You're Doing It

Suitcase in hand, you head to the station. Finally, after all these years, you were finally taking the leap and leaving. No more wallowing in wonder and daydreams. No longer having to listen to older folks and friends insist that you check out what life was like on the other side with a forlorn heart and a smiling mouth but sad eyes. No. You were doing this and you’re doing it now.

 Gone were the days where you would have to embarrassingly confide in others on how much you wanted to leave and experience somewhere else. To go far away and meet a society that had different values and beliefs. To eat food that wasn’t a cheap, local imitation of what people ate across the globe. Your head fills with the excitement of being able to see, up close and personal, the houses, buildings, and fashion that you and your friends had only seen in photographs taken by people who had stood where you were about to be standing. A overflow of happiness escapes in the form of a laughter you are unable to stifle in the slightest, but you don’t care. Let the folks around you see you laugh in utter joy.

 A small parasite of thoughts tries to creep up in your mind. Like an annoying gnat that won’t leave you alone no matter how many times you swat at it, the hint of unhappiness worms its way to the forefront of your thoughts. What if I get lost and no one understands me when I ask them where I am? What if I’m beaten and left behind with my things stolen? What if something happens back here while I’m away? How will I get back? A sickening voice speaks into your ear from somewhere in your head. The same voice and reason that you’ve allowed to take over whenever similar opportunities arose.

 Missing out on relationships, jobs, dreams, adventures. The same ill thoughts that are always brought up when talking to the same older individuals who never jumped the gun to do what they always wanted. The same lines consistently used, utilizing that harsh little worse “but”. You’d heard them you’re whole life, “Oh, I wanted to BUT never found the time,” or “I was going to, BUT I had just gotten married and had a kid,” or “Yeah, I could’ve gone and done that BUT I couldn’t afford it.” Always someone wanted to go, using that awful three letter excuse to reason why they never went. Deep down, you knew it was just fear that kept everyone in their comfort zone.

 Not you, though. You refused to stay put and allow such a trivial little thing as fear dominate you anymore. You refused to be one of those sad people who would lie on their deathbed, regretting all the risks they never took and the experiences they missed out on. In reality that was your biggest fear.

 You slightly smile to yourself again as you switch the suitcase to your other hand to enter the station. Really, the fear of an unfulfilled life because of fear. It was funny to acknowledge, you think.

 “Name and ticket confirmation, please,” a sad man working the check-in desk wheezes out. You tell him your name and give him the confirmation as his eyes lazily search the files for your name and ticket number. He hands you a ticket without even looking up to say, “Have a nice trip,” almost sarcastically. You excitedly rip it from his hand and head on your way, leaving your suitcase behind to be loaded by someone else. What a sad person, you think to yourself, to have to deal with all those people going somewhere while you sit at the same desk in the same building of the same town each and every day.

 A hint of a frown weighs down at the corners of your mouth as you think more about the person. Thinning hairline, no wedding ring, and the look on his face like he hadn’t smiled in years. A sad existence. He wasn’t living, he was merely waking up each morning and existing. Someone like that had no memories, nothing to brag about, or nothing to sit back and smile about when remembering good times. The only thing to look forward to was the fact that one day he’d retire and exist somewhere else. You suppose it had to happen to someone, just not you. No, this was the beginning of a new you.

 You get through security quickly. Watching the people who never did deal with the ones who were doing. Haggard faces on the workers as they must contain the ones with smiles, ready to embark on their new journeys. Lethargic hands wave you forward accompanied by equally dull voices tell you to stand still or move on. A final voice tells you ploddingly to have a good day and that part is over.

 Nothing left now, but to wait to board from the gate and to wait for the destination once aboard. Its really happening. You’re going. The feeling of the gate is electric as the waiting passengers all sit or fidget around in anticipation of leaving. You can’t help yourself. You fidget around also, the excitement is too much to contain as your hands start to shake out of power to stop. Your knee jumps up and down as your foot taps like an out of control metronome. The ill feelings are gone. No more anxiety telling you what you don’t want to think about. There is only jubilation in your heart and head, sending currents throughout your whole body. Sure you will not know anybody there and nothing would be familiar, but that didn’t matter. How else does one meet new friends and become more cultured unless being dropped into an entirely new area?

 The time finally comes. You board and find an open seat in an empty aisle. Right next to the window so you can watch as the land changes from what you know to what you don’t.

 “Excuse me,” a tiny voice asks nervously, “May I sit here?” you turn to find A pretty girl with dark hair and big blue eyes standing over the seat next to you. You tell her to go ahead, the seat isn’t saved for anyone. The two of you strike up conversation to pass the time of the long journey. Its her first time leaving the country as well and she’s anxious. Its discovered that you are staying at the hotel and make plans to travel around the area together to be able to share the excitement with someone else.

 A flash of joy flies through your body. This vacation is already becoming what you wanted and more. What was once just a silly little daydream was swiftly turning into an unbelievable reality, far exceeding your expectations. And the plane ride was barely even started. You continue to talk to the girl, whose name is Maria, and confide similar emotions and reasons why you each decided to travel.

 Soon, dark oceans turn to land, tiny white and amber lights dotting otherwise black fields. Just a few more moments and the wheels would strike ground with a sharp rumble before taxiing to the departing gate and you would officially be walking on foreign soil with a new friend already by your side.