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Bedtime Fiction Funny

 To Ghost Or Not To Ghost

Now Ghastly was a ghost. Trouble is, he didn’t know it. But then, he never was much of a scholar. So, anyway, that’s how this mess all began.

It was a perfect night for Halloween. We had the biggest moon you ever saw. Didn’t need any lights at all. Just that big old moon shinin’ down making it look like daylight. Yup, it sure was a perfect night.

I was sitting on the bench in the park when I first noticed that the party was underway. Folks all coming out of their houses ready for some fun. I chuckled at some of the costumes. One kid had on his sisters old clothes. Billy Jones was supposed to be a cowhand. He was wearing a plaid shirt and jeans. For extras, he had spurs on his boots. Boy oh boy, was he ever whoopin’ it up. Land sakes. Mable Turner’s wearing the top hat that usually goes on the snowman. Course there ain’t any snow yet so guess it’s okay. You should see some of these getups. Right grand some of ‘em. Here comes Laura Rafferty. Wow, she’s gorgeous. Where on earth did she get that swell dress? I do believe that’s a mink wrapped around her neck. She sure looks purdy. A fella wants to amble over and give her a big hug. Might get your mug slapped though. Better not try it. This sure is shapin’ up for a grand bash.

All the old wood we gathered together all week is piled in a safe spot down near the lake. Guess I’d better get off my duff and give a hand. It’s probably time to light her up.

Something smells good. The gals have been bakin’ and cookin’ all week. I even brought some of my home-made cider. Thought it would get things going right well. Just one little tipple and off you go. Just for the grown-ups, of course. There’s plenty of pop and juice for the kids.

The picnic table in the centre of the park is filling up grand. There’s cakes and pies and some sandwiches and some funny lookin’ things that I don’t recall seein’ before, but I bet they’re good. Someone made fudge and lots of it. Different kinds too. I’ll try for some chocolate. I have a real taste for chocolate.

Okay now. Here we go. The fire’s lit and boy she’s a dandy. Them flames are a snappin’ and a roarin’ like all get out. Sure won’t be cold around here tonight.

You know; we have the best folks right here in this town. They’re right friendly and they love fun. Everyone just jumps right in and make the holidays extra special for us all. We give what we can and doesn’t matter a hoot even if you can’t afford to give anything. Everyone’s welcome to join in. The kids are treated the same no matter which side of the tracks they come from. We love ‘em all.

Great; the music just started up. There’ll be lots of stompin’ going on and a little smooching I reckon. We built a nice platform to dance on. No use ruinin’ the grass. I don’t dance much anymore—just like to watch. That’s my thing now. I love to watch. We got some great dancers here. Well worth watching. You’d love ‘em. Quite a crowd on the floor. Fancy dresses along with jeans and boots and some spooky lookin’ costumes and some down right purdy costumes, all going around the floor fast as the wind. What a sight.

Now what the heck is that great white thing doing in the middle of it all? Can’t make out what it is. Oops, it’s gone. No, it hasn’t. There it is again, or is it? Yup there it is. Yup I see it alright. No, I don’t. Gone again. Am I going nuts or something? My eyes must be playing tricks on me. Better ease up on the cider.

Did I say that there’s a contest for the best costume? Two prizes going up for grabs. One for the kids and one for the adults. Of course, there’s a prize for all the kids. I picked out the winner already. Bet I’m right too. We’ll find out later. Maybe I’ll win. I’m not wearing a costume—just my ordinary street clothes. But my street clothes get purdy weird lookin’ sometimes. Ha, ha. My little joke.

Think I’ll wander over to the food table and get me something sweet to eat. I fancy a wee bite.

Let’s see now. Definitely the chocolate fudge. Apple pie. That’ll go down just fine.

 “Hey, quit pushing will you. There’s lots here for everyone.

Some folks have no manners. Just horn in and grab.”

Where was I? Oh yeah, apple pie. A nice big slice. Some cheese on the side.

“You’re pushing again fella. Give me a break eh.”

Well, I’ll be darned. There’s no one near me. I swear I’m going nuts. I can see that big white thing sitting on the bench now. No, not on the bench anymore. It’s up in the tree. It’s someone in a ghost costume. Where’s it gone now. Keeps disappearing. Good grief, it pushed me again. What’s going on?

“Don’t you know me Jed? Take a good look.”

The white sheet twirled around the tree and flew up and down the trunk. Now it’s on the bench again. Now it’s running around the bench. Back up the tree and down the trunk and sits on the ground.

“How the heck do I know who’s under a sheet?”

“What are you talking about Jed? What sheet? I aint under any old sheet. I’m wearing my T and jeans like always.

“No you aint. You’re under that sheet. And I don’t know anyone that wears a sheet, even on Halloween. Kids wear sheets cause they want to be a ghost but none of my acquaintances wears sheets.

“Quit kidding Jed. I’m standing here like always in my T and jeans. And I’m getting a little ticked off at you.”

“Too bad if you’re ticked, you sheet wearer. Who gives a hoot. Certainly not me.”

That dang sheet jumped up and down and twirled around the park and flopped down on the bench again.

“I’m gonna eat my pie.”

“Oh yeah” came from under the sheet.

My pie gets knocked outa my hand and lands on the ground. That beautiful pie. Now I’m getting ticked—really ticked. And where the heck did I put my chocolate fudge.

“Okay bud, whoever you are, I’ve had it with ya.”

I ups and takes a great swipe at the sheet.

“I’ll show you who’s boss around here and it sure aint you.”

I throws a punch. Nothing happens. Did I miss? I don’t miss. It must have jumped at just the right second.

I try to land another blow but my fist goes right through the sheet and flies back at me. Lucky it missed. What is going on here. I must be dreaming.

“Awe, come on Jed. Don’t get mad. I aint done nothing. Cheer up. Let’s have some fun.”

“Fun! Fun! Do you call shoving and pushing fun. You get that sheet off and let me see who you are.”

“Okay, okay,  Stay cool there Jed. I’ll go along with the joke. See now, the sheet is off. Feel better?”

“I’ll knock your block off if you don’t quit this nonsense.

Where the heck are you now? Now I see you in a sheet and now I don’t see you at all. What kinda game is you playing?”

“I’m here right beside you Jed. You know who I am. It’s your pal Ghastly. Will you stop with the games; please.”

“That’s not nice. In fact, it’s downright nasty. Making fun of Ghastly when he can’t do anything about it. You’re gonna regret this. I’ll see to it.”

But Jed, it’s me. It’s Ghastly. I’m here with you. Don’t you know me? Why don’t you know me? I think I might start to cry. What’s going on? I just want to have some fun and be with you. I’ve been away and I missed you. Please Jed, I’m your pal. We’ve been pals all our lives. Don’t let me down now. Please Jed.

I’m getting some peculiar vibes. I can’t see the sheet. Where’s it gone now? 

It’s not on the bench, not up the tree, not spinning around anywhere. Where is it? Did it leave the park? 

Funny; I feel sort of sad. It’s just like when my pal, Ghastly, left me. I feel like I should’ve been kinder, tried to be more understanding. But how can you be kind and understanding to a sheet? What the heck. I’m imagining things. That must be it. I should go get some food and join the fun. Ya, that’s what I’m gonna do.  But, somehow, I miss the sheet.

I wonder who or what was under that sheet. Why didn’t it take it off? There are some right strange things going on around here tonight.

By: Doreen M. Atkinson

© Doreen M. Atkinson 2023

October 23, 2023 17:36

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