A Really Truly Valentine's Story

A REALLY TRULY VALENTINE'S STORY

BY JOAN HARRIS

They have been married five times. FIVE TIMES? you say. Yup. Five times - but always to each other. The first was in December, 1959. She was still a teenager, he not much more, the second was on the event of their twenty-fifth anniversary. The third took place in the remarkable setting of the Vatican where their son was to be married the following day. The priest asked the couple, "Would you like to repeat your vows in this remarkable place?" "Of course!" The fourth was almost expected on the occasion of their fiftieth anniversary. The fifth time, with all their children, in-law children and thirteen grandchildren, they repeated their vows to a priest friend on their sixtieth anniversary.

The husband was heard to say, "I think I got it right this time."

The beginning of this remarkable love affair was not particularly promising. Each of them had grown up in the middle of the troubled marriages of their own parents, not a good background for creating your own successful relationship. Neither possessed anything similar to financial stability. They were from different parts of the country, different religions and were needing and wanting to advanced their educations. The first years they lived more than a thousand miles from the emotional support of either family or the friends they had known since childhood.

From the beginning, they determined this was not to be a practice marriage. They were in it for the long run. There would be no second chances. They soon stumbled into just a few rules they created for themselves. Neither enjoyed arguments. There would be the inevitable disagreements, but they did not have to lead into arguments. It has to be considered, 'what do I win if I prevail in this argument?' and additionally, 'what might I lose?' They also agreed on their own version of a veto. Either spouse would be able to call out the "Veto" to some plan the other wanted to follow. It would be accepted. There was the understanding that vetoes should be used with significant thought and exceeding infrequency. In over sixty-one years, the veto privilege has been executed one time.

They were blessed (they considered it to be a blessing most times, most days) with four sons who over time became highly educated successful men who today are building their own families and remarkable marriages.

Life has been good for the couple but there also have been significant challenges. Their third son nearly died at birth. Both husband and wife endured battles with cancer. They were there throughout with and for each other.

In reflecting on this lovely history, both recognize that in addition to commitment and some hard work, they occasionally have been gifted with what they call extreme good fortune or in the vernacular 'dumb luck'.

Their first date was set up by her mother and his older sister who were friends. Numerous times over the years they have asked themselves, "Who in the world goes on a date their mother/sister arranges?"

Soon into the new marriage, he received an offer to teach in Florida. To the young, inexperienced, unsophisticated couple, that appeared to be a pathway the the pinnacle of glamour and possibilities. They struck out with a very modest amount of cash, a ten-week-old puppy prone to car sickness and their dreams. Two days of travel later, they pulled into Reddick, Florida, location of North Marion High School, site of glamour job offer.

Whoops! The sign coming into town read: 187 residents. The sign created a gasp or two from each of them. Glamour might be a more distant possibility than expected. But no turning back. He was due to begin teaching that very day. He was delivered to his assignment and she and puppy took off on an apartment search. Complicating the difficulties of the day was the soon found awareness that all the locals spoke a quite different version of the English language. Happily, they spoke it so s-l-o-w-l-y that with intense concentration, enough syllables could be determined to guess with some accuracy the message being imparted.

The unexpected reality of Reddick morphed into one of those dumb-luck opportunities. She, eventually, landed a minimal paying job and soon they acquired state residency. The University of Florida School of Law was a twenty-minute trip up Highway 441. Law School had always been his dream. She encouraged him to enroll thinking she would be able to provide a minimal living for the two of them. So, with no GI Bill and neither family able to offer financial support, a new dream began. They slogged through those years together.

At the end of six semesters, he was sitting in an unoccupied classroom preparing for his last final exam. The door opened and a tall, distinguished looking elderly man walked in. He was seeking a new associate for his Titusville law firm. After a lengthy conversation, the husband agreed to meet with the partners of this fascinating and unexpected new ally. Right time - right place.

Some years later with his support, she returned to school and earned her degrees. A week before graduation, with a major in English Literature, she was in the chairman's office and read an announcement on the board. The Atlantic Center for the Arts scheduled a month-long workshop for those interested in teaching English. Without reading all the fine print, she applied and received a place. Only upon connecting with the other recipients did she realize that each of the others possessed a doctorate degree and chaired a university drama program. Surely, someone had to back out which ended up giving the much less qualified candidate the break. She found herself right place - right time.

Today, the couple can be identified as considerably older. They experience some of the maladies of their years. Two weeks ago, he fell and injured his left hand. His three middle fingers were painful and significantly swollen. In the emergency room, his wedding ring was filed off. It was the first and only time in 22,295 days the ring had left his finger. The ring will be repaired when the swelling ends.

The wife has a demand that the husband groans over. On the infrequent occasions that Elvis can be heard singing "Can't Help Falling in Love with You", they are required to dance.

"Take my hand. Take my whole life too."

And they did.

You may ask, "How do you know so much about this couple?"

The answer: the husband of this tale is mine.