Is It Better To Be Late Than Never?

BZZZ. BZZZ.

BZZZ. BZZZ.

“Tom,” Anne mumbles as she elbows my shoulder blade. “Tom, turn your alarm off.”

BZZZ. BZZZ.

BZZZ. BZZZ.

BZZZ. BZZZ.

“TOM!” She shouts, jolting me awake. She grumbles something as I reach for my phone that is about to vibrate itself off of the nightstand.

 I run a hand down my face and notice the time. “Shoot.” I told my daughter that I would try to cuss less. I toss the covers off of my legs and sprint to the bathroom. Today I have an interview at a local university for the Head Librarian position. I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but now that I’m already 10 minutes behind - I don’t know if I’ll even make it to the interview. Hell, they may turn me away at the door for wasting their time.

Stop it. I shake the negative thoughts out of my mind and focus on the bread that is cooking way too slow in the toaster. It finally pops up and I snatch it as I run out to the truck. Tom Archer is normally never late for anything so why am I starting now? The most important day of my life where I have the job interview of my dreams. It’s like I’m trying to sabotage myself or something.

I practically drift into a parking spot and jump out of the truck, barely grabbing the keys from the ignition in time. I take one step without looking and my foot hits a curb that I didn’t notice. The last bite of my bread falls to the ground and my coffee tips back onto my chest, luckily I chose iced coffee today so it wasn't hot. Unluckily, I chose to wear my nicest white button up shirt that I owned. The stain was set in before I could even let out a curse.

I throw the plastic Starbucks cup at the ground and groan. “WHY?” I shout into the air at no one in particular. I guess my outburst scared a nearby mom with her child because she quickly ushered her daughter towards the library quicker. Deep breath. I hear Anne’s voice in my mind. You control the outcome, so make the best of it.

Back seat. I remember throwing some shirts back here that Dan gave me the other day. Maybe there’s one that can pass as an undershirt for my jacket. I grab the bunched up shirts and one-by-one shake the wrinkles away. My hope for a nice shirt quickly dwindles when I see the first shirt. A very risqué pinup girl with the quote “I’ll Be Your Daddy” written in bold white font. I don’t think the interviewers would want to see a woman’s a- I mean, woman’s butt on my shirt. Maybe I should’ve checked before I told Dan I’d take these shirts. The next shirt had Sonic in his famous pose and just says BALLS underneath him. Where did he even get this one? I can already see the last shirt is out of the running because I can see a woman’s nipple staring back at me while it lays bunched up in the seat.

“God, I wish I didn’t tell Fanny that I wouldn’t cuss.” I close my eyes and sigh. Sonic it is, I guess.

I double check my reflection, making sure you can’t see Sonic’s blue fur under my coat, then jog inside. The woman at the front desk must recognize me because she frowns when I give her my best apologetic smile. “Tom Archer,” I lean forward on the desk, trying to catch my breath. “I have an interview for the Head Librarian position.”

She stares at me, then presses a button on her phone. “Tom Archer is here for his interview that was supposed to start 25 minutes ago.” I can basically taste the passive aggression as she smiles sweetly at me, then nods. “Have a seat over there.”

The cat clock on the wall taunts me with its ticks and tocks. I count 120 ticks before the door next to the front desk swings open and a woman that looks about Anne’s age steps out. She glances around the library until her eyes land on me, sonic shirt and all. Luckily this jacket covers him just enough so she won’t even notice.

“Tom Archer?” She asks me. I nod in response. “Follow me.” I gather by briefcase and follow her through the door and into the back office where an old woman is sitting. She’s typing furiously on her iPad keyboard with a frown.

Time to plead my case. “I apologize for being so late. Normally I’m much better at sticking to my schedule but then I slept through alarms and-”

“Look, Mr. Archer,” She interrupts me sternly. My lips tighten in a line as I wait for her next words. “I understand we all have our days, no need for excuses. We have a few interviews to get through today. Let’s get started.”

The woman typing on her iPad finally stops and looks up to me. “Mr. Archer, I’m Patricia Watts. I’m the current Head Librarian. This is our Assistant Librarian, Yani Mandel. It’s nice to finally get to sit and chat with you.” I don’t know if she meant for that “finally” to sting, but it does.

“We each have a few questions that we’d like to ask. Answer them honestly and we can get through this quickly. How do you-” Yani’s words cut-off and her eyes widen as they look at my chest. She clears her throat and glances at Patricia, who is now staring at me with tension in her brows.

After a moment of silence, Patricia stands to her feet. “Mr. Archer, I don’t know how your past employers expected you to dress, but that shirt is very inappropriate and we will not tolerate that. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but this on top of your tardiness is really disappointing. I think you should leave, sir.”

I glance down at my shirt and notice the button had come undone sometime between me walking away from the truck and now. “Oh god, no. No, I know this looks awful, but I spilled coffee on my shirt right before I came in and I know BALLS isn’t appropriate. It was between this, a naked pinup girl and nipples. I honestly chose the best option, if anything-”

She holds her hand up in front of her. “That is enough,” Patricia walks to the door of the office and holds it open. “You may leave now.”

Remind me to never wake up late again…

Or accept t-shirts from Dan.