Regret (Backstory to Mommy's girl)

Author's note: This is the backstory to “Mommy’s girl” and talks about Bella’s mother before she was born.

“I’m having a baby.” I finally shouted at his face. “Ok?”

“Woah...hold up...you're serious?” He asked me.

I nodded, my lips quivered with fear as he held my hand in his. I didn't know how to react anymore. 

I looked up to see his pale brown eyes look affectionately at me but I couldn't risk my child having anything to do with this issue my love of my life faced. It was his problem and he already dragged me in it. I couldn't drag my precious in too.

“Please, let me go.” I grinned my teeth as I said this. I didn't want to leave him, my home, my everything...he had been there for me...but now...I need to be there for my unborn child.

“No...don’t go...nothing will happen to our child.” He assured me but I forcefully removed his hand from mine.

“I'm sorry.” I stated. “I have no other choice.” With that I dashed out the door. I noticed him looking concerned as I left but he didn't try to stop me.

******************

Ever since the first time I saw him, I had loved him. He was my world, my life, my soul-mate for life…

“Kevin, come on, don’t mess with me.” I said one day, we were in college, our second year, Kevin and I had been friends since middle school.

“I’m not joking Rachel, I want you to be mine...forever.” He looked deeply inside me as if he could read my mind which at that time was blanked out.

“Will you?” He asked again since I didn't respond.

“Yes.” I breathed. 

He smiled as he hugged me tightly. 

“I love you.” He whispered in my ear. “Always.”

I smiled.

I thought I could be happy with Kevin but I was wrong. A year had passed since we had been together more than just friends. It was just another normal Sunday afternoon. I was inside our small apartment in Tennessee where we lived since we were little. I was studying for my finals exams in a few weeks. Kevin had gone out to buy groceries.

When I was about done with my revisions the doorbell rang. 

Wow...he was a fast shopper, I thought as I approached the door. Hesitant I opened it...turns it it wasn't Kevin...it was the police.

Without a glance at me they stormed through the door into my apartment. I tried to stop them and demand to know what's going on but they didn't give me a chance to speak up.

“Where is Mr. Drew?” One finally asked me. 

“Tell me one good reason why I should tell you.” I barked back, I couldn't have some nosy police know private information.

One of the police, who seemed in his early 20s was the tallest...and the strongest looking faced me...he had a scar on his left hand as he showed me his ID card. 

Inspector Trevor Hunts

I looked up at him again. He gestured at me to speak. 

“So?” I shrugged, my arms were folded. “Why do you need to know where he is?”

“Madam, this is serious business, we were trying to catch this rogue for a while, we are very close, please tell us.” Another police piped up from behind Trevor.

“What did he do? he’s innocent.” I stated, Kevin wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

Trevor signed and signaled one of his men to come forward. 

“Mr. Drew is a criminal, he has stolen millions of dollars from big banks, every time we try and catch him...he...well escapes...we found out from locals that they have seen him in this town...so we came here and searched...Trevor got a lead from someone close from your place and we came here.” The shortest police officer said, catching big breaths.

“What?” I narrowed my eyes at them. “You must be mistaken...I...Kevin would not do such a thing.” I conformed to them. “He’s innocent?” I felt my heart on fire, that statement came out as a question, could I doubt he’s innocent, is he really?

“Will you tell me, you will be safe, if you don’t then you will get in unwanted trouble as you support a criminal.” Trevor spoke in the kindest voice he could have managed. “Understand our dilemma.”

“But...he’s…” I started. “What will you do with him?”

“Max punishment if he's found guilty by court is ten years prison time.” The shortest police answered.

Before I could reject their biddings the door opened and Kevin showed up inside...with the police ready to pounce on him.

“Leave him alone.” I cried out, the police had handcuffed him.

“Lets go.” Trevor ordered. 

I looked back to see Kevin’s face once again, he was sweating as he was taken. I held my hand out...he saw me standing...isolated...the neighbors were watching as Kevin was shoved into the police cruiser. 

I saw Kevin mouth, “I love you.”

*************

It had been a week since Kevin was gone. Tomorrow was the trial day where I needed to gather information about Kevin being innocent...I didn’t have any leads thought. I looked and searched...all day and night...but I had no proof he was innocent.

Walking through the court felt like my heart was stabbed. My feet felt like I was walking on thorns. I managed to wipe my tears clean. I didn’t want Kevin to see me cry.

I took a seat next to an old lady. Looking forward all times, I fiddled with my fingers as I was breathing...in and out….I reminded myself….in and out.

He walked in...my heart fell into shatters as I saw him in a black and white shirt and pants. I had never imagined him to wear those clothes. 

I heard people boo him. I closed my eyes and thought about all the fun times I’ve had with him. The first time I met him...I had hated him at first sight but then we became really close...I reminded myself how he said he loved me. 

“Are you ok?” The old woman next to me asked, she seemed worried.

“Yes.” I replied but in my head it was a no.

I focused on his face, he seemed in distress and I couldn’t do anything about it.

The judge hit her gavel...everyone quieted down at once.

The judge asked who all had witnessed against the defendant. A few people raised their hands and shared their views. I couldn’t bear to hear all the ill things they said about him. The judge asked for witnesses on the defendants side.

With a defeated sigh I got up and walked towards the judge and the police who had brought him here.

“I don’t have any proof but in my heart he is innocent.” I replied, my eyes were filled with tears.

“That’s not a good proof.” The heartless judge told me. “Well, anyone else?”

I looked back, no one raised their hands. 

Please, someone anyone, I thought but everyone was against him. I felt faint, was I going to lose him?

“Well...since no one volunteered I guess this matter is finished.” And with that the judge tapped her gavel three times. “Case closed.” She muttered. I saw the policeman flash a smile at each other. I was doomed...Kevin remained calm...but I knew he was panicking on the inside.

The police named Trevor grabbed Kevin and husked him off...to prison. I felt the adrenaline kick in me.

*************

“Hey, how are you holding up.” He asked me.

It had been a month since he was in jail. I only got to visit him once a week but a glass shield separated us. 

I looked back at his twinkling eyes, his humorous smile, his loving face. 

I remained silent and tears rolled down my cheek. Kevin signed as he grabbed my hand from below the shield.

“Will you do me a favor?” He asked. His face was serious now. I nodded slowly.

“I have a way to get out of here, one of my jail mates told me how…” He started whispering slowly to me. My eyes were frantic as he told me his plan.

“You’ll get caught.” I muttered, my throat was dry but I didn’t care.

“No, not if you help me.” He countered. “Are you with me?” 

I looked at him, his hopeful expression...I could not let him down...but...am I doing the right thing?

“Yes.” I finally managed to say. “I’ll help you.”

“Thanks so much Rachel.” He squeezed my hands once more and departed as the time was up.

That night I couldn’t sleep, I knew this was wrong but then why am I supporting it?

No, I love him, I thought masking away the pain of betrayal.

But is it worth it? I thought all night...and I still had no answer.

The plan was to take place in a day and I still haven't made up my mind...will I risk my sanity for him?

*************

“So glad you made it.” He said, I could barely make him out. It was midnight, precisely 1 a.m.

We decided that if I could steal the keys that one of the police officers always hangs next to stall# 22 then I could open stall# 25 and Kevin will be free...but the question is...can I do this without getting caught?

I silently speed walked and dodged obstacles on the way there. I noticed a police officer standing near the keys watching something in his phone. I waited but the police didn’t seem to have any plans to move so I searched my pocket...bullseye...I took out my charm bracelet that my grandma had given me when I was twelve before she passed away. Was it worth giving something that reminded me of my loving grandmother...no...focus Rachel...I told myself.

With a lousy aim I threw the bracelet far away from where I was crunched down hiding away from plain sight.

The bracelet landed with a scratched sound. The man looked at the direction I stood. I held my breath.

The man glanced to where the noise had come from and left his post near the key. 

This was my chance, I scurried to the key and grabbed it and never looked back. 

“You got it!” He was rejoiced as he saw me with the key. I looked at him shyly and opened the cell door silently.

I was soon in his hands embracing him. He didn’t let me go until he remembered where we were standing.

“Lets go.” He grabbed my hand and we made a run for it. I led him away from where I had come from. Once we were outside into the fresh air, we smiled at each other.

“Thanks.” He said.

I didn’t answer him as I glanced back at the scary looking prison. Then I heard the sirens...they must have found out Kevin escaped.

We ran to where I had parked our car and drove off...we could still hear the sirens behind us.

“Where do we go?” I asked as I stepped on the gas as I drove my fastest speed record.

“Not home, that’s for sure, they know where we live.” He replied.

“Then?”

“My brother lives in Mississippi, we could go there.”

We decided to escape to Mississippi. I drove us home and we quickly grabbed any stuff we could find and got in the car again...Kevin in the driver’s seat this time.

I could no longer hear the sirens...but...I knew this wasn't the last of them.

We drove all day and night. It took us a few days to reach Mississippi in a car but we reached there...finally...my stomach was feeling upset caused by the bumpy ride here.

“Bro, how ya been.” We had just parked our car at Gail’s driveway. Gail seemed happy to see his brother and both soon were embracing. I smiled politely at Gail and his wife Katy and their girls Issa and Ruby. 

I had to miss my finals test. My phone kept buzzing, a reminder from my school I had been absent during the most important day...the finals. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be ok.” He assured me.

“I know.” I whispered back.

************

“Last month a criminal...Kevin Drew Junior has escaped from our clutches, he is roaming the city, be on a lookout for him and his fellow sidekick who has helped him escape.”

I was getting agitated by hearing the same words on the news all over again...sidekick...seriously?

I looked at Kevin playing with his nieces. I had to ask him...the doubt I’ve had for a while…

“Kevin can I talk to you...alone.” I gestured at the kids.

“Sure, I’ll be right back.” He told the girls and followed me. I took a deep breath, I can do this...hopefully.

“What’s up?” He asked in a suspicious manner.

“I...I need to know.” I said straight forward.

“About?” He questioned me, his eyebrows in a confused expression.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Look...it’s…”He stared but I cut him off. 

“Don’t lie to me...did you really...rob.” I made sure to say the ending in a whisper he could only hear.

“Do you think I did?”

“What I think doesn’t matter.” I stared into his guilty expression as I flat-out told him. “I’m done with this...we can’t keep running away for the rest of our lives...I thought you loved me.” I said in my lowest voice I could manage without breaking down.

“I do.” He replied.

“Then tell me...the truth.”

He stared past me as he nodded. I was taken by surprise. I had supported a criminal...did that make me one too?

“How could you…” I walked past him but he caught my hand before I could run.

“Please...listen...I”

I held out my hand. He stopped as mixed emotions played across his face.

“Don’t.” I said as he let me go. I ran to the door and closed it behind me. I regret it...I REGRET it...I wish I didn’t save him...I wish I never met him...he was probably using my emotions so he has someone to help him escape out of innocence and...love.

I walked to a nearby park. The fresh air really helped me cool off but I felt adrenaline flowing through my body… I felt faint and uncomfortably hot. I sat down on a bench as I sweated so hard. The last thing I remember before falling down was an old couple staring at me open-mouthed.

***************

I opened my eyes...expecting to see an angel.

“She’s awake.” I heard a female-voice call out.

“Where...where am I.” I looked around my surroundings. White walls, photos of plants from different angles decorated the place...I smelled lilacs and roses...and three people staring at me.

“Don’t worry, you're safe.” One of the men said, I turned around a bit to see him, he had a crescent smile as he helped me sit up.

“I’m doctor Fin.” He introduced himself. “This fine couple told me you fainted.”

I looked at the elderly couple and smiled slowly at them.

“Thank you.” I told them.

“Of course, do you need a ride home?” The elderly man asked. Home...Kevin...I was again feeling nauseated. 

“No thank you.” I replied as the couple left.

I faced the doctor again.

“Do you have any ideas of why you fainted?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“Are you married?” He asked.

“No, but I have a boyfriend.” 

“Well...make sure to tell him the good news...you're going to be a mother.” He said in a cheerful voice.

“Ok...wait WHAT?” What just happened?

“It’s true, that’s why you fainted.”

I looked pale but I masked it with a fake smile...my insides felt on fire as the doctor drove me home.

“Congratulations.” He called back.

I walked into the house again. It was almost 5 p.m. I had been gone for an hour. 

“Rachel, where have you been.” Kevin asked me as soon as I entered. “I was so worried.”

I ignored him and just kept walking to the bathroom. He stood in front of me.

“Let me go.” I pleaded.

“You look pale, what’s wrong?”

I looked at his eyes, they hung a worried expression. I need to tell him…

“I’m having a baby.”

He seemed startled for a moment and it took me a long time to convince him it was true.

“Please, let me go.” I backed away from him. “Forever.”

“NO, don’t leave.” He was on the verge of crying.

“I can’t risk my child getting hurt, the cops are already here, it won’t take them long to find us.”

“They won’t, I’ll keep the baby and you safe.”

“No.”

“I promise, nothing will happen to our baby.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any other choice.” I walked towards the door. Kevin followed me but he didn’t stop me.

“Don’t you love me?” He called out as I walked away from the house.

I looked at him...tears rolling down my eyes...was I doing the right thing?

“No.” I scoffed. “I don’t” With that I got in the car and drove off not wanting to see his reaction anymore.

I gently touched my stomach with my right hand... the left I used to drive.

“Your my life now.” I whispered to my baby. 

I don’t love him, I convinced myself even though I knew I was just lying to myself...I don’t...not anymore...