Obsession

I was never one to do resolutions. All you hear at the start is how someone wants to do this more but by the time it's December again they haven't done it but still they proceed to make another. It's really quite annoying hearing people talk about it all the time. I'm at my friends party and they start saying what they're resolutions are. "Hey Zoe what are your resolutions?" "Bailey you know I don't do that stuff." Another friend jumps in "Aw come on Zoe just one." Bailey sure are the duo that get things done. I roll my eyes at them before closing and thinking. Once I came up with a resolution I opened my eyes. Both Sam and Bailey were staring at me waiting for me to say. "So? Did you think of one yet?" Bailey asked me waiting anxiously. I'm usually stubborn as hell so either today I'm feeling nice or I've had one too many drinks at the party. I smile and say "My new year's resolution is to travel as many places as possible." As soon as I say it a feeling washes over me. Like some sort of desire to do it but a laziness as well. Like I want to but I just don"t have the energy to do so. I knew immediately what happened. I have been pulled into the endless addictive loop of New years resolutions and now there is nothing I can do to stop myself. The year went by with the constant thought of "Oh don't forget about your resolution!" my brain would tell me but my body on the other hand would not compel to do so. Every time I heard the little voice saying travel I went to go do it but some will power in my body stopped me from going to do it every time. It was nearing new years again and I started to feel this slight tinge of sadness every now and then but I couldn't figure out why until I went out with my friends. "Hey guys what's up?" Sam looked at me sadly for a second before perking up. "Not much but I didn't complete my new years resolution about eating healthier so that sucks." Only then did I realize that those occasional few moments of sadness were because I never finished my resolution. It's not like I didn't try to though I just didn't. I started to think ahead of time abut new possible resolutions for next year as well because ever since I made that first wish. That promise that I would never complete I wound up in this obsessive addicting never ending loop that from now on I will be stuck in for. But I can't wait to make even more resolutions for next year!