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Creative Nonfiction Funny

Rap tap tap, bang bang, scratch. From inside my house, I hear odd little noises coming from outside my front door. “What in the world is going on out there.” Bang bang scratch“Ugh, ok I’m coming.”

I slowly make my way through the house towards the front door, as I see the sun shining through the window, as the noises grow increasingly louder. I glaze over at the smudged window with cat nose prints on it, and crack a half smile, “ah, spring is in the air,” thinking to myself. I can slightly spy the green grass sprinkled with dandelions poking up from the ground. I push the curtain away at the door there is nothing out there. Peaking out for a few moments, I shrug my shoulders, drop the curtain and head back to the kitchen. 

Rap tap tap, bang bang bang… “Oh, what in the hell.” I march back to the front door, and quickly swing it open as an orange flash of furriness scurries away from the door, swiftly darting under my car, “What in the world, where did you come from?” 

Grabbing my gray hoodie, I slide into my black yard slippers and head outside when I notice a pair of beady little green eyes staring out at me from under my shiny black car. With a Spring chill in the air as I smell the lilacs from a distance kneeling to take a closer look. 

On my hands and knees, I see a scared fluffy orange cat with white stripes on its tail hunkering down under the metal of my car. “Hey little sweetie, where are you from?” This beauty looks the other way as if it’s searching for its next move, such as a clear path to dart away. Tapping the cool grass beneath me with my hands, “Come here sweet baby, I’m not going to hurt you.” Still no movement. I reach out under the car, and it runs across the street and stops, looks back at me, and stares.

“Ok, buddy, have a good day”.

The next day as my morning walking crew and I head out for a morning stroll, I see this orange thing peering out from under the silver hearse parked on the side of my house. “Hi little sweetie, if you’re still here when I get back, I will bring you some food and water.” 

As we are coming back from our walk, this fluffy little ball jumped my fence, out of my yard and headed back under the hearse, where it then decided was home for the next few months. Every day, I would go out and feed and water it, earning its trust, and gaining its security that they were safe. 

Every morning when we would begin our walk, it would get a little closer, but as soon as a hand came down for a greeting, it would scurry away. My daughter, began calling it Skedaddles because it was so skittish when a human was near. 

It cautiously began rubbing up against my legs, but wouldn’t let me touch it. Rap tap tapping, upon my front door, every day, and as soon as I would open it they would run and jump the fence, peering back at me. 

We did this for several months. My cat inside was not impressed. She would sit at the window, hissing and clawing at it, with zero compassion for our newfound furry, homeless friend. 

After a while, I would open the front door, and they would come out from under my Hostas as though it was waiting for me to greet them. I went around asking the neighbors if they knew anything about it. Where it came from, if they fed it, was it a neighbor's cat that ran away? I wanted to make sure they got back home if it was lost. 

A neighbor couple had split up and left the area, and I was informed his name was Joey. He was fed by the neighbors before they left, and I had no other information. This little guy had decided I was his home. Unfortunately, my 15-year-old inside black cat thought differently. You see, little did I know, a few years ago I was sleeping strongly, and heard commotion out front of my house. At first, I thought someone was breaking into my front door. 

Grabbing the wooden baseball bat next to my headboard I hurried out of bed and ran to the front room in confusion. There was nothing there. Then I heard wailing outside the front door, and swung open the door, yelling in hopes to scare the intruder away, and saw a tiny orange fluffy ball of fur scatter to the gate and slip through. Looking down, my black sassy familiar ran back into the house. Upon investigation, she had broken the screen of the window out and kicked the crap out of a kitten. 

It took me a few months to realize, this was that kitten, all grown up. He had lived a life somewhere else but returned a couple of years later to claim his rightful owner. 

Standing like a Lion King, he watched me every day. When the door was closed, he laid on the front mat that says “welcome” and slept. He seemed like he was protecting the home as he chased off all of the woodland creatures that dare enter his new realm. 

I fed him, watered him, and sometimes took him a soft blanket or bed to sleep on when it wasn’t raining. When it was raining, he slept in the wheel well, watching and waiting. 

Rap Tap Tap… bang bang scratch, every day. One afternoon, I decided to leave the door open. He poked his head in, but if you moved, he quickly ran and hid. I repeated this for several days. Leaving my purple front door open through the spring, inviting our new little friend in. 

I was in the back room one day and came out to find him half in and half out of my threshold. “Well, are you gonna come in, or just lay there?” His non-committal half-hearted glance gave me the answer, “When I’m ready lady when I’m ready.”

“Ok when you’re ready.” 

After a couple more months of this, the season began to grow colder. The leaves began to fall, and I could smell the mixture of Fall fragrances in the breeze. “Ah Joey, you’re going to have to come in soon, it’s going to get cold.” He would walk me to my car, then dart off. Never going too far, as when I got home every night from work, he would greet me in the drive and we’d walk together to the house.

During the summer months, my indoor black cat had transitioned over the rainbow. 

My house was quiet and Joey still stood guard outside, every day and every night. It’s as if they both knew. It felt like the changing of the guards. He took his time getting to know me, and she had to vet him in the process. 

The days grew cold and snow began to fall. I opened the door one day and Joey easily slid in as if he belonged there. 

Every day, Joey wanted outside. Rap tap tap…bang bang scratch, but now it came from the inside. “Oh Joseph, I suppose.” “Stay safe and come back home”. Every day, he came home, often bringing me the gifts he caught around the house. He would rub against me, leading me to show off his gift, waiting for his petting. 

We came to an agreement as Joey soon came to realize he had to share this new forever home that he chose, after adopting another sickly kitten that was dumped on the highway, and a high-strung pup I adopted from the shelter. Joey doesn’t mind though, he came to his new home knowing he would stay forever. 

Joseph sleeps on my bed, I’m sure in appreciation, he snuggles with me on my recliner and stays inside with a full belly where it’s safe and warm. He fights and plays with his brother and sister, and lounges in the sunlit, cat-nose-smudged window, protecting and guarding his home that HE chose the rest of his life to love.

March 03, 2023 23:38

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