When A Sociologist Turned Into A Quarter Doctor

My roommate Mr. Clifford Mkpom was among the batch B national Youth Service Corps members that met us the batch A group during my youth service year. He is one of those jolly good fellows that any sound person would like around him. 

The world and it’s inhabitants has gone fully crazy that seeing someone that exhibits any sense of decorum is regarded as something else. This generation is for sure a crooked one so credit should always go to the effort behind such upbringing, who the is behind it. 

In the local government I was posted, I was sent to a town about 35 minutes away from the Head quarter. In drafts and national duties of this kind, you don’t have a say on where to service, the lodge to stay let alone who your room mate should be. All these aspect of your service year depends on good luck.

I think that government internationally mix people of different characters up to flush some out of their closets and some inside their closets. To think that this country still have people that monitor people, observing their ways is surprising. The country have gone awry. Introverts with extroverts, half sound with half crazy, full crazy with full sound, talkative with dumbs. They just put people in a wheel like box and turn to know numbers that would surface. 

     I was occupying this room alone in the lodge just like other corpers of my batch for six months before the batch B group came calling with the rooms each were put in one evening and that was how Clifford Mkpom became my room mates for another six months. 

His temperament seems to match mine. Introvert, easy going, minding your business while knowing that it was just few months. To some as I witnessed there, six months looks and sounds like six years. They bicker, they grumble and exchange annoying words at times, engaged on things that is against rules and regulations.

There’s this guy in our batch that is in the habit of being on AWOL 80 percent of the times that was not given certificate after service, his monthly pay was even seized by the zonal supervisor and ordered to repeat a year service without pay. During certificate awarding ceremony, he believed that the authorities would tamper justice with mercy and had gone there to try his luck. I am not sure that any government in the world has such words in their dictionary.

When cheating central government is not considered sin but wisdom, justifiable action considering how government is run here some where surprise on the treatment of the guy. But just like other human endeavors, it all depends on luck. Sometimes it runs, sometimes it doesn’t. This AWOL guy own luck seems to be in dry season. Supervisor, a Muslim like him refused to play ball. 

So people, this my jolly room mate Clifford is from an educated family. His father was a doctor and our state controller of corpers was his father’s classmate in secondary school and that was how my roommate and the man came to know each other during our service year. 

That controller must have been that kind of people that believes that a child must follow in the footsteps of the parents. From the moment he realized who Clifford was, he started addressing him as Doctor and other corpers undergoing quasi military training with Clifford for three weeks with them on hearing him address Clifford as doctor, joined in doing so without back ground check, without asking his discipline. People, Clifford my room mate studied sociology and never seen the four walls of medical school before, yet, he is being addressed as doctor here, doctor there and the guy went along with the show. 

He never considered it important to clarify things with both the controller and fellow corpers. This continued for about three months even after they passed out from training camp to their places service. 

One day, there was this gathering of all the corper doctors and paramedics in the city. The state health department wanted to verify information supplied them by the state controller without letting the doctors know the actual reason for the gathering. 

During the meeting, state controller was searching for Clifford without success. The health department of the state wanted to hire five doctors from the those in service for the state was short of medical personnels. They had contacted the controller who shortlisted five names of which his classmates son was the first. He had kept the move secret from Clifford wanting it to be surprise gift. 

The state wasn’t attractive one for many corpers, not many wants to stay after service. It is never the first choice for corpers that are mainly from Christian south. Staying permanently in the Muslim north is never in anyone’s agenda. So, the state had tripled the salaries of the medical students to entice them to stay and that was reason controller had penciled his classmate son's name without asking him first. 

Health department personnels had asked the doctor to introduce themselves and was secretly eyeing their list and the names being called. After introduction, doctor Clifford was no where to be found.

       “Why is some people not here” controller asked.

Corpers were mixed and doesn’t know each other well. Batch A guys and batch B guys. When the controller mentioned Clifford name, both batches never heard of the name among their group so both had thought that it must be in the other group. They kept their mouths shut.

After the meeting, controller sent message to doctor Clifford to appear in his office. 30 minutes later, he was sitting in the man’s office: 

    “ Doctor, what happened. You wasn’t in the meeting with others today”

“ Meeting?--- what meeting?” 

“You mean you didn’t get the message like others that some state health officials wanted to talk to all the doctors today?”

“ Ah!, Sir, I am not a doctor. My discipline is sociology not medicine”

You needs to see how Clifford described the degree of disappointment written on the man face. For almost five minutes, the man didn’t talk. He sat there observing him without seeing him. It was as if he was looking through him to a figure only him is seeing.

“ You’re not a doctor? Why didn’t you let me Know all these months I address you as one?”

“ I wanted to but I just did not get that chance. Secondly, I never think it is all that important”

“ I shortlisted your name as first among the five doctors the state was seeking for and I have told one million lies on your capabilities to the state officials. Infact on account of all I said about you, they arranged that meeting to see you. Christ, how am I to let them know that the man I spent a month singing his praises wasn’t even a paramedic. Christ, these people would rate me as none entity. Even question other information from my office. Do you realize the jam you put me in now?—even my own position would be under scrutiny”

“ So sorry sir, I never knew keeping mute would lead to this”

“ Alright, alright. Please close my door on your way out”

Outside the man office, Clifford decided it would be wise to start from the staffs there to let all know he isn’t a doctor. From that office to local government Secretariat, to some other corper’s lodge and few he know that address him with that title telling all who he really is.

   “Man, it’s lesson learnt in a hard way. You need to see the controller’s face to understand fully what am describing. The man face was in full red color as I left that office” he narrated when he returned around 8:20pm from his debriefing rounds.