The Problematic Ones

“So, uhm…Did you guys know about this tradition?”

“Nope.” They all replied.

“Great. What do we do?”

“Eat?” I looked in front of me at my empty plate, then quizzically looked at the man opposite me. Just as I was about to reply with a sarcastic comeback, we heard shuffling. Silence settled as we listened to what was happening outside the locked door, then a letter was pushed underneath. I snatched it away.

“Hey!” The idiot who wanted to eat air complained.

“Shut up, let her read it!” Replied the only other woman in our 5-person group, I liked her already.

“Hmm…”

“What does it say? Does it say when we’ll be let out? Or where are spouses are? We came in here together.” Bit overprotective.

"Dude, chill, they can handle themselves."

“No, it says we’re locked in here to get to know each other, they’ll let us out in 24 hours.”

“Great. We’re in The Breakfast Club, how original.” Air-eater was adding so much to this group.

“How will they see if we even talk to each other, they can’t force us? Let’s just wait out the 24 hours and leave.”

“Good idea.” With that, we each sat back down and pulled out our phones. No reception. We all looked up, probably thinking the same thing.

“Fine. I’ll start. I’m Lucy, I’m Ian’s wife. We’ve been together for five years. I’m unemployed at the moment, just quit my teaching job a few months back. Most of my time is spent looking for a job and doing house chores.”

“How did the family receive you?” The blonde with a pixie cut asked.

“Ha…Not well. They thought I was a gold-digger. Couldn’t imagine how their son could fall for a teacher, let alone a bad one at that. But after some time they got used to me, they might even like me by now. How about you?”

“Oh, well… Bria came home with an engagement ring and me by her side before coming out to anyone, so it was quite a shock. They were all very tense, not sure they ever forgave me as if it were my fault she didn’t tell them earlier. Adding to that I’m a freelancer, so you know the gold-digger alert came up as well. Oh, my name is Cindy, just FYI.”

“What do you do as a freelancer?”

“I mostly do graphics for companies: logos, business cards and such. It’s how I met Bria.” Bria was Ian’s cousin, I didn’t know her well, her mom wasn’t very liked by the family, even though it surprised no one that she left them. The father never remarried, so Bria was an only child, Ian told me it showed, but I never got what he meant.

“I’m Charlie” chimed in the overprotective one, breaking the minute-long silence. “I’m Danny’s life partner. I’m a bartender downtown. I uhm… got introduced to the family early on, they seemed nice, maybe it was just an act, but I felt welcome. A week after the family dinner, though, Danny started acting weird, distant claimed she needed space to think. Didn’t want to be judgy or assume things, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that her family had something to do with it. So I confronted her, she said that they told her I couldn’t be trusted, that I must have commitment issues and that’s the reason I don’t want to ever get married. They got in her head. It took us some time to work it out, but it was worth it. We’ve been together for almost eight years, planning on having a baby soon.” Ian never told me Danny had someone! Not sure I would’ve believed it even if he did. That poor girl was so easily manipulated by her grandma, all that need to please that old crow makes her such a doormat sometimes.

“Wow! I got “received” amazingly compared to you guys. I’m Tucker. They welcomed me, yeah the dad grilled me a bit, but nothing other than that. I wonder why?” Air-head -clearly surprised- said.

“Who did you marry?”

“We’re not married, we, me and Gina, have only been dating for…like 5 months, but-” he couldn’t finish, cause we burst out laughing. “What?!”

“Nothing, it’s just… Sorry, pal, I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but you guys won’t be endgame, at least she doesn’t think so. I wondered why I haven’t heard of you, or seen you before at the family events before. She’ll probably break up with you soon, sorry.”

“Why would you think that? We’re perfectly fine!”

“First of Gina doesn't do serious, and if she ever changed her mind she will keep it a secret for some time for sure. The family would grill you so hard you’d want to run if you guys were anything remotely serious, she would probably want to prolong that as long as she could if she wanted to be with you for a longer amount of time. They are very conservative and judgmental, if the three stories haven’t already proved that, then I’ll tell you a fourth. I met Reese in uni -we lived in the same dorm- we became great friends. We decided to move in together after we finished school. On the day we went to look at this awesome apartment, his mother came. I thought it was a bit weird, he was a grown man he should take care of his own business, not his mom. He previously told me that he wasn’t close with his family, so it seemed even more suspicious that he'd send his mom.” Uuuu, Reese’s mom is a monster, like a literary a horrible person that does not deserve a son like Reese. I don’t even know why they keep in touch, I thought she disinherited him after finding out… “I was right to be nervous, she never stepped a foot in the house, neither did I. She stopped me before I could open the door. I never felt more seen in my life, it was as if she could see into my soul. I felt uncomfortable, to say the least. She kept asking all these coded questions with hidden meanings, I felt as if I were doing a test. Which answer would make her think I’m gay, which would sound more straight? What answer would hide my knowledge of her son's issues? Should I tell her I want to be an artist or just keep to my fine art degree story? Does she know about my intentions? All while trying to not pry on what kind of relationship does she have with her son, how much does she know. Retrospectively I don’t think it would've mattered, she already made up her mind: I was a bad influence. I was the reason her baby daughter- yes she actually said that- turned deformed and committed irredeemable acts.” He stopped for a minute, reliving the inquisition had caused him to tear up a bit. I could see some confusion forming on Tucker’s face. I didn’t want Wesley to have to go into that as well, so I just added in a bit.

“Reese is transgender.”

“Yeah, sorry, forgot you were a newbie” Wes chuckled. “So yeah, I didn’t really do many family dinners after that, and after a few yelling matches neither did Reese. I supported him when most of his family failed to.” He looked at me smiling, knowing very well how much it meant to Reese to have his brother by his side when so many have abandoned him.

“Well, we certainly got to know each other a bit better, but I still don’t get why it’s only us? Why aren’t the other spouses here? I mean where’s Karen’s husband? Or I don’t know the million other cousins they have, don’t they have partners?” Cindy demanded.

“I think they only invited the problematic ones” I laughed. “And newbie, I have no clue what you’re doing here.”

“I…I bought an engagement ring, maybe this is their way of showing me the consequences of my proposal.”

“Did it work? Did you change your mind?”

“Yeah! I do not want to go to another family meal that’s for sure, but I dunno if I could leave Gina, I really like her and right now I even depend on her. Not financial!” He added seeing our reactions.

“Soo what now? Another round of problematic things the Naja family did?” Shuffling. Another white envelope appeared, I let Tucker get it, hoping it was good news and he’d change his mind about breaking free. I felt a bit guilty chasing away a potential husband, even if Gina wasn’t my favourite person.

“Fuck. I don’t like the sound of this.”

“What is it?”

“Choose one of you who you think deserves the most to be punished.” Oh crap.