Together Again

I sat on the edge of our lookout, once again alone. Still, it would always be our lookout, because it stopped being mine alone when I opened my heart to her. I sat and watched the tide roll in and crash against the rocks below. 

Lost in memories, I closed my eyes and began to hum. Though barely a whisper passed my lips, it did not matter… because in my mind, I could hear her sing again.

Her voice was the sound of my childhood. Through the song that replayed on my mind, I could see two kids running around on the very stone I sat on now. Throwing rocks and running with sticks as they enjoyed the freedoms that few could. I remembered the laughter, the joy, the peace.

We grew up here together, and it seemed like one of those things that would not ever have to come to an end… so goes the wishful thinking of a child.

Then we grew up, and our friendship blossomed into romance.

Together we sat, hands intertwined. We watched the sun dive into the ocean, and the vivid hues of the sunset give way to the sparkling night sky. She peeked at me from behind the curtains of her straight black hair, and she whispered to me.

“You know I love you right?”

I let go of her and pushed myself up. She followed me with her eyes but did not move otherwise. I offered my hand to her and replied, “I love you too.”

She smiled and took my offered hand, rising into my arms.

“I know.” she giggled. “I just wanted to make sure before I do this.” She leaned in and kissed me gently.

Secluded in our little heaven on earth, we were free to be ourselves. She was a ray of moonlight. She danced in the dark under the shine of the stars, the sound of the night was her rhythm. Birds roosting in the treetops and the hum of the insects in the undergrowth, they set her pace as she flowed barefoot over the grass. In her movements, you could see years of practice and confidence that made it impossible to look away.

Just when I thought the magic would end. She opens her mouth and the soft sound of music drifts past her lips. Sung in a voice so soft that the words are lost, but the rise and fall of the rhythm match her movements.

For a time life was good. Then it came time to say goodbye.

In the years after high school, we went our separate ways. With tears and hugs, we said our goodbyes while making promises to return someday. Something that did not come to pass for many, many years.

I open my eyes and hum the last note of the song. Looking out over the water, I couldn’t help but wonder if I should finally stop living in the past. Those times were happier, but maybe I can move on now.

It was only when a rock skittered across the ground that I realized that I was no longer alone.

“You still do not sing?” she asked. 

“I still can’t, that has not changed,” I replied, bowing my head bashfully

“No, I guess not,” she said while awkwardly shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“How many years has it been?” I said with a sigh, returning my eyes to the horizon. I was not sure how to meet her gaze, or really how I should address someone that I had not seen for so long. If I looked at her, would I see the girl she had once been to me, or would she be a woman that I knew nothing of?

“That I can not answer, numbers were always your thing,” she said. I chuckled to myself humorlessly.

“I guess that means you broke your first promise, that you would count the days until you came home.” I didn’t mean to sound as spiteful as it came out, but my aching heart seemed to poison the words as they left my mouth.

“Is that why you can not bear to look me in the eye?” her voice sounded wounded.

A silence fell between us. Unlike the ones of the past, this one was brittle and felt like the calm before a storm rather than peaceful.

“I fear that you are no longer the perfect image of you that I have held onto for so many years”

“Is it so wrong if I am not?” she replied softly. I had no immediate answer, so gave into the silence that fell heavily between us.

“Is it so wrong?” she repeated and sat herself down next to me. I could not refuse to look at her any longer. I turned my head a fraction and looked at her out of the corner of my eye.

For a moment, I was just stunned, then I blurted out, “you dyed your hair!”

She looked back at me and frowned for a few seconds before she burst out laughing. I watched in bewilderment as she laughed till she was holding her sides. I couldn't ignore how beautiful the sound was, or how good she looked with sandy blonde hair flowing down over the front of her shoulders.

“I had forgotten. I used to dye my hair so often that you wouldn't have remembered which one was my natural hair colour. This is it.” she said when her giggling fit finally subsided.

‘Hmmm, I honestly thought it was black.”

“You like it?” she said shyly like she was asking my opinion on something very personal.

“Yeah, it suits you better. Why did you decide to go back to natural?”

“University budgets leave very little room for such frivolous things.” she sighed.

“Frivolous things?” I teased. She gave me a mock dirty look before smiling. I felt my heart melt just seeing that smile again. I smiled back, and at that moment I knew.

I knew that everything was going to be alright.

She started telling me about university and work, living life in a new city. I told her about how my life had progressed in that time. It was nice to hear so many stories. Sometimes I laughed, sometimes I shook my head in disapproval, but all the while, there was one question burning on my tongue the whole time, and I did not know how to ask it. In the end, I couldn't help but beat around the bush.

“You have talked a lot about social life, but it sounds like it has been a lonely one.”

“Mmm,” she sighed, but did not elaborate. I nearly decided to drop it when I saw her lip twitch. The one giveaway in her poker face that I had teased her over so many times.

“Surely you must have had so many boys down there fighting over themselves to get to such a gorgeous woman like yourself,” I said, laying it on thick, my heart starting to beat faster.

“Oh, so many of them.” she agreed.

“...and…?” I motioned for her to continue.

“And nothing.” she shrugged. “Nothing happened.”

“Why is that?” I asked, knowing the answer, but needing to hear it from her.

“Because… There are two more promises that I once made, so long. The second one was that I would always find my way back home.”

“And the third one?” I asked gently. She rose and offered me an outstretched hand. I accepted it and rose to my feet, opening my arms and enveloping her in a hug.

“My third promise, to love you forever,” she whispered into my ear.