The Appointment

I remember my appointment, I remember my appointment, I remember my appointment. 

Tuesday at 2. Tuesday at 2. Tuesday at 2. 

…I’m totally going to forget again, I need to put a reminder in my phone.

Where’s my phone? Crap, where did I put it now? Is it in the kitchen?

Maybe I can make up a song to help me remember the appointment. What’s a good song to use…Oh, I know! Breakfast at Tiffany’s, I love that song!

“And I said, when is my, appointment with the doooooctor,

I said, I think it’s Tuesday at 2, and 

If I recall, I think, it’s for ADHD and,

I can’t miss another appointment this time!”

Oooh, that’s good, I should have been a song writer. Or a poem writer. Or something with rhyming. It’s a lot of fun to come up with rhymes. 

Rhymes

Times

Limes

Slimes

Chimes

Grimes…

Nope, phone’s not in the kitchen, where else have I been?

Holy crap I have to pee. How long have I been holding it? I don’t know if I’ve even gone yet today. 

Yet today. Sounds like Yesterday. 

“Yesterday

Love was such an easy gaaaame to play”

The Beatles were such an awesome group. Which one was it that got shot? I need to Google it. Where’s my phone?

But pee first, or I’m going to explode. I wonder if anyone has ever exploded from pee. I bet there’s such a thing as a burst bladder. I should Google it. Where’s my phone?

Dammit, I have to pee!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, soooo much better. Did I wash my hands? I better rewash them. Where’s the soap, how long have I been out of soap? I need to get some more out of the cabinet.

What the hell is my phone doing in the cabinet???

Oh yeah, I was folding towels, but got distracted by the messy cabinet, I must have put it down when I started cleaning. Maybe I should keep cleaning the cabinet, I never finished, and it’s a mess. No wonder I can’t ever find anything in here.

How old is this shampoo? Do they even put an expiration date on shampoo?

I should Google it. Where’s my phone? Where the hell did I put it this time, I literally just had it a second ago. 

Oh, there it is by the sink, why is it by the sink? Oh, right, I need to find some new soap to wash my hands. Screw this cabinet, I’ll just go wash them in the bathroom downstairs. I may as well take these clothes laying all over the floor down to the laundry room, save myself a trip, since I’m already headed down there.

God, it stinks down here, what is that smell? Oh, right, I forgot about the load in the washer from a few days ago. It’s so funny how washing clothes can make them smell bad, if you wait long enough. I guess I’ll run it again, and just lay this pile with the other piles waiting to be washed. 

Well, I feel accomplished! I started a load of laundry, and that’s something!

What was I doing again? I was going to Google something…

Something in the way, she moves

Blah blah blah blah, no other lover”

What are the rest of those lyrics? I can’t remember, I should Google it.

Where’s my phone? I seriously need to add an Air Tag to that thing, or a key finder fob thing. Or maybe I could invent something, so that if you walk too far away from your phone, it alerts you. I wonder how much patents cost? I should go ahead and buy the domain name now, for when I have a product up and running. I could use, “FindmyPhone.com,” I wonder if it’s been taken. I should Google it.

Where’s my phone? Oh, it’s over there in that pile of clothes I brought down. See, I can remember things when I try really hard! I don’t know why they even think I have ADHD, that’s a kid’s disorder, don’t most people grow out of it? I should Google it.

Crap! Crap! Crap! I need to put that appointment reminder in my phone. I’m going to do it right now. Right…now…

Oooh, a notification for that sale I forgot about. I had better click on it real quick before I forget to look again.  I don’t know how many candles I have, but there’s always room for more! They’re utilitarian, and that makes it not hoarding.

Haha, look, they have a scent called, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” I love that song. Oh, wait, my appointment. Shit, I really need to put that reminder in. 

You know what, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the video for that song. 

I should Google it.

Well, that was a weird way to waste 4 minutes and 14 seconds of my life. Did they have a budget of $5 dollars to make that? It looks like they just walked around New York City with some random props and guitars and filmed it at weird angles. The most expensive thing in the whole video was the dinner.

Dinner. Man, I’m hungry, did I eat today? I should eat something, but I don’t want to cook, because then I’d have to wash dishes, and it will take forever. I want Doordash.

Hmmmm, Indian, Pizza, Chinese, Burgers, Chinese…I don’t know what I want, and I’ve already been looking for half an hour. How long will it take to get something delivered? 40 minutes???? I’ll just heat up some ramen, I can’t wait any longer.

Ramen

Common

Lawman

The Common Lawman eating Ramen

I bet I could write a story about a cop eating noodles. Maybe he slings his noodles at the bad guys or something like that. It could be a bestseller, if I sat down to write it. I should think of the title and make an outline. I wonder if anyone’s ever written a book about a ramen-eating detective.

I should Google it.