New, Improved Axis

“So yeah. We’re here.”

“I am. Can’t say the same about you.”

“Sure. Whatever. What’s next?”

“You tell me and we’ll both know. Okay, you’re right. That wasn’t fair. I think we go up to the door. One of us waits outside, one of us goes in and scopes the scene out. Ready to see who does what? Rock paper scissors. I have rock. You?”

“Hey hey hey. I haven’t agreed to any of this no matter how irresistibly charming you think you are. What happens after we scope the place out?”

“Geez must I be the brains of every. Single. Step? We compare notes and see if it’s worth the risk. Duh.”

“Hmm. It’s already not worth the hassle.”

“Got a better idea? I’m all ears. Not just the two you see on my head. Don’t let them fool you. I have many many more. Hooded, bat, candle flame...”

“So do I. Which is why I’m not impressed by your bragging. Don’t roll your eyes at me!”

“I think if the scene meets my high standards—my standards, not your sub par criteria based on fun—-we go for it. No more back and forth. We just go full steam ahead without any second guesses. Deal? Touch my grubby paw if you agree. If you don’t agree, fine. Then offer something else. All of my ears are waiting.”

“Present paw please.”

“Shaky shaky and we’re a go go go.”

“Per usual. When are we not a go go go?”

“I just like to make it official. I can’t help it. I’m German!”

“Well I’m Japanese. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Only everything. Our approaches are very different.”

“Which is why we get on so well. We fill in the missing blanks for each other.”

“Yes we do. Let’s get ‘er done!”

“I’ll go first but you be the leader.”

“Yes. Normal operation.”

“Then why are you leaving without me? Wait up!”

“Oh sorry. Get a move on!”

“You make me hurl sometimes. I’m behind your tail! Get that thing out of my face! I’m leading the charge!”

“Whatever you say buddy. The keepers of the Insiders don’t have a prayer next to us! Even if they were um, actually on duty.”

“Okay. Now we’re here. Instead of there What’s next? After I stop panting.”


“Now I go in and you wait for my instructions until I get back.”


“What do I do if you get in a tough spot? What do I do if you don’t return?”

“Neither of those are a possibility. This door isn’t locked properly. I’ll sneak in through the gap I nudge but be sure to leave it only closed over. Don’t accidentally knock it shut.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. I know the drill. Banzai!”

“Looky what I found!”

“Back already?! I should be used to this by now. Are those keys?”

“Yes indeedy. So. We go in. We leave this door wide open. I unlock each cage since I have the experience with these dangly things. You point the way to freedom and hoi erstaunlich!” ”Perfect strategy. As always. Go go go!”

“Hey, that’s my command! You’re such a superior right paw Samurai let’s keep it that way.”

“I am a leader not a sidekick but if it make you feel good bark what you need to.”

“Less bark more do, you. Keep up. Doors one through five are already unlocked. Get them to pipe down then lead them out. By then I should have the next five ready for you.”

“I’m over here! Look up! Incoming! Or should I say, down leaping!”

“Would it hurt to warn me? Geez Louise!”

“I’m not Louise. Moving on...you do the same...”

“Right oh glorious Samurai!”

“All done oh slacker Comrade!”

“If I had the time I’d resent that. Okay this set is ready. Move move move!” “On it. Let’s go Insiders! Come on out the freedom’s fine!”

“Right that way girls. And dudes. Studley dudes!”

“Sissy. Eyes on the prize.”

“Which one? Lots of handsome to look at. Next five ready for you NOW!”

“Go go go! Right this way dams and sires! ”

“And don’t tell me not a single one of these distressed dam-sels meet your fun quotient.” “They all do but I’m keeping my nose down and focus on high. Like you taught me. So there.” “I’m impressed. Could it be I’m a good example after all?”

“You’re an example all right. Of what exactly I’m not sure but either way we’re stuck with each other.”

“Even if by default It’s a good thing. Moving on. Next room, last room. Keep up please.”

“We still have a bunch of Insiders on the wrong side of the front door!”

“Nine. There are nine milling about in the hall. Go over there, swing the door open further and give them a reason to follow you. You’re intact. Which will appeal to everyone for different reasons I should say. Show the ladies your style and the gents their competition.”

“There is no competition. I am a Samurai and they are not. Ladies, line forms to the left!” “That’s the right you’re pointing to. And this top shelf of Insiders is waiting for instructions. I’m down to the last seven cells. Go go go!”

“Umpf. This shelf is higher than the last one. Okay everybody, come on out and follow me! The jump is eazy peazy——see?”

“Glad they believe everything they’re told. No matter who’s saying it.”

“Follow your tomodachi!”

“You know I love it when you bark in your native tongue.”

“Good thing you’re my Sissy.”

“Get your doggo mind out of the gutter. That’s not what I meant and you know it. I admire your bloodlines is what I was trying to say. They go back so much farther than mine. All cages empty, hall empty...let’s see what’s going on outside.”

“Insiders nowhere to be seen outside. I think they discovered how much they liked the freedom in two minutes. Thank goodness this prison is surrounded by the best kind of people.”

“You mean hitobito?”

“When did you learn to use the Google translator? I’m impressed.”

“Mission accomplished. Let’s go home. Lead the way most esteemed Samurai.”