And The Winner Is.....

Flying, pushing and elbowing their way around in the crowded dressing room the beauty contestants searched for a place to land. Hoping to claim a vacant styling chair took the skill of an acrobat. I managed to get to the chair first. But out of the blue, I was pushed by someone causing me to fall hitting my chin on the arm. However, Carrie jumped in it before Miss Bandera got her leg draped over the back of the chair.

“Girls, we have 30 minutes till curtain call. So pull it together PDQ. The pageant manager shouted above the chatter of the teens. Her voice rose till she sounded like the American Wigeon hoping she could be heard by everyone. But the girls covered their ears keeping the annoying sound dialed down.

“Come on Maddie,” Carrie said as she pulled me to the styling booth. Get busy and do your magic with this hair of mine!” she screamed.

“I was here first!” Miss Bandera shouted in Carrie’s face.

“Like hell you were!” Carrie shouted back and shoved Miss Bandera away.

Gathering herself from the shove, she then tripped over me while I was still trying to recover from my fall. Her hair had come unraveled from the updo of about at least 70 tiny braids. She stood up and tried to push the hair back under the hundreds of bobby pins. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress that formed when she fell. Carrie kicked at her and through clenched teeth yelled, “Git!”

I glared into the eyes of Carrie, or Miss Peach, with disbelief as I felt the shove and yelling at her like a cur dog was unnecessary.

“Come on, Maddie. Time’s a’wastin’.”

Grabbing hair spray, curling iron and other hair tools from my bag, I began styling her hair. Following the hair do, I then pulled her makeup out realizing that was where the real work was going to be. As professional as I was, there was no way I could straighten that nose or fill out the sagging cheeks. But my thoughts would not be revealed to the more-than-anxious beauty queen who was vying for the big crown of the evening.

The uncontrollable babble all around me was getting to me. It sounded like a room of magpies that crescendoed in this last 30 minutes till my ears were ringing.

“Oh My God!” Miss Longhorn cried from across the room. This is the worst time for Miss Flo to visit! Someone help me, pleeease!” she begged.

Tampons began flying across the room. One landed on the blade of the ceiling fan and began to unravel as it was twirling around. I took a minute from my work on the beauty queen and grabbed my phone. I was laughing so hard that my hand shook. Carrie pulled at my arm demanding my attention. I jerked my hand back and managed to snap a shot. Then got back to the impossible job in front of me, Carrie!

Someone reached across me and grabbed at my heated ½” curling iron by her bare hand and dropped it immediately. She moaned and began rubbing her red hand.

“Next time, try asking,” I smirked. She growled and walked away holding her hand.

“Twenty more minutes!” one of the pageant leaders shouted.

Screams could be heard into the next town over. The pushing and shoving became more aggressive. I just had to dress Carrie’s eyes with the spider eye lashes, and we would be done.

“Come on ladies!” the leader shouted. Let’s line up and go over the pageant schedule. It needs to be flawless!” she shouted.

“I bet it does,” I thought to myself. “We sure don’t want a bad name now do we?” I giggled.

Finally things quietened as the ladies stood listening to the chairman of the “My Dream Beauty Pageant”. I heard Mrs. Leaderman shouting at the top of her lungs on what to expect when their names were called. They were instructed on standing, smiling, placement of their hands and how to hold their heads. Things what not to do, like laughing, speaking and abandoning their space was drilled into them.

“In other words, BEHAVE!” she squawked.

Finally able to take in the solitude and quiet I noticed a beautiful white gown lying on the floor that had fallen off a rack. It was a straight, tight fitting dress with silver beads snaking from the bodice down to the end of the skirt. The transparent overlay gently flowed covering the entire gown. It was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. I wondered whose it was. I picked it up and under it lay the sash that read, “Miss Strawberry”. I glanced at the “care directions” on the label and read the beautifully scripted, size 6.

“Humph”, I whispered to myself. “It’s my size.”

I stepped behind one of the dressing screens in the room and shimmied it down over my hips. It fit a little snug but it certainly emphasized my curves. I stepped out and admired myself in the mirror. I pulled my lips into a pout and laughed. Posing this way and that, tossing my head over my shoulder, flipping my hair, I said to myself, “Darn, you look right nice, darlin’”. I adjusted the Miss Strawberry sash and let it fall loosely across my chest down to my waist.

I picked up the ceramic triple barrel curling iron and twisted my long brown hair around it. I pulled the magic wand away and watched my hair flow down into loose curls. I was amazed at how nicely they draped down my shoulders to my chest. I puffed out my locks, sprayed the daylights out of it and gently smushed it up with the palm of my hand. Emphasizing the sway in my hips as beauty pageant contestants do, I sashayed back and forth in front of the mirror. I grabbed some blush and lightly dusted my cheeks. Thinking my big eyes would stand out more, I tried the false eyelashes. I had never worn these things before and my eyes felt like I placed a brush over my lids.I blinked a couple of times until I could focus on the image in front of me.

Still admiring myself in front of the mirror someone suddenly jerked my arm hard and pulled me away.

“Come on, honey. We need you NOW,” she firmly stated.

“You need me for what?”

“You are going to be a replacement,” she said urgently.

Her eyes were huge and her mouth was moving crazily as she kept saying, “We need you NOW!”

She was dragging me towards the girls who were walking one by one onto the stage as their names were being called.

“Wait a minute!” I shouted. “I am not who you think I am. I do not belong here. I am a hair and makeup girl,” I explained.

But my words were falling on deaf ears. I stumbled alongside the huge lady who was forcing me to the line.I tried to stay upright in my bare feet as I lurched on.

Then I was next to be called out. “I don’t belong here,” I whispered to the announcer.

And then I heard her say, “Next, we have Miss Strawberry. Miss Ida Delawn.”

“Ida Delawn?” I mouthed. “No! I said I don’t BELONG here.”

I felt someone gently urge me forward and then shoved me out onto the stage. I froze in my steps when I looked out into the audience. I stood still a moment and then told myself, “You can do this. You know what to do. You have been to these contests with Carrie before.”

Now standing before everyone I heartily waved. I knew it was the pageant rules to walk exactly where and how instructed. But I took advantage of my time and walked in a circle shaking my booty. Back in line, I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I was afraid Miss Watermelon could hear it. I smiled like everyone else even though I didn’t have a chance to brush my teeth or put Vaseline over them to keep them from sticking to my lips.

I was beginning to enjoy standing there among these silly ladies who were competing in this beauty contest. As I observed them, I began judging them in my head. I could tell right away who did not have a chance of making the top 10. Miss Watermelon was one. Miss Rattlesnake was another and so was Miss Longhorn. Sad to say, Carrie did not have a chance either. There were going to be some big tears when this was all said and done.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when we were told we would have to answer random questions. Nervous thoughts were bouncing around in my head as I realized the contest had started.

“Oh dear,” I said to myself. “But wait. I don’t have to be serious. I’ll just say something stupid, and I will be out of here.”

Question after question was asked of the ladies. Some of the answers made me roll my eyes. One question was, “If you could write a rule for your high school, what would it be?”Miss Pharr said, “I would add magazines in the ladies bathrooms.” Next was Carrie. “I hope they don’t ask her a dating question.”

“Miss Peach Queen” he started. “In some customs it is necessary for a parent to go along on their daughter’s first date or they make another sibling go along. What do you think of this family custom?”

Carrie’s eyes were as big as saucers. She turned to the audience, smiled and turned back to the questioner and said, “You are joking, aren’t you? Seriously, there’s a custom like that? I have never heard of such a thing. So you want to know what I would do if my parents made my little sniveling sister come on my first date?”

I hung my head and my shoulders shook as I was trying to hold my laughter inside.

“Yes, Miss Peach. That is the question,” replied the questioner.

“Well, first of all, THAT would not ever happen. I call FAKE on that,” she replied.

“Thank you, Miss Peach,” the questioner said.

I could have sworn he was laughing. I watched each contestant swaying their hips as they walked back to their position after answering their questions. They each stood very poised as if they were going to be the next president of the United States.

Then it was my turn. I was not afraid because I did not have a dog in this fight. It won’t matter what I say.

“Miss Strawberry,” he announced. His smile told me he was ready to get the heck out of Dodge. I could see him heading to the nearest bar and forgetting this day ever happened. I gave a friendly smile and nodded my head.

“Your question, Miss Strawberry, is, “The schools in Texas are allowing the special needs students attend all their classes with the other non-special needs students. It is called “inclusion”. Do you agree with this new ruling?”

I had made my mind up to have a funny remark at any question he asked, but this question hit home with me. There was no way I could make a funny remark. I have a special needs sister at home. I knew what it meant to include her with the other students. And I also knew how it benefited both sides of this issue.

Standing in my bare feet, I turned to the audience and the long table of judges sitting in the semi-darkness before me. I answered the question with commitment and convincement. Everyone applauded. I turned back to the questioner, smiled and stepped back.

He mouthed “thank you”.

I said back, “You are more than welcome.” He motioned with his hand for me to get back in line with the other girls.

The chairman of the pageant stepped forward to announce that we would be taking a break while the judges chose the top 10.Somebody rushed up to me and handed me a pair of silver stilettos to slip on. Suddenly I could see the top of all the girls heads. Girls rushed down off the three tiered steps stressing the need to go to the bathroom. Someone handed a tissue to Miss Cinderella from the Valley so she could wipe away her nervous tears. I felt sorry for these girls who took this pageant so seriously.

I looked up and saw Carrie staring me in my eyes. "What in the heck are you doing here?” she demanded.

“I am just a fill in, Carrie. I am not really a contestant. In 15 minutes when they announce the top 10, I will be out of here.”

“Well, I must say you look stunning,” Carrie said.

“Thanks. But I do not belong here. You KNOW that, and I KNOW that and, don’t worry, they know it too.”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if I don’t make it and you did?” she giggled.

“No, that would not be funny at all. I don’t want to be here.”

The fifteen minutes passed. The judges seated themselves down at the elongated table. The pageant chairman asked the head judge if they had a consensus of the top 10.He nodded. Then the envelope was handed to the mayor of Comfort City.

He stood there a minute to build drama before he read the first name on the list.

Miss Hub City was announced first. Everyone gasped for air as anxiety built inside each remaining girl. The second contestant announced was Miss Bee. Again more gasps were heard with loud applause and shouts probably from her family. Seven of the top 10 stood side by side holding hands and breathing deeply. Miss Peach nor Miss Strawberry had not made the top 10 yet. We stood tall and smiled and Carrie was not letting on that she was scared she wasn’t going to be chosen. Annnd she wasn’t.

“Miss South Padre Island. Will you join the eight ladies, please?” the mayor said. More applause and sniffles.

Anxiety was building awaiting for the tenth and last contestant to be revealed. It seemed like forever before the mayor made the final proclamation.

He turned to the audience and loudly announced, “Miss Strawberry, Miss Ida Delawn, is our tenth contestant moving on.”

I stood still and could not move. I did not belong here.

Carrie reached into the crowd of ladies and pulled me from them and shoved me out to line up with the other nine beauties.

“I don’t belong here, Carrie. They will find the mistake and release me. I need to tell them.”

“No, you can’t. My dad is on the council. I told him you were here by mistake. He told me they made phone calls to Poteet City and got permission to allow you to replace the missing girl. So, you are ok to be here.”

Now I was nervous. I crept from where I had been standing and made my way to the other ten contestants. I was shaking from my head to my toes.

The curtains closed with the announcement we would be back for the swimsuit category followed by the talent contest. I tumbled to the floor.

I woke up with a nurse standing over me slapping my face and waving some smelly stuff under my nose. I tried to sit up. The nurse placed her hand on my back and eased me into an upright position.

“I need to go home,” I said.

Carrie was there by me. “No, you don’t. You’ve got this.”

“I don’t have this, Carrie. I don’t have a swim suit and I have no talent and I should not be here!”

She dangled her swimsuit in front of my eyes. “I have the swimsuit but you are on your own with the talent.”

“This cannot be happening,” I murmured.

“Listen, can you sing?”

“No. I can only rap,” I joked.

“Can you rap?” the chairman asked.

“Well, sort of.”

“Great. Because rapping is allowed,” the chairman stated. “What is the title of the song or rap or whatever they call it?”

“I don’t have anything memorized.”

“How are you with thinking on your feet?”

“I am pretty good at some things, but not for this,” I told her.

“Well, think of something. You just have to get through the swimsuit contest.”

“No, I don’t. I am out of here. I told you I don’t belong here.”

“Miss Delawn. You will do fine,” and she walked away.

Carrie said, “Miss DeLawn? Where did that come from Maddie?”

“I tried telling them I did not belong here and they thought I said my name is Ida DeLawn.”

We both laughed.

Carrie looked around the dressing room and began reading the positive wordings and slangs out loud that were posted all around the room.

“Look at that one, Maddie. “She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten”.”

Something clicked in my mind.

I held my breath through the swim suit contest. I let out a big sigh of relief when I walked off.Next was the talent contest.

Standing in front of everyone, I turned and signaled to the band to play something simple. I began my rap using all the positive words posted in the dressing room.

I received the sympathy applause. I waved and walked off the stage.

The top five girls were called, and I was one of them. I was shocked.

Finally, the big announcement was about to be made for the winner.

“And the winner is…” There was a drum roll of sorts. Then he loudly shouted, “Miss Heart of Texas!”