Like a thief in the night

“I’m here.”

“The key is under the welcome mat. The alarm is off and Ruben is at the kennel. Should be no issue getting inside.”

“Neighbors?”

“Out of town”

“What time does John arrive home?”

“He’s working late then going to the gym. You have time.”

“ For your sake, you best be right. I’m not looking to go back in the pen for some petty crime bullshit.”

“Just get the file off the computer, easy.”

“Easy, then why haven’t you done it yourself.”

“You know why.”

“Yeah, we know , we know”

“Are you in yet?”

“Yes.”

“The office is down the hall and to the left. Don’t turn on the lights.”

“I’m not a fucking amateur… Shit!”

“What is it, what happened?”

“Nothing, just some asshole left boots lying in the middle of the hallway.”

“John isn’t the best housekeeper.”

“Really, you don’t -”

“He keeps his other laptop in the third drawer.”

“Got a problem.”

“What?”

“It’s locked. Got a key?”

“No, but he’s not that creative. Look around the desk, it’s gotta be around somewhere.”

“Gum wrappers, crumpled post-its, pile of receipts…This guy is a hoarder.”

“I know, but he’s the only way in.”

“Yeah, so you’ve said. Listen, the boss doesn’t take kindly to liars.”

“ No lies, this is legit.”

“ Your funeral.”

“You’re a funny guy, you know that. Now, shut up and find the key. I said you had time but let’s not chance it.”

“Seems to me , I’m taking all the chances.”

“ Once you find what we need, I’ll give credit where credit is due.”

“Think I found something.”

“Is it the key? Does it work?”

“Got it, but we have another problem.”

“What problem? Just open the laptop and find the file listed as hobby.”

“ There is no laptop. Drawer is empty.”

“Shit! He must have it. Why on earth would he take that shit to work with him?”

“Think he’s on to you?”

“Nah, I’m the least of his worries.”

“Better think of another way , Boss isn’t a patient guy.”

“I know, I know . Just give me a minute to think. Shit, this was the best way.”

“We don’t have a minute. We got company.”

“No, can’t be John he’s still at work.”

“Sure about that?”

“Positive, his tracker says he’s sitting at his shitty cubicle as we speak.”

“We’re good. False alarm, just some idiot lost and used the driveway to turn around.”

“Fuck man, you had me worried. Look, here’s what you’re going to do. First, need you to lock the door then break a window. I’ll arm the alarm. He’ll get the call and come home. Wait him out, when you seize the opportunity get the laptop.”

“I could just kill him.”

“No! You can’t just kill him, what are you talking about. Just , stick to the plan. Hide, get the laptop, find the file and get out.”

“Never good at hiding, but I’ll see what I can do. The door is locked, ready for the broken window say when.”

“When.”

“ Ah hell!”

“What happened?” 

“Cut my fucking hand.”

“You wearing gloves? Can’t just be leaving blood all over the place. That’s how people get caught asshole!”

“I’m not an amateur. Of course, I have gloves on. Been doing this longer than you’ve been alive you snot nosed Yuppie. Just keep your trap shut- ”

“Shit the alarm didn’t go off.”

“What a damn surprise, another problem.”

“Just a sec, I need to shut off the power and reset it.”

“Stop fucking telling me and just do it!”

“Alright, get ready to cover your ears. Three , Two, One..”

“Aw fuck that’s loud!”

“Hide, Hide, Hide!”

“Turn that shit off!”

“ I can’t , John needs to be notified! ”

“Hurry up! I’m going fucking deaf here!”

“ Hold on-”

“You hold on , you asshole! Alarm is blaring through my fucking ear drums. When I get ahold of you, no-one will recognize you. I’m going to take my fucking time. My knife will dull and need sharpening between brakes!”

“Alright, John is on the move.”

“Shut it off!”

“The company will in , three , two , one..”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Don’t forget to hide.”

“I’m in the closet already. Ran in here after the alarm went off.”

“John is enroute.”

“Fantastic.”

“ Boss is calling , going to join him on the call.”

“Boys we have the file yet?”

“Not yet Boss.”

“What’s the hold up?”

“This entire operation is a total fuckup. This Yuppie has us chasing our tails, he’s a fucking liar-”

“I’m not lying! The file exists. How was I to know he would bring the laptop with him.”

“He’s been your mark for months!”

“Gentlemen, Gentlemen, enough. I want that file Yuppie and my guy is the best. No-one better to lift sensitive material than him. Guide him best you can and let him do his job.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Good, talk to you boys soon.”

“You are such an asshole, Yuppie.”

“Me? You’re the one trying to get me killed!”

“Oh, I’m not trying. I’m going to kill you.”

“You’ll forget all about maiming me when you get that file.”

“Not maim, kill. As in murder.”

“Yeah , well that will have to wait because John has arrived.”

“I’ll just kill him-” 

“No, just be patient! He’s in the house. Remember the plan, wait him out. Once you see an opportunity take it. We can’t leave here without the file. I don’t know how I ever got tied up in this. I mean you get a little behind in your bets and next thing you know your babysitting some asswipe for the Boss and breaching intel. The file is there, I know it is.”

“He just went in the bathroom and the shower is kicked on. I’m taking my shot.”

“Don’t kill him! Wait! Shit,I’m a dead man if we don’t get that file. I have a sure thing in play about to make a huge pay off, this can’t be the end for me.”

“ Got the laptop. Looking for the file now.”

“It’s named hobby.”

“Go it. Transferring. 30 %…50%…75%…90% …100%. We got it, in the clear, Yuppie.”

“Oh, thank you , thank you , thank you.”

“Don’t thank me , I’m still leaning towards killing you . More importantly, I need to get this file to the Boss who will be pleased to own hard evidence against this freak. Good, job Yuppie, you may just live after all. I suggest you no longer take bets. Hell, get out of the game altogether or else the Boss may find more work for you and if you don’t deliver next time… I’ll see you at the funeral. Good bye , for now.”

“Wait, wait! Don’t hang up!”

“Awe Yuppie, gonna miss me? Don’t sweat it kid-”

“What was that? Sounded like a gunshot. Did you shoot him? What’s going on! Talk to me!”

“Hello, Charlie.”

“Hello, John.”