A Window's Awakening

Selena stared at the clock on her bedroom wall, using the flashlight of her phone as an assistive device. The clock’s hands, like a killer pointing their knife at their victim, indicated what time it was, affirming that she had been awake for the past three hours. 01:58am. The sleeping pills, which had been prescribed by her psychiatrist more than a week ago, had themselves proven to be ineffective as Selena assessed her very awoken state. The party across the street which was still going (and perhaps only really getting started then), had its music echoing almost in validation that she was not the only human being awake at that very moment. With a few cracks of the neck and one colossal sigh, Selena sat up and then proceeded to get out of bed. She grabbed her gown from her velvet-coated armchair, which served as the ‘hanger’ to items that did not find their way back to her wardrobe. Selena was determined to make a pot of chamomile tea.

. . .

Just as she reached the door of her bedroom, still clutching her lit phone in one hand, the abrupt sound of a siren broke the tension in the room and evoked in Selena a sense of both novelty and astonishment. Selena glanced between the window and her fistful of doorknob for a contemplative second, before letting go of the knob and stepping toward the window. The blinds were a reliable armor that shielded her room from any light source on the outside – sound was a different story, of course. As she drew the blinds, she could tell by the fading noise that the ambulance had passed and already achieved a distance from the apartment in which she lived. The moon lit up the street below. There were several cars parked outside her apartment building as well as across the street from her. Selena was reminded about the party and, almost simultaneously, did the music sound exceptionally loud. The street was an aisle of apartments with their own shrubs and trees creating those cottage-core aesthetics one would find while scrolling through tik-tok.

Selena had heard about the party as her roommate, Robin, was in attendance “on both their behalf”. I wonder if Robin had heard the ambulance, Selena thought to herself. At that moment, the curtains of an apartment room directly across Selena opened and the light seeping from the arched window was being obstructed by a figure – the figure of a man. From what she could make out, he was tall, and considering his silhouette, he was also dark. Whether he was handsome was still up for debate. The man in the window stood still, then he raised his arm. He was waving. Not just that, but he was waving at her. Selena slowly raised her hand but could not bring herself to wave. Then, just as suddenly as he appeared, the strange man was gone. Selena stood there a moment longer thinking over what had just occurred, then silently closed the window and the blinds. Forgetting about the tea, she retreated back to bed and made a pact with herself that she would wave at the man if he appeared tomorrow. He did not.

A few days had passed, four to be exact, without an inkling of the man in the window. Was he but a figment of her imagination? The frustration that Selena felt every night she peeped out the window only to be met by the man’s absence was so all-consuming that it surprised her, but it did not stop her from continuing her midnight ritual. Owing to both her chronic insomnia and her independence as a college student who did not have to attend class, Selena stayed up all night until sunrise and slept in until the late afternoon. She caught up with work in between. Having noticed how much more frequently Selena had been staying in her room, Robin addressed the elephant in the room which was the fact that Selena was always in her room. Making up a story that she had a project she was working on, Selena dismissed Robin’s declaration of concern. She did not feel like telling Robin about the man, pleased by the idea that there was something she did not have to share with her roommate. After the fifth night, Selena was reading a book while balanced on the heap of clothes that were balancing themselves on the armchair. She noticed a flash of light streaming into her room – it was not coming from her cell phone. She jumped up and waved almost immediately, fervently. He waved back. Selena felt a smile creep up on her face. She held her book up wondering if he could see it. She then reached her arm out into the moonlight such that it poured over her book and to keep her face hidden. He stepped away from the window. Selena’s heart stopped. She was relieved to see the now-familiar figure return holding out what looked like a radio in the moonlight. He was listening to music. She felt connected to this man whose face she did not know. His portrait seemed abnormally large. She tried making out his features, but it was no use. He waved at her, she waved back, and he disappeared again, into the night. The next morning, he was there again! She glanced at her clock; it was exactly 2am. This unspoken arrangement continued for the next few days comprising simply mimetic exchanges. Selena began to wonder about the life behind what she witnessed from a window. What if he was 40 years old? What if he had one eye? No. What if he did not like the way she looked? That was if they were to meet.

. . .

Once again the man was nowhere to be seen. Selena was in inexplicable agony and finally decided to confide in Robin about her crisis. Robin seemed concerned again, and maybe it was within reason. She explained that the host of the party she attended two weeks ago - it had already been two weeks! - told the guests that they need not worry about the noise because the neighbor upstairs had suddenly died from a heart attack the month before and the apartment was now vacant. “But that cannot be,” Selena replied. They both tried to think up a reasonable explanation for what was going on. In the end, Selena just begged Robin not to say anything until she saw the man again if only just to confirm he had been real. Robin would be present and out of sight. 2am had arrived and he was already there. He waved. Selena did not. He stood there for a while and waved again. Selena waved this time, and that was it. Nothing more happened. Robin’s face spoke volumes. Selena felt nauseated, as though she had been an unfaithful spouse. For the first time, she was the first to terminate their meeting as she turned around and went to bed. Robin left the room without a word. Selena did not sleep a wink.

Morning light fell through Selena’s window for the first time in a long while. She had left her blinds drawn. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of the past week’s events. Her thoughts were abrupted. The sound of a siren permeated the air once again. Only this time it was not an ambulance. Selena shot up out of bed and ran to her window, then ran to Robin’s room after she confirmed the presence of not one but two police cars idling across the street. She swung the door open. “You told!” she was yelling at Robin. Robin glanced at her regrettably. They both then proceeded to go downstairs and out of the apartment. As Selena was witnessing the scene in front of her, it was as though she had been yanked from the rabbit hole which led Alice to Wonderland. Robin had told her friend, whose name Selena then learned was Alex, about the strange man and, fearing for his safety, Alex had called the police that morning. The police exited the apartment with random items in hand, but no one to account for them. Selena recognized the radio the man had shown her and could feel her body grow cold. He was real, but now he was gone, maybe forever.

That evening of the same day, Robin found Selena in her room under the covers. Alex had reported back about the man. He had been found a few blocks down from their apartment. He was a middle-aged man who had lost his job in construction and had been rendered homeless. He confessed that he had been squatting in the vacant apartment room of the deceased tenant who he knew as ‘the old lady who used to offer him leftovers’. When asked about Selena, the man had simply stated that the first time they "saw" each other had been pure coincidence. Apparently, he had opened the window for the first time after having broken into the apartment because the room had developed a potent odor from all the food waste he hoarded. He had decided to continue their little affair because he was lonely and it had been 'a refreshing encounter'. Selena did not want to know his name; she did not want something permanent. She realized that these past two weeks in their entirety were filled with her attachment to an ideal world where she had become infatuated with a stranger. Her addiction to escapism from the daily humdrum of her life had become so palpable that even then as Robin was consoling her, whispering sweet nothings, Selena still wished to deny the possibility that the man who was now detained in some jail for a crime was the same man who had been waving at her from just a few feet away just last night. His window would now be barred, Selena thought to herself and felt incapacitated.

Dried of her tears, Selena sat up in her bed. Robin grabbed her hand and led her to the kitchen where they shared a pot of chamomile tea and Robin’s mom’s apple pie. The fantasy Selena had lived was now over. She realized that she had been lonesome all along, just like the man, attempting to find solace in the company of someone she did not know in a world she thought she wanted without ever attempting to know those who were right outside her door and not her window. She was reminded of the Dalai Lama’s saying that ‘sometimes not getting what one wants was a wonderful stroke of luck, courtesy of the man in the window. Selena hoped that the man would be safe and mindfully thanked him for his friendship. Later that night after Robin had fallen asleep in the living room and Selena had covered her friend with a throw blanket, she retreated to bed. She sat up in bed until 2am and actively said a little prayer, asking for new beginnings for both her and the man. She looked out her window and across the street one final time and went back to bed. Within minutes, Selena fell asleep.

~1877 words