Never Look Back

"Come on, hurry up!" Jack yells once again outside the door.

 It has been a hectic day. Since eight o'clock in the morning, I have had to complete a bunch of tasks - from helping my mom in the kitchen with cooking up so many delicious meals to getting my manicure and pedicure done. My best friend, Leila, has been helping me throughout the day. I really appreciate all she does for me, with the exception of the fact that she really talks a lot. Earlier, when I was getting a new haircut - one of the many tasks on my agenda - Leila would keep directing the hairdresser, as if she did not know what she was doing.

"Look, this is a big day," Leila told the other woman impatiently. "Her hair needs to be --"

"All right, let me do my job here, all right? Your friend will look amazing. However, if you keep talking and distracting me, her hair might end up a mess."

My friend blushed and opened her mouth, then closed it. I did my best to fight back my laughter.

 Now Leila is standing next to me, looking nervously at my eyelashes, at my makeup, at my dress. She checks me out from top to bottom and smiles.

"You are going to be a very beautiful bride!" she exclaims.

 Indeed, this is a big day. The day when I am finally getting married to Jack, the love of my life. He keeps telling me to hurry up because he is so impatient to see me in my wedding dress. Indeed, it is a beautiful dress - white, of course with lots of hearts and stars in the front and a stylish zipper on the back. Leila and my mom had helped me choose it.

"Hey, Emily, are you daydreaming again?" Leila asks me now, distracting me from my thoughts. "It's time to go. You are getting married in less than half an hour."

 We both scream at the top of our lungs and jump up and down. This is something we used to do when we were little kids. I take a deep breath and open the door.

 We all had agreed that the wedding could take place in our garden. It was big enough to fit about a hundred people, and Jack and I did not want a very fancy and large wedding. I now go outside into the beautiful garden, where I can hear people laughing and talking, and Ii can feel the fragrance of roses and barbecue.

"Where is Jack?" I ask nobody in particular, looking around. I can see and recognize everyone in this crowd, but I cannot spot Jack... and my mom.

"You need to chill out," Leila tells me. "It's your wedding. Your and Jack's wedding. He is somewhere around. He will be back before you are able to count to 20."

 I nod thoughtfully and say nothing. Leila, though, knows me too well.

"Is there something else that is bothering you? I'm sure Jack did not get the cold feet and dump you. Come on, Emily, cheer up! You are supposed to have the time of your life today, not frown and make faces!"

 She smooths out her long blond hair. I can see the sparkles in her blue eyes. Leila is a true friend, regardless if she cannot keep her mouth shut or not. She really wants me to be happy.

"It is not that, of course," I say shortly, breaking the short pause during which my friend pulls a non-existent string off her yellow dress. "I am worried for mom."

"Oh come on, we have had this conversation many times --"

"I know, I know. I am sure she is happy for me, but I can also imagine how she feels."

 I sigh and close my eyes. My dad had left mom about 20 years ago. She did not take it well at all. I did not, either, but it was easier for me because I was only five, and I did not understand life that well. I could see my mom destroying her life little by little every day. She would sleep all day long and would not even think about food. Neighbors would come and look after me and her until she started getting herself together.

 Now that I am getting married today, my mom is probably really happy for me, on one hand. But on the other hand, she is probably really sad. She does not have a new partner in her life, and her little girl who grew up will now leave her and live with somebody else.

"Okay, you're getting in that mood again," Leila finally said loud enough for me to get back to reality. "Let's go look for your mom, okay? I'm sure there's nothing wrong. Follow me!"

 I hesitantly look around the garden one more time, then turn around and go after Leila.

 We look into the kitchen, we look into the bathrooms, we look upstairs... There are almost 20 minutes until Jack and I are supposed to get married. But there is no trace neither of my future husband, nor of my mother.

"It's okay, don't lose hope," Leila encourages me. "Let's check out the backyard."

 I shrug. What would they be doing in the backyard? I think I feel dizzy. I stop walking for a minute and realize my friend is a few paces ahead of me. She is going out to the backyard, apparently not noticing that I am not following her. I quickly start walking again and go outside. What I see in my own backyard hits me hard. Leila gasps quietly.

 Jack is kissing my mom... It is not a kiss shared between a son-in-law and his mother-in-law, but... a soft, passionate kiss on the lips.

"MOM?!" I shout at the top of my voice.

 They quickly pull apart, stunned. Jack looks at my mom, and she looks back at him.

"Emmy, I can explain --" my mom begins, but I interrupt.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Sweetheart --" Jack chimes in.

"DO NOT CALL ME SWEETHEART EVER AGAIN! SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?"

"It is not what you think," my mom says softly.

Tears stream down my face like a river. I look at the golden ring on my right hand's ring finger. I take it out and throw it in Jack's face.

"WE'RE DONE! YOU CAN PUT IT ON MY MOM'S FINGER NOW!"

"Please, we can explain," Jack tells me, looking me in the eye.

"I cannot believe you broke my friend's hart on this day," Leila says and spits in Jack's face.

 My friend and I storm back inside my and my mom's house. I sob all the way to the garden.

"My friend, I am so sorry this happened to you..." Leila was saying.

 I do not listen. I do not care. I do not think. I am now back out in the garden, ready to tell everyone that this wedding is canceled. However, when I clap my hands and finally get people's attention, I see the door open and a panting Jack coming out, followed by my mother whose brown hair is now a mess and I can see the color draining from her face.

 Before I can say a word, mom darts to the middle of the garden. Everybody is silent, looking at her, whispering.

"Good evening, dear guests! We have gathered here tonight for my one and only daughter's wedding. I am really happy and excited for her. This is a big day for all of us. Before she changes her mind, I want to say that I am a human and I make mistakes like everyone. Just a couple minutes ago, Emily saw Jack and I kissing in the back yard." My mother turns in my direction. "Emmy, I am so sorry you had to see that. Trust me, between me and Jack there is nothing. There can never be nothing. I am way too old for him. He loves only you. I was the one who kissed him. I feel really lonely without someone to love me. Something came over me and I did it. It was my fault. Jack was so surprised that he could not step back. If you want to be angry with someone, it shall be me. Please, trust me. This is the truth and all who are here heard it."

 Jack stood next to her and looked at me with his hazel, pleading eyes.

"I love only you, Emily. Please, marry me. Don't change your mind because of one small mistake. It will not happen again. I promise, my love."

 He falls on one knee and a long "awwwwww" can be heard from the guests' lips. Leila wings at me. I smile and go next to Jack and my mom. I see the ring twinkling in Jack's hand, take it and put it back on my finger. I hug him and my mom.

"Let's spend a lifetime together. May this lifetime be full of happiness. And mom, I am sure you will be happy with somebody you deserve very soon. Dad made the biggest mistake in his life to leave you."

 My mom starts crying, and I can hear some of the guests sniffling, too. I do not know if I am making a mistake, but time will show. All I know is, everybody makes mistakes, and we have to forgive them and move on, thinking of the future. 'Straight ahead, never look back', I think to myself and hold Jack's hand tightly.