He laughs out loud. Ha ha ha.
The main magazine of Purplelandia never failed to make him laugh. Articles, columns, or short stories written by talented writers of Purplelandia would find themselves in the mother of all magazines of this purple planet, named Landia. This was issue 8888.
Purplelandia was known for its genius writing skills. Reading and writing were the most respected skills a citizen of Purplelandia could develop. Each Purplelandish child is trained in the skills of reading, to the point that it can read at least one book every two days, totaling around four books per week (a week in Purplelandia consists of eight days).
After children would be comfortable reading an entire book without anyone’s help, they were then taught to write.
From sentence structures to different styles, a child is given the freedom to choose from the books they have read, and write their impressions of them. The limit is one page. Once they learn to connect the content of a book with their emotions and their experiences, they would then write longer pieces.
Then they were trained to edit the written text. Once they could correct their own mistakes, whether they be of grammatical or stylistic nature, then they were encouraged to write about whatever they wanted to write about.
Letter adored reading during his shift (Letter is the name of the person mentioned in the opening sentence, who we stumbled across giggling at comedy bits in the newest Landia issue).
Parents of Purplelandia named their children after objects or concepts that had to do with reading or writing. Letter’s best friends were Typewriter, Ink, Bookmark, and Wordcount. Book still remained the most popular name, even for the citizens of Purplelandia whose first name was not Book, mostly it was their middle name. That was the case with our citizen, Letter (Book) Letterino.
As he read the magazine, he would occasionally take a look through his window.
He was stationed in a capsule, in outer space. His job was to look out for any peculiarities, and if there were any, he was to report them.
Letter did not have to do much, he just had to sit there and do the clicking. He was even told what to click.
He sipped some purplefee, and once he was done with the Landia magazine, he continued reading one of the forty books that he brought with him, as he was to be stationed here for another two months. Even if he ran out of books, each capsule that guarded the portals of Purplelandia was filled with over one hundred books. This was done with the intention to keep stationed soldiers entertained, to ensure that they spend their time productively and with that in mind, they continue the legacy of Purplelandia. Many great works of literature and philosophy were written when authors themselves were stationed in these capsules, because stacks of books, solitude, and the breathtaking views of Landia’s galaxy, were a haven for creative output. There was also a conspiracy theory that the government of Purplelandia created these positions on purpose, so the number of published books would increase.
“I love reading so much” Letter thought to himself maybe for a thousandth time in the last twelve hours.
The ships that were passing by his capsules were going through a portal to enter the grounds of Purplelandia.
Many capsules traveled from the other planets to enter the portal to Purplelandia, for purposes of business, tourism, or negotiations and such…
The purple capsules, as they were nicknamed, would scan the tinier capsules (that wished to enter the portal) in case they were transporting anything illegal or dangerous.
Sometimes Letter would have to enter these capsules and inspect them if they were suspicious.
The soldiers stationed inside the purple capsules would authorize the traveling capsules for a safe and legal pass.
He made more purplefee. He was now reading another book about brewing methods of coffee in this land of Bosnia and Herzegovina, back in the great days of Earth, also known as Earthlandia.
Typewriter, his friend positioned a few capsules away, comes up through the speakers.
“What are you reading?” This is how the citizens of Purplelandia greeted each other.
Her raspy voice, which sounded as if she just woke up, had this soul-soothing warmth to it.
“I am again reading about Bosnia and Herzegovina, and their coffee ways” Letter
“I have already read a few books. But, it is tough to collect the truth from such deficient segments.” (Typewriter)
“That is true. I have to read multiple books, to get to some conclusion, which is this tiny percentage of the whole thing.“ (Letter)
“Exactly! It is frustrating. Have you discovered anything new in your readings?” (Typewriter)
“No new facts or anything, but I am coming to the more definite conclusion that they mostly consumed coffee out of pleasure. They saw it as a way to socialize with other citizens of Bosnia and Herzegovina and converse about their lives.” (Letter)
“I think so as well. What we could also add, this culture of coffee houses and socializing through means of coffee drinking comes from the Ottoman Empire. The countries of the Balkan peninsula were conquered by this empire. Even though the period under Ottoman rule was no fun, it still left a cultural imprint on these countries, and one of those imprints is coffee” (Typewriter)
She was brilliant.
“You are brilliant” Letter
“Well, thank you” (Typewriter)
“Imagine if we got the coffee plant, instead of those fools on Bluelandia” (Typewriter)
“We would be unstoppable” (Letter)
Bluelandia was the main exporter of coffee in the galaxy of Landia planets.
Each planet was formed after the explosion of Earthlandia. Each fragment of the exploded Earthlandia radiated lights, each with a unique color, and each birthed its own planet. Inside each fragment, were random climate traits, language traits, food traits, creative traits, and so forth. Some traits were more dominant, and some less.
Purplelandia did not get the coffee plant, just the specs of it, from which they could not grow the actual coffee plant in their labs. Instead, it was Bluelandia who got it.
Another conspiracy theory was that Bluelandia was not exporting the real coffee, but something inferior they mixed up in their labs.
“As we mention them, I have also noticed that it is mostly their capsules entering our portals. Could it again be their hyperactivity?” (Letter)
“I do not know if our relations have gotten that much better, but all I see is that blue color. Maybe they need our help with their addiction” (Typewriter)
“Well, your insights do agree with the speculations in the latest Landia issue. Many are predicting that the lights of blue and purple will unite”
“Oh my God Letter, as the Earthlandians would say, you know I cannot stand the conspiracy section” (Typewriter)
“That is true. But some are thinking that it could be a military alliance” (Letter)
“Where did you read that?!” (Typewriter)
“I did not read it. Wordcount told me” (Letter)
“Shut up!” Wordcount’s voice comes through the speakers.
“Letter, why are you the way you are?” (Wordcount)
“Cmon we have to converse about this. All we are seeing is those hyperactive coffee slurpers coming in and out. We have to talk about it” (Letter)
“Word, are you serious about this alliance thing?” (Typewriter)
“Yes… I have some connections in Bluelandia. Some of them who work in the transportation capsules, have told me how their most often used route has been the purple one. Guys, they are saying it is mostly weapons that they are transporting. We are the people of books and pens. Why are they supplying us with weapons?”
The line stays silent for a few seconds.
“Maybe we are trying to expand our trade?” (Typewriter)
“In order for trade to work we have to give something back. What is that we have that they would want to have? Nothing is coming to my mind” (Wordcount)
“Maybe knowledge? We are after all the know-it-alls of this galaxy” (Typewriter)
“But, what kind of knowledge? What could they possibly be interested in?” (Letter)
A knock.
Letter turns towards the knock.
Typewriter and Wordcount at the same time “What was that?”
The knocking continues.
“Is someone…knocking?” Typewriter asks.
The knocking continues, this time aggressively. If one wanted to enter Letter’s capsule, one would have to have Letter’s card to get a pass through one of its many entrances. The interesting thing was that capsules, after changing their stationed soldiers, would also be re-engineered, and the order and placement of entrances would completely be changed in each of these capsules. So, only a few people knew where each entrance was.
The knocking continues. Letter spins on his chair, and checks the cameras. Cameras by each entrance showed nothing.
“You do hear this?” (Letter)
“Yes” (Typewriter, Wordcount)
He moves one of the cameras, which could crawl around the capsule like a spider. As the camera attempts to come down to the entrance from which the knocking came, it is shot down.
“Someone just shot down the camera” (Letter)
“Get a weapon!” Typewriter yells, and the first layer of the doors is broken into. As the second layer of doors are being broken into, Letter tries to get the weapon from the wall.
They got in. With masks on, there was no way to recognize them. What he did notice were the blue patches on their arms. That still meant nothing, he could not think what he wanted to think.
“Do not move another step” They warn him, with their weapons pointing at him.
“Letter, are you there?” Shaky voice of Typewriter comes through the speakers.
They rush towards him, and he looks around for potential weapons. Stacks of books on his table.
He grabs books, and with lightning speed, he starts throwing. They were thrown with shocking precision, as each book hit them right in the head.
“Stop it!” They scream.
“I have been throwing books at my siblings for as long as I can remember. Get out!”
Once they restrain him and put him on the ground, they say “Calm down”
As he tries to get rid of their harsh squeezes, he manages to get a better look at their patches. A frozen coffee bean, with icy spikes all around it. Arms of Bluelandia.
“You traitors! As soon as we gave you a helping hand, you stab us in the back”
“Shut up!” Letter gets a slap.
“We are here before they first get to you” (Bluelandians)
“What are you talking about?” (Letter)
“The Pinklandians. We have information, that they plan to conquer every planet in the galaxy of Landia, and once they do, they will unite all the planets, and thus make a rainbow that will shine eternally through the galaxy of Landia” (Bluelandians)
That did not seem so bad.
“Rainbow?” (Letter)
“Yes, a Rainbow. They want to bring back Earthlandia” (Bluelandians)
“Why is that so bad?” (Letter)
“By doing that, they might bring all destruction to all of us. They want us to get along with each other, that we the Bluelandians can write as well as you the Purplelandians, and that you brew a good of a coffee as we the Bluelandinas” (Bluelandians)
“Unacceptable! ” (Letter)
“Exactly! That way we will all lose our identity. They will take your books, and our coffee!” (Bluelandians)
This one obviously did not understand his sarcasm. Did he even know what it was? He wanted to play the game for a bit.
“An abomination!” Still nothing, they just nodded.
They would get their coffee, and these guys would get to read more. No surprise that was a nightmare for them.
Pinklandia was the largest importer of writing goods from Purplelandia. Pinklandia inherited the hot climate, where they were to be found swimming, drinking, and dancing. They had an undying love for music. They inherited music from Earthlandia. They had a romantic view of life. The music made them less selfish, and many times oblivious to reality. Somehow it made sense to Letter, that it was the pink folk who wanted to unite everyone under the same banner. But, nothing about them was violent.
“Okay you will get us into the sphere of Purplelandia” They let him go.
“Wait, why do you want to enter Purplelandia?” (Letter)
“Because Bluelandia has been supplying Purplelandia with weapons to fight off Pinklandia. We are a part of the secret mission to make sure everything is going well. We have been informed that soon, Pinklandians will try to get into your sphere. They want to take over you first, as you are their favorite. Think of us as a reinforcement, but a secret one”
“I see” (Letter)
Multiple questions were popping up in his head.
A knock. Suddenly, everything stops. Letter looks around, along with the Bluelandians. The knock seemed to have come somewhere from behind. They hear it again. It came from the speakers.
“I think I also have guests” Her voice. Typewriter’s. He swallowed.
Something about these blue coffee fucks was suspicious, and he could smell danger.
He wanted to be with her.
“Are these again your folk?”
They look at each other. Letter knew they did not know, but he did not want to show it. Whatever else they were to utter, it was to be a lie.
He looked at the purple square next to the window. Under it was the button.
They break into the capsule of Typewriter.
Same scenario occurs. The ones that got to her were less patient than the ones in Letter’s capsule.
They were yelling and ordering her to make the capsule travel to the purple sphere.
As Letter, she demanded questions. They were not as kind, and they aggressively demanded that she submit to their orders.
“Tell them to calm down, or I will not cooperate” (Letter)
The speakers in his capsule keep producing knocks. One by one, each capsule that encircled and guarded the portals of the purple planet was broken into. Each breaking-in seemed more unrestrained than the previous one.
“Your compatriots seem terribly impatient” (Letter)
“That is because they are impatient to help the cause. Our duty is to fight the secret enemy” The soldier put a hand on Letter’s arm.
Letter again looked at the purple square. The button that was under it was an emergency button. If it was to be pressed, it would send a warning to the purple authorities.
With it, the capsule would explode, and the portal that was guarding it would immediately be shut down for the next 88 hours.
The decision was to be made.
“Take us through the portal, friend”
As he told him that, he noticed his dilated pupils. In school, they were taught about the blue condition. He was high on coffee, and could barely control his hyperactivity.
He thought of Typewriter. He loved those moments when they would sneak into each other’s capsules, and talk about books. Write. Drink purplefee.
If he was to start what he was about to start, he would hear her voice again.
They kept pushing him to start the process, and he knew the time was about to come.
“I will do it. Give me a minute”
He stood up. They nodded at him, with their bewildered eyes.
“I have to say a few words before I can start” The leader of the group gestures to him with a rifle to go ahead.
He takes one last look at his work desk, his writings, and his books.
He is now standing next to the purple square. He gently pushes it with his hand, and the square is lifted up and reveals a circular purple button.
“Remember the square of the purple,”
He is the only one to say it. He feels his throat drying. Will anyone follow?
“like the eyes of the pinklandish turtle” He hears Typewriter’s voice joining him. He smiles. Closes his eyes.
“to it allegiance we swore,” More voices join him.
“for its greats books that we adore
it is to be opened and pressed” He can still distinguish her voice from the rest.
making our death blessed” He closes his eyes.
The alarmed Bluelandians had only reacted once it was too late. In an imperfect unison, 88 capsules exploded. All the portals to the planet of Purplelandia were now shut down.
***
Rain. Fog. That was the dominant climate of Purplelandia. Most fitting for book lovers and writers.
Pinklandians had arrived in Purplelandia to honor the dead with their music.
A Bluelandian delegation had also arrived to honor the dead. The banners of purple and pink were placed next to one another, and with them, for the first time ever, the banners of blue.
The organized coup stemming from Bluelandia had successfully been stopped, with some Blue and Purple casualties.
The attendants of the ceremony were now drinking the newly imported coffee.
The pictures of the dead were not displayed as was the custom in some places of Earthlandia, but a ribbon was tied around a bulk of the writings they left behind, along with their favorite books. The ribbons carrying the names of Letter and Typewriter were laid next to one another. The writings were to be immediately published, institutions across the planets of blue and purple were to carry their names, and their books were to be promoted and read.
***
The pages started soaking the raindrops. The child quickly closes the book and tucks it safely under her jacket. In that quick moment as the book is closed, we are able to read the title: The culture of drinking coffee in Bosnia Herzegovina (Earthlandia), by Typewriter Inksson and Letter (Book) Letterino.
A small note in brackets Unedited and unfinished, due to the sudden, but noble deaths of the authors.
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6 comments
I agree with Mj Simons. This was a wild ride of a read, to me. Funny, as well. One of those stories that you just have to have an open mind to understand. Great use of dialogue and the parentheses after some of the lines too. Nice!!
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Wow! Very descriptive and creative. I love how you created a world around reading and writing concepts. Well done.
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Thank you so much! I cannot even begin to explain how much fun I had writing this one! Ideas kept coming one after the other from creating the world to coming up with witty lines or inside jokes about this universe. I sometimes forget that writing should be fun and enjoyable, and this one surely was. Thank you again :)
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Neat story, Ksenija! I like the Pangaean-like split of Earth, and what might happen as a cause of that. Thought-provoking! Some cute lines, too: - There was also a conspiracy theory that the government of Purplelandia created these positions on purpose, so the number of published books would increase. - lol - “What are you reading?” This is how the citizens of Purplelandia greeted each other. - clever aside! I really liked that idea - They would get their coffee, and these guys would get to read more. No surprise that was a nightmare fo...
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Thank you, Wendy! This was one of those stories where words just kept flowing, and it was so fun to connect one thing to another. "I feel there's a much more geo-political, deeper meaning to this" There definitely is, but there were simply not enough words to go into greater depths :D Finally, your words are beyond encouraging. Thanks again Wendy :)
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My pleasure! :)
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