A start of a singers journey

Chapter 1 Natalie 

I am basically a girl in high school in South Korea Seoul, but I wasn’t born here I was born in LA California. But ever since my mom died when I was three. I’m Korean American that’s what my dad says. I have an American mom and a Korean dad. My mom was a very popular American country singer, and my dad is a very popular k pop singer. So you could imagine what my life was like growing up. My mom collapsed on stage during one of her concerts me being young I just thought she was tired and needed sleep.  

But when my dad got to eye level and told me she was dead. That’s when my heart broke, I was never the same the music industry my mom was working for was not the kindest and just loved making a quick buck off of other celebrities. I idolize my mom and dad wanting to become a idol but they warned me my life would never be the same. Love life would be rough especially if I was together with anthor idol. So, I knew I had to be careful what industry I chose to work for. But I never really looked for love, to be honest all I needed were all my best friends. 

Being a trainee is tough, from dance practice to trying to get the right pitch is rough. But we work through it. “Natalie why weren’t you at dance practice we wanted to practice the biggest part of our dance routine did you chicken out” Faith says basically giving me a stern expression like she wants to knock me aside the head. “Omg that was today I’m the leader of our group and I forgot the biggest part I’m so sorry please could you ever forgive me” I say pleading because I have so much on my plate, I can rarely keep count of what I have to do and not do. My friends and father tell me to stop pushing myself when I basically can’t help but dance, sing, and run on caffeine. But she just sighs and gives me a sympathic look. “Please start taking better care of yourself Nat you litterly are beating yourself to a pulp or maybe will eventually” Faith looks like she's begging for mercy when she tells me to stop but I just chuckle. 

“I will try but no promises you know me how I love to push myself to the limit and can’t help it it’s basically part of me at this point because pushing yourself is how you get to realize and discover new things” I say chuckling with a smile. But I put on a forced smile because I know my mental health is awful. When I look at her face, she has a firm expression with her arms crossed. “Natalie if you don’t get your act together who knows what can happen you can drop dead of exhaustion or when you are on stage performing your a 18 year old performer who knows what can happen your body needs to relax” Faith puts her hands on both of my shoulders giving me a begging and stern expression. I’m the leader of a young popular k pop girl group and here I am not listening to advice. Advice my best friends are giving me. 

“I...I don’t know Faith so much has been on my mind I’m stressed out with music and school also our future like college I don’t know what to do at this point I think I’m scared Faith I’m scared I’m going to fail every single one of you” I say basically on the verge of tears filling up my eyes. I’ve never really had faith in myself because I struggle like every single celebrity I have met. Mean some celebrities believe in themselves and are all joyful and happy. But just because you see a smile doesn’t mean you don’t know what's going on underneath. A smile is a tool people use to hide emotion to make others think you're happy when sometimes you're not. Sometimes when I throw on a smile people ask if you are happy or hiding something you don’t want others to know about.  

“Well, I have to go Faith see you around” I say basically bolting to the dance studio to get ready for the next day. I bet she is so confused on why I just made a run for it instead of just walking away. But I didn’t want her trying to catch up to me to stop me from doing work. I need to practice my choreography for our next music video. I need to make it I’m a fast runner so I hope I can get to the studio and practice before I have to make it to my next class. This school doesn’t care if you run in the halls which is surprising to me. I want to work hard for my friends and prove to the company I work for that I can be successful like all the other artists. 

I place my stuff down on the ground and look dead in the mirror, turn the music on and start singing the lyrics to myself. While I dance, I try not to doubt what I’m doing because I know what I’m doing is correct. My dad told me not to care what the company or my music manager thinks of my work. Just do what makes me happy, that’s the key to becoming a successful k pop artist. My lover Namjoo also would tell me to slow down but this song is something I’m not giving up on. I work hard where I am now, and I will continue to work hard as a trainee. 

Out of nowhere the music cuts out which confuses me I turn around and there’s Namjoo. “Tell me why you're working yourself to the bone again” He, says basically giving me the same look Faith gave me a few hours ago. I just stand there dead silent not knowing if I should stay quiet or ignore him and keep pushing. “I am not pushing myself to the bone I’m just trying to get work done” Thats basically what I tell myself so that way I can keep myself denial in check. Even though he probably thinks I’m perfect k pop singer and dancer. But perfect should not be a word because nobody is perfect. 

“Hey Nat, why won’t you take a break, and we go get some lunch from the 7 eleven downtown you know a lunch date” he says giving me a sympathy look. I always loved our lunch dates. It was something nice he would do for me anytime I had a long day. “Um sure I guess I could go for something to eat” I was actually really excited because ramen and sparkling water sounded so good.  

“Then stop standing around let's go” 

“Okay let me grab my duffle bag and we can head out Namjoo” Thats what we did we left and went to go food. 

Chapter 2 Namjoo 

Honestly like all of my friends and Natalies friends we worry she pushes herself too hard. Like no matter how hard we tell her she doesn't want to listen, not even to me. But I don’t push her and neither do her friends because she always has a lot on her plate. “How's that ramen and water because you seem to be enjoying it a lot” I pointed out as she is basically stuffing her face with noodles. “I’m loving it you even bought me sushi that has cream cheese in it which thank you I wish I can try and do something for you but I don’t know what” She says basically giving me a look that seems like she feels bad that I got her something extra when I dang well she maybe hasn’t eaten all day. Because she sometimes doesn't eat to stay skinny even if that’s not how your body works. She pushes herself too hard but I’m not goanna push her right now just because were having a great time eating. “I don’t think you had breakfast today hints why I bought you the side sushi rolls”  

I say basically realizing 50/50 chance I maybe started up drama. But I didn’t care I was just pointing out the truth if she hated me for basically looking out for the love of my life then so be it. I’m not going to watch her starve herself to death. “But I did have breakfast I yogurt with fruit” Natalie says looking at me giving me a firm look. “That’s more of a small breakfast or a snack than a filling breakfast” I say confused but she just rolls her eyes. Thats one thing I love about her; her sarcasm is funny and entertaining.  

But I’m not going to control what she wants to do or what she does with her life. But I know Natalie has had a rough life espically when it comes to her childhood. Natalie lost her mom due to the entertainment industry driving her mother to the ground. Her mom was an American country singer while her dad is a k pop singer. So, she basically can talk in two different languages. Which that's anthor thing I love about her, she is a mix of two different cultures. 

“Natalie, would you like to visit LA you know the United States for a vacation” But when I offer that she just keeps looking up at the sky. I just stand there confused why is she just standing there and not responding. But then she just starts singing to herself which me knowing her for a while it means she is stressed. Also thinking of things, she shouldn’t be thinking about or just trauma in general. So, I laid my chin on her shoulder with arms wrapped around her waist. “What’s on your mind dear” She immediately snaps out of her thoughts. 

“Oh, nothing just thinking of how good the crab sushi wrap is” She, says looking at the cherry blossom trees while are feet dangle from the edge of the bridge. “You're hiding something that you don’t want to say out loud I have known you for too long I know when you're okay and when something is wrong so spill” I basically say in a firm voice. But knowing her she won’t spill. She is a girl who keeps all her emotions balled up inside. Also never ask anyone for help. Then I realize she is looking over the edge maybe wondering if she could drown herself if she were to jump off right now. 

Thats why I don’t trust her near bridge like AT ALL. I trust her with all my heart but when it comes to standing somewhere high yeah no, she needs someone with her. I don’t treat her like she’s a child I treat her the way she doesn't end up getting killed. I look over and see her eyes just filling up with tears and I hate it. I pulled her close and sept no one was around I just told her to just let it out. No one came to this spot in the park so if you needed to cry or breakdown this would be a great spot.  

Natalie buries her face into my shoulder and grips onto my shoulder tight like she’s begging for mercy. I didn’t mind as long as she wasn’t hiding her emotions, I was okay with being the person she could lay her head on. But I pull her close, so she feels somewhat comfortable. We graduate next week so that just adds more pressure to her, I guess. “Hey, do you want to hear some of my new song I wrote” I say trying to change the subject. “Oh, really I can’t wait to hear it your going to give me a sneak preview” She asks which I don’t know why she is shocked when I always give her a sneak preview and she always gives me a preview of her songs so I guess even. 

I give her headphones, and she listens to it and judging by her facial expression she likes it so far. “It looks good love” she gives a thumbs up. But she is maybe curious about the choreography. She gets curious about almost everything. “Do you want to see the choreography love it’s more unique then the others we have done so I know you will love it” I basically ask because I want to know if she is interested before I actually show her. But to be honest she is a curious person so I know she wants to know what’s going on. 

“Alright love show me what you got I want to see what kind of dance moves you have to show I’m excited to see what you got” She says with that innocent sweet as sugar voice she has. Even though deep down she is like a demon but I like that about her. So I basically show her the basics of the dance and the quick parts. She just sits there and admires my dancing. I thank her for the support she gives me. 

Chapter 3 Natalie- 

To be honest I could watch him dance all day to the point it puts a smile on my face. He admires my voice and moves which as well I really need to get to work on my part. I have not been doing my best with work of dancing and singing. But I am trying to not over work myself like I always do. My two older brothers Taewoo and Seojin always have told me to overwork myself because we don’t need to have the same problem that happened to my mom. Which basically she overworked herself to the point she dropped on stage. (Cliff hanger :3)