Love is stronger than hate

This is about Kevin when Rachel leaves, if you haven't read Regret and Mommy's girl you might not understand the story.

Have a wonderful day or night!!!

I remained shocked after she left, never in a million years would I have imagined her uttering those exact words. They would haunt me my entire life. 

‘Rachel, don’t go… please’ I told myself, I wasn’t comfortable telling her.

I tried to persuade her to stay with me but she stormed off all of a sudden after so many years of living happily with me. 

She was gone… left from my sight, vowing never to see me again. She left with my heart, my love… my child.

* * * * * * * * *

21 years later-

“Hey girl, how’s it going,” I stroked my lapdog Daisy. The cute chihuahua that had won my heart and warmed me up with her kisses. 

She whimpered, realizing I was bothered about something.

“S’ok girl, I’ll be fine,” I wasn’t sure if I was reassuring her or myself. Either way my soul still didn’t expect the fact about my other half leaving me. ‘More like betrayal’ I removed that vile thought instantly, Rachel might have hurt me; mentally, but I still love her no matter what.

The day she left I was heartbroken, I couldn’t face my brother and his family after that. 

What do I say? I was a criminal and that’s why my pregnant girlfriend left me? No way, I was flushed to admit my mistake, my crime that brought all the ill luck to me. 

I wish I could go back in time and be an honest man, Rachel would have been here with me along with our child. Child?

‘How long had it been since Rachel left me?’ The thought entered my mind, I was curious how old my child was. I didn’t even know what gender it was… what a dad I am.

I checked my calendar, the day she left was marked there as a memory for my own sake: September 12, 1999… wow, time passed so fast. It’s almost been 21 years since she’s gone. 

Does that make my child officially 21 years?

Had I missed their graduations?

I rubbed my head, another headache I guess. For some distraction I turned on the TV; the news came in view. I rolled my eyes, news was the worst, always boasting or lying. I was about to leave the room when I heard what was the topic in the news…

“Today, 40 year old Rachel Alvarez was assassinated, people suspected a young man by the name Trevor Hunts, he has stated that he meant no harm to anyone, the reason for his outburst was quote, ‘ I was my job, she was a criminal to help another criminal escape from our clutches, she deserved to die…’ Mrs. Alvarez is taken to the Stanford hospital in southern California, doctors are working hard to remove the bullet that had…”

I turned off the TV before the reporter could finish and threw the remote far away from me. I heard glass breaking; ‘must have broken the kitchen window’ I assumed.

I was too shocked to cry; to accept the fact that she’s gone… forever. I’ll never see her again unless a miracle happened and she survived.

Hot tears streamed through my face, I fell on my knees and tried to hold my anxiety inside me. Trevor Hunts… where have I heard of him?

My memories jogged back to when I was in prison, everyone there talked about Trevor; the man behind their capturers, I remembered a young man, black hair, sunglasses with UV lenses, always in a suit, was that Trevor? 

Was it again my fault Rachel died? It was my idea to involve Rachel into my chaotic life, now she’s part of it, and it’s all my fault she’s in the state she is now.

Suddenly I remembered, Rachel and I are not the only ones suffering from heartbreak; my child… what will happen to my precious kid, how will they cope with this incident?

I have to see my kid, I need to make sure they’re safe. I already lost Rachel, I can’t bear to lose my only other source of happiness.

Maybe… maybe this can be a reunion, I hope Rachel will forgive me in her last stages of life. I wish to see her before the darkness swallows her.

* * * * * * * * *

“Thank you so much for adjusting, I will be back as soon as possible,” I handed her a 20$ bill and patted Daisy’s head one more time while she sadly licked my hand; worried I guess.

“I’ll be fine, be a good girl,” I blew her an air-kiss and waved goodbye to Sally; my dog sitter.

I hailed a cab as soon as I entered main street.

“Tennessee international airport, number 355,” I directed the cab driver who nodded and stomped on the gas.

“Thank you,” I handed him his change and took my luggage out of the cab, speed-walked to the registration, filled out papers, showed them my ID. I catched my breath, hoping they wouldn't see me as a criminal. Nope, the woman behind the counter smiled shyly and gave me the tickets without any further hesitations . 

I said my thank you’s as I saw my luggage being transported into the storage of the airplane. 

“You better hurry, the plane leaves in 10 minutes,” She warned me.

I nodded my head and speeded my pace, always checking the time on my watch… an older man stood in front of the plane door, I wasn’t late, thank God. 

He verified my ID and tickets, stamped them and wished me a nice journey. I practically ran down the slopes until the plane came in view.

The air hostess helped me find my seats. Finally, I settled in for the 4 hours and 11 minutes flight.

I didn’t realize I drifted off until I heard soda fizz and soft murmurs around me.

“May I offer you a drink, sir?” One of the air hostess asked, she had a coke ready in her hand.

“No, thank you,” I wasn’t in a mood to drink sodas and eat chips. My love could be dying this minute, I had to focus.

She politely smiled and left me alone, no one else bothered me for the rest of the journey.

“We’ll be landing in a few minutes, seats belts fastened, please,” The pilot spoke, he sounded very tired and happy to land soon.

Everyone’s faces lit up, some woke up from a deep slumber while others ate their remaining snacks. 

The plane landed, smooth as ever. I was one of the first off the plane as I made my way to the check-in line.

By the time I was outside of the airport, I was famished and exhausted but I had to keep going.

Unlike Tennessee, California was a hot, very humid country for sure. I was used to cold air blowing in my face or sometimes surprisingly even snow (not that it snows a lot in Tennessee)

This was so… different. I always wanted to visit California but never had the chance to. Speaking of California, what in the world was Rachel doing all the way here? I knew she lived in Georgia, why did she come here all of a sudden?

“Hello sir, taxi?” A tall man asked me, offering me a ride.

I handed him his money and got in. I had no idea where Rachel or my child lived so I just told the taxi driver to take me to Stanford hospital described by the news reporter. Rachel had been admitted there, maybe my kiddo was there too?

It took us a while to reach there, boy was it crowded here.

Finally, when I began to feel like dying of boredom the taxi parked on the sidelines as I got off with my luggage. 

I looked up, the hospital looked like a skyscraper, more of less a hospital. I asked around for Rachel, everyone inside seemed to be on what was happening to my Rachel. 

A kind nurse led me to her, I happily followed. The nurse stopped at a half ajar door indicating to me that is where Rachel was and left me alone.

I was unsure exactly what to do, will she be happy to see me or turn away from me forever. Will she hold a grudge against me still? 

I dissolved those unresolved feelings and stepped into the room. The air inside was like a cleanser, cleaning all the negative feelings my mind held. I felt light-headed as I approached the bed. 

‘Rachel’, I wanted to call out to her, tell her I’m here for her. How much I’d missed her, but no… I was quiet, no words were spoken from my trembling lips, no words to describe how I felt the second I saw her… the lifeless corpse… so pale. So lifeless. Not my Rachel at all.

She was dressed in a long hospital robe, her eyes were closed and her mouth moved slightly, the only indication she was alive. Her cheeks; the cheeks I remembered blushing as she spoke were spiritless and anemic. She was so feeble, her heart… I could hear, fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird, trying to keep up the pace but failing miserably.

I felt the presence of someone else in the room I didn’t notice before. I looked up from my beloved to see who it was. 

Her chocolate brown eyes, it was what kept me looking at her in joy, the way her mouth moved resembled my own, her locks of brown hair so alike to Rachel, she was so like Rachel. I saw her blush scarlet red as she noted my staring and looked away instantly. ‘So like Rachel’ I thought.

Aside from her features I couldn’t help but notice her more thoroughly, tears dried up leaving marks on her face, the way she looked at Rachel was unable to be described. I felt so close to her even if I didn't even know her. She reminded me of Rachel when we were young, so clueless we were then. I smiled slightly in the cherished memories we’d had. 

Who was she? ‘Why is she here with Rachel?’ That thought kept me on guard, whoever she is, she’s mighty close to Rachel.

Then I began to understand, was it true? Is she really…mine? I wanted to go hug her but I gripped my discovery inside me. She probably doesn't know me; her father. What if Rachel told her about me, the real me. Is my own daughter against me then?

“May I help you?” Her feeble voice rang in my ears, for a second I felt as if Rachel had spoken to me but she laid still as a statue.

“No, I…” What do I say? ‘I’m your father and I’m the reason your mom is in this state?’

Doesn't sound good to me, I don’t want her to hate me as well unless she already did, she might hate me more.

I couldn't take it anymore, lying won’t do any good for me. I need to tell her… everything.

“I…” I started to speak but I was cut short when Rachel’s eyes weakly opened, gasping for air as if she was running out of oxygen.

“B-bella,” Her delicate voice spoke up for once, I was intrigued by the name she had called out; Bella.

“Mother, you rest, I’ll be fine,” She assured Rachel. 

“Bella?” I spoke out, unknowingly louder than I expected. They both turned their heads in my direction. ‘Bella’ clearly was in a confused state but Rachel, her eyes were wide as she immediately recognised me, she probably already knew it was me just by hearing my voice.

“Kevin, is that you? Her voice was cracking, her eyes showed disappointment mixed with fear but with a hint of happiness.

“Yes,” I breathed, finally I saw her after so long.

“How?” She must have questioned herself since she didn’t let me answer, “I told you to forget about me.”

“I tried and I failed, I’m sorry…” I wanted to say that I should leave but Bella piped up before I had finished.

“Mom, who’s this, a friend?” She clearly has no idea about me; her father. I was glad Rachel didn’t poison her mind against me in spite of her hatred for me.

“I guess so, a very old… friend,” She seemed pissed calling me,’friend.’

“Rachel, you can’t keep her in the dark all your life, you have to tell her the truth,” I felt despondent but maybe… maybe Rachel and Bella will forgive me for my misdeeds.

“Mom, don’t lie to me, that Trevor guy, you knew him before, didn’t you?” My daughter sure was smart figuring out all the complicated lives of her parents.

“Yes,” Rachel whispered, I could barely hear her and I was standing only a few feet away from her.

“I’ll tell you, everything about me and… your father,” Rachel cringed as she spoke the ending in distress.

* * * * * * * * *

“My mom’s like this because of you?” I’d just explained everything to Bella, I meant everything.

“I’m sorry,” 

“Being sorry isn’t going to cure my mom,” Her words stung me, hard. I already expected her to react like this. I have to face my consequences.

“Bella?” Her mother calmed her agitated daughter.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off so harshly,” She clearly didn’t want to apologize, only for her mother's sake she pretended to.

“It’s fine, I deserve it,”

None of us spoke up, Bella fidgeted with her hands, Rachel took a gulp of warm water with the help from Bella and I remained still, I felt like I did belong but at the same time I didn’t.

“Look, the past is behind us… let's focus on the future,” Rachel’s cheeks were slowly coming back to the color I remembered them being; scarlet red.

“Do you…” I started.

“No, I don’t forgive you yet,” She spat out, I lowered my eyes in embarrassment but Rachel wasn’t finished.

“But, I won’t hate you anymore,” She happily added.

My eyes twinkled with joy, Rachel might not forgive me for my HUGE mistake but she’ll forget about it, good enough for me.

“Thank you,”

She rolled her eyes at me and gestured to me for a hug, I obeyed her as we embraced, she was safe with me. I wished I could hold her forever but I let go of her as she complained about me squeezing her.

“Dad,” I heard the word for the first time described to me, Bella looked… happy. I tearfully kissed her forehead, something she’d missed out when she had been a child; a father.

Now that I was here nothing can harm my family, I felt proud saying it, my family.

“I still haven’t forgiven you,” Rachel reminded me, giggling.

“I know, but I don’t care, all I care about is our love for each other,” 

“I love you, I always had and will,” She laughed as we touched our noses, rubbing it together with affection.

“I know, I feel the same way,” I called Bella over to join us, she immediately heeded as she was in the arms of her parents; mother and father… always.