A Father's Nightmare

One ignorant and musty afternoon in Hygiene Colorado. In the torturing sun on Saturday that is charbroiling everyone including nine-year-old well-behaved twin boys Timmy and Tommy Carr, twenty-five feet up in their tree house.

Both twins are sitting at their incredible hulk table they found in their neighbors back yard. While sitting at the table they are eating big sticks and counting loads of cash.

“What do you think we should do for the rest of the day Timmy, beside counting all this cash those nice guys were giving away. They also were trying to share with the police right behind them. I was thinking tonight we should have date night”.

Timmy retrieves his orange and red tongue from his ice cream while giving Tommy the eagle eyes.

“That’s interesting you would say that. I was just thinking of Heather. I would love to show her our lovely establishment. And since she is smart ask her what is this new game called tea bagged. I heard mom on the phone telling Janet she got tea bagged by James. Dads first name is Donald. Maybe James is his nick name”.

Tommy wipes ice cream from his face with a hundred dollar.

“Heather, bad breath Heather. Dude, I held her hand last year. She was totally mine first. But you can talk to her I guess. She is fine, like Rihanna fine, but I cannot have an intelligent convo, with someone with horrible breath like moms. Well I take that back, moms breath freaking stinks, so Heather’s breath isn’t that bad”.

Timmy bites into his ice cream quickly holding his forehead.

“Darn brain freeze. Or how about we call up the fellas, we can play some poker”.

Tommy shakes his head.

“We can’t play poker anymore. That is how Tyrone bent both of his knees backwards. You remember the last hand of the night he lost his mother watch. He did not want to give it up and forgot we are twenty-five feet in the air and jumped off the treehouse”.

Timmy laughs.

“Yea, that was stupid. How about we have another firework show for this glorious neighborhood to see. We should not invite Danny; he was the one that lit the firework that burn down Mrs. Johnson’s house. Mr. Johnson and Mrs. Johnson’s sister had to get out of their in a hurry. They ran out the house without their clothes on. I guess that what you do when there is a fire, take your clothes off”.

Tommy eats the last piece of his Ice cream and sets the wrapper on the table.

“I think their clothes caught on fire and they didn’t have time to get them some clean ones. Mrs. Johnson got so mad about the house she shot her husband and sister. Anyways, Amanda next door, said she would pay us again to let her rent out our treehouse. But last time it smelled so bad in here I vomited. I do not know what she was doing, I counted seven guys only staying an hour at a time. Timmy you were the lucky one, she left you seven balloons to play with, and they all had melted white chocolate inside".

Timmy scratches his forehead.

“Hey, those balloons were busted. The water would not stay in those balloons, and I am allergic to chocolate. So, I put it on dad’s cake he wrapped up for work. I made it extra sweet for him”.

Tommy shrugs his shoulders.

"That was nice of you. We do gotta start giving more. So, we do not need Amanda right now. We have a lot of money, a lot of dead presidents”.

Timmy sets his big stick on the table. He lays on the floor full of cash and starts to make a cash angel.

“Naw, we don’t her money. I do not feel like leasing out our treehouse. We can have movie night; we can watch the new Spiderman. Or You or I should at least be the one to pick out the movies. Because the movie Jerry brought of his celebrity sister was boring. There was no action. Who the hell makes a movie about being in bed all day? But it was an incredibly sad movie, all the guys were beating her up. I am surprised the police was not called with all that screaming she were doing”.

Tommy joins his brother on the floor.

“What ever we think of doing, I’m going to invite Cousin Larry? He showed us a cool game to play last time he was up here. Russian roulette, it looked intense. He almost lost the game and caught the bullet, but whoever through that ball and hit him in the face helped him win the game. I really love this treehouse. I will never leave it. Who needs a house when you have your own treehouse?”.

Timmy lays still staring at the roof mural of his entire family, him and Tommy did.

“I concur with you brother. I too will live here forever. This treehouse has so many memories. OMG! You remember when the guy was hiding in here from his wife for four days. Or how about when mom was hiding from dad for two weeks in here. And the whole time he was cheating, she was watching”.

Tommy turns to Timmy.

“I remember that, and after that, dad had to sleep in here for a month. He messed up our treehouse and we had to build a new one. There were bodily fluids everywhere. Dad smelled like cow poop. Still not worse than mother’s breath, but still inhumanly bad. I did not hug him for months. You know what, if I can remember. I believe I seen Mom up here with Uncle Mike, Dad’s brother”.

Timmy sits up and snaps his left thumb.

“I do remember that. That was at night, I remember, it was a full moon. Uncle Mike and mom was howling at the moon. They were turning into werewolves, their clothes were off, but I guess they quickly turn to human form. Mom has been up here a lot of nights with different People, a lot people, A lot of men”.

Mr. Donald Carr quickly awakens in a panic breathing desperately hard for oxygen on the couch drench in sweat. His eyes widen and he glances at Timmy and Tommy and his wife. Mr. Carr face expression grows wicked and vicious.

“Timmy and Tommy, never in your natural born life should you ask me to build a club house! Or build you guys an apartment! House, or even a shack! And for damn sure you bet not ask me to build yawl a dang TREEHOUSE! Never! Never! Matter of fact you two are living with me and your mother forever!”.