Gone Forever

Everyday seemed the same. I worked my boring 9-5 job answering phones at our local insurance office. I didn't enjoy it, but I needed money because my mother was in the hospital with cancer. We had no other family and I was all she had.

I hated the small town in Colorado that we lived in too. I wanted to leave years ago, but that got put on hold for multiple different reasons. Now I need to stay here for my mom.

When I left my house I could feel that the weather outside was turning colder and colder by the day, it was in the air that it was going to snow soon. I also hated the snow, one of the reasons I couldn't wait to leave this shit hole.

The neighbor across the street, a tall brown haired slim faced man, around my age had just moved in a couple days ago. He was getting his mail and looked up at me and we met each others gaze. He didn't smile, or seem very friendly, so I quickly looked away and got into my car. When I backed out I realized the man hadn't moved and watched me pull out and drive away.

I got a super eerie feeling and chill ran down my spine. I needed something to cheer me up because I was feeling down about my mothers test results coming back later today. I played one of my favorite songs and serenaded myself as I drove to work. The cloudy sky started to sprinkle with white snowflakes and I sighed about it.

When I got to the office I parked and put my pink scarf back on, and walked up to the building. My coworker Ben walked past straight to the double doors and closed it on me as I walked up, which I thought to be extremely rude. I stopped at the door and looked in disbelief because Ben was one of the most gentlemanly guys where I worked.

I decided that he probably didn't see me. I walked up the stairs to the second floor, and walked in past reception. Cynthia was on the phone helping someone, so I didn't say hi but I waited for her to look up and at least smile at me. We greeted each other every morning, we were really close after working together for so many years.

Completely ignored again. But, she was busy on the phone so whatever. I sat down at my desk and began working.

Hours passed by and I decided I needed a smoke break. I grabbed my purse and walked up to reception.

"I'm going out for a smoke Cynthia, wanna join?"

She didn't answer and I stared at her for what felt like forever.

Is she mad at me or something?

"Okay I don't know what the hell I did for you to be mad." I walked off before she could respond because now i'm mad.

It was snowing pretty hard now, I lit my cigarette and watched the snow fall from the sky. I shivered as I inhaled, then threw the end of the cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.

I picked my foot up and stared at the ground. I stomped on it again. Why it my cigarette not going out? I'm not even leaving a mark in the little snow that was on the ground.

Someone was walking up to the building, I recognized the lady from one of the offices down stairs. I stomped on the cigarette really hard as she walked passed. Still nothing, and even after an extremely dramatic stomp and noise, it didn't even seem like she noticed that I was there.

So far the only person who noticed me today was the weird guy across the street. I decided to go back up stairs into the office and I stood at Cynthia's desk.

"Okay, can we please talk? My days getting kind of weird and I'm sorry for whatever your mad about."

She just kept typing contently, it was almost like she couldn't even hear me speaking. So I said louder "HELLLLLOOO"

And nothing. I waved my hand in front of her face, and she didn't even flinch. I ran over to each desk around the office trying to talk to everyone, trying to get noticed. Not one person looked up at me.

This had to be a joke. So I went to the front of the office and I said okay everyone, jokes over seriously. As I stood there I realized not everyone could've pulled that off as good as they all did.

I stood frozen, no thoughts or emotion running through me. I felt absolutely blank. I grabbed my coat, scarf and purse, and headed for the door thinking "fuck them and their joke."

As I walked to my car I realized no one I passed was noticing me. I decided to call my mom at the hospital, I was starting to feel a little insane and she always knew how to talk sense into me.

She picked up and said hello,

"Hi mom I miss you, I'm leaving work and i'm gonna come see you today. I'll be there soon"

She said "hello?" again.

"mom?"

"hello, any one there?"

"MOM" and the line went dead. I hit my head on the wheel of my car. I sat there for a good few minutes because I was so frustrated.

I headed out of the parking lot to drive to the hospital. When I got there, I walked passed the front desk, no one noticed me. As I walked down multiple different hallways to her room, none of the nurses or doctors acknowledged me. The nurses and doctors say hi or smile at everyone who walks down the hallway.

I just don’t understand what is going on today. I felt my body slump down in sadness as I sped faster down the halls. My mind won’t stop thinking about what is going on today. 

It’s even weirder that my boss hasn’t called me about leaving work early. Surely he would’ve called me by now wondering where I went…

I get to my moms room and throw back her curtain, and noones in the room. It’s completely empty. 

I run into the hallway to check that i’m in the right room. I am. 

I go to the front desk and ask for my mother. The nurse behind the counter, sitting on her phone, doesn’t even look up me. 

I sink a little deeper in sadness. Something is clearly very wrong.

I ran room to room searching for my mom. I even tried calling her again, but every time she answered she couldn’t hear me trying to talk to her.

After about an hour of searching, I went back to my car and texted my dad, but it kept saying it was undelivered. 

I drove slowly back to my house. By now it was snowing hard. I pulled into my driveway and got out of my car, when I got to the door I realized I forgot my purse so I went back to grab it. 

How is this possible.

How am I not leaving any marks in the snow. I stomp around and check my work. Still nothing. 

Confused out of my mind, I sit down and start crying. I was balling my eyes out as the snow piled on me in layers. I heard feet crunching in the snow walking towards me, I look up and it’s the guy that lives across the street. 

He stops when he gets to me and puts his hand out to help me up. Surprised out of my mind, I let him help me, and ask him “you see me?”

He calmly replies “I do, yes.”

I dust the snow off my pants and jacket. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but no one has seen me all day. I’ve tried talking to different people, and waved my hands obnoxiously in their faces and still no one saw me.” I sighed, “this is going to sound even crazier than that.”

I looked down. “I can’t see the marks my feet leave in the snow. Please tell me I'm just crazy or dreaming. Yes, please tell me i’m dreaming and i’m going to wake up in my bed, righhht now.” and I blinked really hard. 

The guy gave me a frown and said “I’m Mack, do you not know what happened?” and he got really serious. 

“Know what happened?”

“I don’t know how to say this, but you passed away in a car accident. I’m the only one who can see you because I can communicate with the other side.”

The sensation of feeling the wholeness of my being went instantly away. I all of a sudden felt thin and fleeting. Everything that happened through the day made complete sense now. I was gone. Forever.