The Longest Walk

As Jessica left her classroom and began to walk down the breezeway, she held her books close and tried not to think of all the things she had to do. Tried not to think of how Ethan looked when he sat in front of her in class, or how he never seemed to speak to or even look at her. Tried not to rehearse how she would ask him out, if she ever found the courage.

At the end of the breezeway, Jessica turned to walk along the covered walkway that ran around the student courtyard. She never hung out there, but Ethan often did. Pausing next to one of the archway columns that lined the courtyard, she spotted him sitting alone with a book on the other side. It was now or never. It would take ten seconds to cross the courtyard to where Ethan was sitting. Ten heartbeats for Jessica to work up the courage to ask him out… or chicken out once again.

Ten.

Jessica stepped out of the shadows of the archway, her heart starting to beat faster. Could she really do this? Could she tell him how she felt? The sun hit her right cheek as she entered the courtyard, and it felt like every one of the dozen or so people sitting around was watching, waiting to see how this scene would play out. Glancing left and right revealed that not a single person was looking in her direction, but it didn’t help. If she was rejected, people would surely find out, sooner or later.

Nine.

Eyes locked on Ethan, Jessica prayed that he wouldn’t look up until she was close. To see him look up and watch her as she got closer and closer, that would be far more nerve-wracking than this short walk already was. She smiled as she noted the red-gold glint of the sunlight on his dark hair. He really should be wearing a hat, particularly at this time of year in Australia. Typical tough boy, he’d probably reject the idea of sun safety out of hand if she mentioned it. Not a topic for today though. Jessica had other things she wanted to say.

Eight.

Could she do this? He’d barely spoken to her in class, never outside of class. Partnered once for a project, they’d shared a common interest in the subject material, but once completed, he’d run off to another class and they hadn’t spoken since. Would he want to talk to her now? Surely he would have talked to her before now if he’d wanted to. Maybe she should turn around and go home. He obviously didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, with that book in his hand.

Seven.

What book was that? It didn’t look like the one they needed to read for class. Far too thick. Not as big as the one Jessica was carrying to read on the bus, but big enough. It was another mark in his favour if he read books that size by choice. Jessica smiled. If he agreed to a date and let her choose the location, maybe they could go to that new bookstore/café down the road. Coffee and books sounded like a great date to her. What would he think?

Six.

Nearly halfway across. Now would be the time to turn away, if she wanted to. Anything later and it would look obvious that she was changing direction. Did she want to? One way or another, things would be different in the future if she asked him out. A positive response, and they would go on a date. A negative response, and they would likely end up awkwardly avoiding each other for a long time, maybe even the rest of the year. Was it worth the risk? Did she want this badly enough? She wanted him to say yes, but what if he said no?

Five.

A quick glance to the left showed Jessica that she was being watched. Her best friend, Sandy, must have noticed who she was walking towards, as she looked at Jessica with the biggest grin on her face. Jessica’s mind flashed with replays of all the conversations they’d had about Ethan. Sandy claimed that Ethan liked her back but was just too shy to say anything. How she had formed this opinion, she refused to say. However, she was giving a thumbs-up now, along with the grin, so obviously that opinion had not changed.

Four.

Getting close now. This was the longest ten seconds of her life. Longer than the ten seconds it took to get on stage for that award last month. Then, she’d just been glad not to trip on the steps. No steps to trip on here, just the smooth concrete of the courtyard. That didn’t mean that she couldn’t trip on her own feet. Eyes fixed on Ethan now, she concentrated on picking up her feet as she walked. It wouldn’t do to fall into his lap as she tripped on nothing.

Three.

Would he ever look up? He still had his nose in whatever book he was reading. She started moving slower as it occurred to her that there was no turning back now. Way too close to just go in another direction, she was committed to talk to him, no matter what. If she didn’t ask him out, what could she talk about? No pending assignments, no recent marks, not even an approaching holiday time. Maybe his book? Their last class together?

Two.

Finally, Ethan looked up. What was he thinking? Was he glad to see her? Was he annoyed that she’d interrupted his reading? When she was reading, she had to really like the person who was interrupting to not get annoyed. He blinked twice, then smiled and pulled out a scrap of paper he was obviously using as a bookmark, placing it in the book and laying it down. No discernible flicker of annoyance. Could she do it?

One.

“Hello Ethan. May I sit with you?”