled in through the windows, teasing me with the promise of heat.

On the soft, sandy beach, not far from the cottage, I saw a fort made of smooth, white driftwood that blended with the sand. A small boy with wild black hair, and dark tanned skin stood in front with a twisted driftwood sword in hand. He jumped in the air making “hi-yah” noises and kicking high.

“Hi,” I said, not wanting to startle him.

He whirled around and aimed his sword at me. Then lowered it when recognition crossed his face.

His brown eyes and slight smile reminded me so much of my own. The familiarity both endearing and eerie. Then a lump hardened in my throat. Something about him reminded me so much of Brayson too. A chill trickled down my spine and I shook. I looked away. I don’t want to think of him. Don’t want to ever say that name. Even in thoughts.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked.

“What’s your name?” I asked since I felt uncomfortable answering his question with the truth or a lie.

“Jim John James.”

           A laugh pried my lips apart. The names of all my uncles. Growing up I named everything after them. All my pets and inanimate objects I felt particularly strong about, like my first car.

           “Where are your parents?”

           He looked confused. Then with a snarky tone he said, “My dad’s locked up and my mom is crazy.”

           I bristled at that last word. “You shouldn’t call people crazy. I’m sure she does her best.”

           He sighed. “I’m tired of playing these games with you, Kiera. Why don’t we do something else?”

           “You know my name?”

           “Of course. I know all about you.”

           “You sound very…old for your age.”

           “That’s what happens when you grow up with two parents who can’t get their shit together. You got to grow up instead.”

           “You shouldn’t swear.”

           He smirked at me. “Let’s play something fun.”

           “Like what?”

           “There’s a wrecked ship down that way. We can be pirates looking for treasure.”

           “Okay.”

           “I’ll let you use the sling shot.”

           That’s when I noticed he had a whole collection of driftwood weapons. Some were decorated with seashells and sea glass. Some of the swords had hilts wrapped in seaweed.

           As we walked down the beach, a cool wind caused me to wrap my arms around myself. I wondered how he could be so content wearing only burnt orange swim shorts. Children seemed stronger against the cold. He ran ahead leaping in the air and landing in the shallow water with loud smacks and splashes. He looks too thin. He probably needs lunch. Do I even have food?

           He spun around and grinned at me in a way that tightened my heart like a vice. He looked so much like him. Then his smile faded with the sun. Shadowy figures wavered in the distance making it hard to tell if they were real. The boy ran up to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and began to cry.

           “Make them leave,” he whined.

           “How?” I whispered and searched desperately for a place for us to hide. The sinister figures slithered forward. Glancing at the cave, I noticed the yellow glow. A teal dragon head emerged from the darkness. With a growl, he opened his mouth and breathed a glittery, glowing white light across the shadows. They vanished.

           “You’re safe here,” my father’s voice said from the mouth of the dragon. Then the creature retreated into the darkness again.

           I felt the bunny soft strands of the boy’s hair as I stroked it soothingly. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”

           Of course, it was easy to be reassuring now that a dragon had done the work of protecting for me. Jim John James didn’t seem to mind. He hugged me tightly a moment longer and then scampered off to play where the waves broke against the shore once more.

           Several crows cawed, communicating amongst their murder, as they speckled the beach grass black. My legs were tired, but I saw the bow and stern of the ship protruding from the sand and knew we didn’t have much further to go. The boy ran over and scrambled to the top tip of the bow and held his driftwood sword high. Like a rising rogue wave, I felt the love swell in my heart. There’s something about that boy.

           I looked out to the sea. A strangely familiar woman stood with waves breaking around her body. Her long black hair danced in the wind and she held out her arms as if hugging the world. Our eyes met. Hers were filled such an animated curiosity they sucked me in. A pale-yellow dress clung tightly to her body, glued to it by the damp ocean water. She was young and enchantingly beautiful, but also familiar in that tip-of-the-tongue way I couldn’t place.  

           “Oh great. She’s here.” The boy said.

           I didn’t notice he stood beside me or that his hand held mine. “You don’t like her?”

           “She wants to keep us apart.”

           “What’s her name?”

           “Historia.”

           “That’s pretty.”

           He shrugged. “If you talk to her, you’ll get lost.”

           “What do you mean?”

           “Please pick me,” he whispered.

           Historia walked towards us with impressive grace. “You look like someone who could use another adult to talk to.”

           I didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t know anyone else lived around here.”

           “Only a few people know about it.”

           “My family always came here off season. We all liked the solitude I guess.”

           “It’s a beautiful place.”

           “I like your dress. I think I actually had one like it once.”

           “You should wear it again.”

           “Oh, I…my body has changed. Those things don’t─”

           “Nonsense. You’d look stunning in it.” There’s no way she’d know that, but the way she says it I believed her. When did I stop wearing dresses? Why?

           The boy rolled his eyes and tugged at my hand.

           “You should join me in the water. It’s perfect,” she said.

           “I don’t know. It seems cold.”

           “It’s warmer under water.”

           I noticed a colorful beaded bracelet around her wrist, and nostalgia warmed my heart. “I made bracelets like that all the time with my best friend.”

           It had been so long since I’ve thought of Angela. I wondered then how she was doing and what became of her. Why did we stop talking?

           “We should make some together then,” Historia grinned warmly.

           I felt another tug at my hand. Then heard his pleading voice say, “You said you’d find treasure with me.”

           “There’s treasure under the water,” Historia said. “All your favorite things from when you were young.”

           “What’s it doing under water?” I asked.

           She laughed. I loved her laugh. It sounded so free. It was the laugh of a person who hadn’t been weighed down by trauma or hardship. The laugh of someone who loved life and expected the best from it. I used to laugh like that, I think. Before…

           A shadowy figure rose from the water. His dark hair looked like dangling seaweed. His eyes were empty sockets. He reached out a crooked hand made of black light. My chest filled with pressure from holding my breath. Every direction I turned in; I saw more like him.

           “Some of them are in the water too, but we can swim past them. We can go back to before all this,” Historia said calmly.

           “Don’t!” Jim John James cried. “You can’t go back. You’ll get lost.”

           I crouched down to the sand and wrapped my arms around my knees. With a deep breath, Jim John James raised his driftwood sword and swung it at the shadowy figures. It passed through them without damage.

           “You need to do something!” He cried.

           “I-I can’t do anything.” Forcing each word out took energy. A shadow hand touched my shoulder and I saw Brayson on top of me with his hand clamped over my mouth threatening me not to tell anyone. Telling me to destroy the evidence. How could he refer to it that way? I wailed and the sound pushed back the figure for a moment.

           “Oh Kiera, my sweet girl,” I heard my mom’s voice say. I looked around for her but didn’t see her. I felt a warm hand brush back my hair, but I couldn’t see it.

           “You’re safe now, Kiera.” The dragon emerged from the darkness again, blasting the shadows with his fiery white light. “Please come back to us.”

           “How?”

           “Follow me into the water.” Historia said and reached out a hand.

           “No, follow me. I need you.” The boy pleaded. “If we go to the cave, you can return. The dragon will help you.”

           “Once we get in deep enough, these things will go away. It’ll just be you and me and all your favorite things. We can be happy. We can stay in a better time.” Historia said.

           “It won’t be real though,” he whispered. “And I can’t make it without you.”

           Historia looked panicked. “Will you ever be able to look at him? He reminds you and every time you’re reminded, they come.”

           Longingly, I glanced back at the gray cottage. I wanted to sit in the quiet house and watch the ocean. I wanted to be away from everything and everyone.

           “Kiera.” The dragon’s voice no longer boomed. The sound became distant and soft. The yellow eyes still glow from the darkness, but then they closed.

           I looked into the boy’s eyes. Those eyes that looked so much like mine. The memories tumbled towards me, but I pushed them aside. Love shined through me like the dragon’s breath shined through the shadows. All the doubts evaporated. I took his little hand in mine. We can do this.

           “Let’s go to the dragon cave.”

           “But…” Historia protested.

           I wanted to be her. I wanted to be how I was before. That couldn’t happen though, and maybe that was okay. Maybe I could become someone better.

           He led me towards the cave. A brightness blossomed in him the further we walked. Soon he was the happy child again, running ahead and jumping. Tiredness overwhelmed me, but I continued to walk then crawl towards the cave. I refused to look back.

           Finally, we reached the entrance. The dragon laid before me. Jim John James crawled onto his back and held his driftwood sword high. “Time for the adventure to begin.”

           “I don’t understand,” I said.

           “You walk through the cave and you’ll return,” he said. “The other side is the hospital. Grandma and Grandpa.”

           “What about you?”

           “It’s not time for me yet, but I’ll see you soon. Right?”

           I placed my hands gently on my stomach and looked up at the massive cave before me. “Yes. I’ll see you soon.”

           The dragon pushed off the ground. His teal scales glistened in the sunlight as he swam over the choppy water with the boy cheering on his back. I stepped into the cave. At the other end, I saw a bright white light. I saw the faces of my mom and dad staring down the tunnel towards me. Exhaustion broke over me in waves. Anger still tumbled beneath the surface like the pebbles and seashells that toss in the foam. I took a deep breath. It’s time for the silence to end.