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Here we are at our high school friend's wedding 

Reception

Where we conjure up images of our days

As rambunctious rascals all hurtling down from

The playground.

Easy on the Eggs 

Is the goofy one

Who brings winter food

To the spring parties

And spring food

To the parties in the winter.

Fall food are for the summer parties

And summer food is for the fall.

Whatever, he quips,

But he presses on,

Claiming he wasn't the only

One who did this.

We roll our eyes and ignore him 

But he still sneaks into our kitchens and

Steals our candy from Halloween.

It doesn't matter.

We take it all back.

We don't care. 

We started ignoring his pies

And cakes and pastries

He made.

He labored over 

Because he brought food the wrong season

The wrong night the wrong day.

The wrongfulness of it all wasn't ignored by 

Easy on the Eggs.

It was ignored by us.

We started bringing the right food

But soon we said that a comedian is never without jokes.

So we laughed at such tales 

Of our friend bringing dumbly wrong foods

Because there's that one person

Who never did anything wrong.

Except at one thing.

We all accepted him.

He passed away

A little awhile ago

But we resurrect his food

And eat it, relishing it and even

Serving it at his funeral.

We didn't care.

We ate the cakes and pastries

And cookies and pizza.

And other winter in summer

And summer in fall 

And fall in spring 

Spring in fall?

Yes, sir.

No matter how hot you are 

You're getting a cup of hot chocolate

Or a snow cone even if your toes have 

Frozen off.

Because that's Easy on the Eggs.

He's everything everywhere 

For all seasons

He's got something. 

He's got something for us

And for you

And for everyone

Who enjoys his hard-earned pies

He sells at winter fairs

And summer fairs

Are selling ice cream

If it doesn't melt

And fall fairs aren't selling apples

And apple pies

And pumpkin pies

But rather watermelon and ice pops

And juicy pineapples.

People never buy anything

But none of that ever stops

Easy on the Eggs.

He sells what he sells.

But let's go to our friend

Who's getting married

Today.

No,

Wait.

It's actually two months later

That she weds a man

Who loves her cooking.

It's pumpkin pie in the fall

And ice pops in the summer

And ice cream in the winter

And blueberry jam in the spring.

Easter in the spring

And Fourth of July in the summer

And Christmas in the Winter

And Halloween in the Fall.

Not candy for Christmas

And Easter Eggs and candy for Fourth of July

And hot dogs for Halloween

And presents for Easter.

This man had no learning disability.

This man was just strange.

I think he was an alien

But I could wrong.

I saw his eyes get all glowing

One night

When he snuck into my bedroom.

He asked me where my candy was

Now that I had dressed up as Spiderman and he as Batman

But that was five months ago.

Candy should've been his middle name

But he disappeared a long time ago.

It was weird.

We didn't know where he was.

We didn't know he was someone else,

Unfamiliar with our ways on earth.

His purple eyes would glow bright purple

But ours wouldn't.

We'd just have green, blue and grey eyes.

He could breathe under water

And go through things.

And hurl onto buildings way up into the distance so far away.

I think he was an alien

But my friends don't believe me.

I laugh it off.

They do when I do an autopsy as I am

A neurosurgeon.

One's a ballerina,

A cook,

A teacher.

They don't use the brain

Half as much as I do,

Or at least,

Care about it.

One uses her legs

Or hands

Or mouth and hands

And legs to get around the classroom.

Not a brain.

But I use my hands and brain and mouth and every other part of my head

To wrap my head around the fact

That Easy on the Eggs

Was that friend.

He knew what was coming

Yet he didn't care.

He wasn't professional,

Or athletic,

Or a good cook,

Or an excellent dancer,

Or triumphant at winning a wife.

None of those things mattered to

A guy who loved picking flowers

Or at least tries to on a cold winter

Day.

Or picking apples in the orchard

In the freezing cold.

He won gold metals for worries

And anxieties

But we never knew how to feel

About him

Because we were always put

Off by his strange behavior.

He never truly fit In.

I guess he was from a planet

Where he was picking daisies

In the winter

And eating apples in the winter

And slurping Slurpies in the winter

And swimming in such hypothermia

Water in the winter.

What a guy.

If he was a guy

Or was he was an alien?

I used to wonder.

I'd removed myself from this reception

Because I wanted to really know

Whether he was who he said he was.

One night, we were eating candy.

He was picking at my rooftop but

I offered him a Snickers bar

From five Halloweens ago.

He declined, jumping in fright

From such a crinkly wrapper

That made a sound that he swore

Gave him nightmares.

What guy--

Human man--

Got nightmares from candy?

Anyway.

He was strange.

But he'll never be remembered.

he'll never live on.

I'll go back to my friends.

My real human friends.

And say he was an alien.

A freak.

A thing.

Because he was.

No one ate his food when he was with us for fear we'd contact some fatal disease

Or worst nightmares come true.

I mean,

Who eats ice cream in the winter?

Or Popsicles in the fall?

Get the seasons right, dude,

Or you'll be eaten.

Me and my friends might just suck

You dry.

Dry of blood.

We have fangs and can turn Into

Bats.

We're nocturnal.

Our skin is white and we're thousands

Of years old.

We're weird.

But not like this delicious dessert

Before us.

Bye, Easy on the Eggs.

We're coming for you.

Humans aren't eating other humans.

We're eating our enemies.

We're eating our favorite food.

Our friend

Easy on the Eggs.