The Billionaire and the Fairies.

The Billionaire and the Fairies.

“You’re expending energy in this heat to no avail if you are waving your hand for coolness. Get a fan, or better still, get your gear off and join me and we can frolic. A girl of your charms should use them before you lose them. They’ll not be wasted on me, I’m tantalised already and you’re still dressed.’

I’ve tended to find that delectable girls, or women, come to that, respond to a direct approach, especially if it's from billionaires of which I was a fully paid-up member of that clan. Money isn’t everything, I know, but boy, it can make it appear so at times. However, strangely, I, who knows about 'micro-tells,' didn't detect nary a one with this girl, well, a woman standing at the edge of the pool in which I was currently in.

I’m possibly a little different from most billionaires as I do not have people fawning over me listening to any of my utterances as if I was on the Gethsemane Mount. Yes, I’ve got a guy that comes in to keep me fit and he will let his guard down deliberately sometimes to allow me to get in a few hits. He gets his own back by putting me through the wringer at other times. I also have a nice elderly housekeeper who you could say looks after me like my Mum would do. Apart from that, I’m almost a hermit. But now this woman.

My ‘smart-arse’ remark to her was uncharacteristic of me. Yes, I tend to be direct, but coquettish, no. I should have stuck to an inquiry to ask how she got into my place and who she was waving to as I discerned it wasn’t the heat she was dispelling, but to another woman emerging from the bushes.

Inexplicably, I made a similar ‘smart-arse’ comment to this second woman when I realised that neither of them were women. Well, they were, but somehow, seeing a pair of wings on each of them excites a different part of the body than is usual. My mouth hung open, for I swear fly flew into it to bring me back to a modicum of self-awareness.

I’m an engineer. Appended artificial wings wouldn’t fool me. I leapt to the improbable conclusion that I must be lucid dreaming but dismissed it as I couldn’t push my finger through my hand to test it. No, these were the real thing. Then I became conscious of my nakedness. It’s my home, no one around, why kit up? Yes, of course, I could see now why I should have kitted up.

Water does not only shrink clothing but can have reducing quality to an area of the male anatomy that is prized even above money. Two gorgeous fairies of the feminine kind and I couldn’t step out of my pool to greet them. I was disadvantaged.

It turns out that not only do these full-sized fairies have wings, but they can also read minds, which accounted for the paroxysms of laughter that burst out of them. They even rose off the ground due to the rapid flapping of wings which could have been involuntary on their part, but I didn’t think so, they were here to impress. What for, I had no idea.

I suspect I was bewitched or maybe befairyed, for the prose of a former age fell out of my mouth.

“Delectable damsels, be so kind as to shield your eyes that I may vacate this recreational facility with a modicum of dignity.” 

I ask you, who talks this way? I found out later they were just demonstrating their prowess again to show me what they could do, as well as having a bit of fun with me.

Ameli and Selli, they said their names were, turned their backs and I was able with dignity intact, to emerge from the pool and wrap a robe around me. Feeling more comfortable and my initial shock in abeyance, I cocked my head in the time-honoured mute way of enquiry.

“We are here to ask you for a big financial favour. Do not build your small town and factories on the land you have just bought.”

Far from the former voluble speech inclination, I asked with one word; “Why?”

“Because it’s our home.” 

I mentioned the lack of ‘tells’ previously and their absence with Ameli, the first fairy encountered, but now both she and Selli were exhibiting them in profusion. They were obviously in a more beseeching mode, and I don’t wonder why.

“Beautiful damsels, supplicating yourself before me … hey cut out this grandiloquent speech mode for me, the verbal ostentation will do your entreaties great harm. I desire to converse with you in a more unpretentious manner.” 

Both giggled. “Sorry, we couldn’t resist it. Please continue.”

“It is not I that should continue, do you know how much I’ve spent, and how much more I intend to spend there? One point five billion pounds. Now that won’t drain the bank, but if I don’t spend it after what I had to do to get everything in place will cause a multitude of ulcers to arise in the financial community. So, why should I not go ahead?”

“Because it’s the heart of our fairy kingdom. Our request is that you not only stop with any intention to build but plant a forest there instead, with many glades and brooks to enable us to cavort in the manner that we fairies do.”

Jamie Bind threw his head back and laughed until tears ran down his cheeks. “Ha ha ha …. and I should provide brooks and pools and spaces where you can have orgies as well. Will I get invited to these gambolings and cover myself with fairy dust?

Although Jamie wasn’t a particularly avaricious man, the thought of allocating this much moolah to a bunch of fairies had sobered him very quickly. The unreality of it was such that there indeed existed this branch of lifeform. Previously, he would have scorned and possibly dismissed any adult member of his workforce adhering to this belief immediately. Now, here he was not only accepting their existence whilst sober, but preparing a defence as to why he couldn’t go along with their proposal.

“Do you know how much one and a half billion pounds is? If you laid them out in the old single paper pound notes, I shouldn’t wonder, that it would cover a tenth of the county. I’m betting that I am one of the only humans that has ever seen you outside of children’s picture books, and certainly not two fully sized ones from my standpoint.”

“Of course, there will be a benefit to you in the end. We don’t want you to be financially deprived without recompense, how about being able to live for a thousand years with us and our many sisters for starters. Snorting fairy-dust just gets an orgy underway. You’ve got to realise the ‘Unbowdlerized’ fairy stories were closer to what we get up to every full moon, and sometimes during a totally waned one too. Yes, we have our ‘blue-stockinged’ ancient ones to contend with sometimes. However, the new genetically modified mushrooms will keep these old crones asleep for months.”

It took Jamie Bind ten seconds to grab his phone to dismantle all the previous surveys and plans and to order up the equipment and flora that would make the area safe for the next thousand years.

“Do I get a set of wings too?” Said a trusting multi-billionaire as he felt himself stirring at the thought of month-long orgies with the swinging fairies.