The Road to Merton

September 5, 1993

As she looked at herself in the full- length mirror in her parent’s bedroom, Libby couldn’t believe how revolting she looked. She’d gained a bit of weight over the summer holidays. This was mostly due to a sedentary existence of watching Tim Burton films and reading gothic horror fiction while consuming Lion Bars. Her skirt had ridden up to her kidneys due to the increased bulge of her tummy despite several attempts to pull it down. When her Aunty Catherine, whom Libby secretly named 'Lady Catherine of Pompousville' called in over the long summer break, she would say such hurtful things as ‘Goodness Lib, I think you’re going through your plain stage' or ‘Would you like to join us at weight watchers this week? You may be able to lose that tummy before your next term start.’ I think the comment that really stuck with Libby was ‘you’ll never secure a man of good fortune if you don’t try to look more attractive.’ She didn’t really understand why her Aunty was talking of ‘men of good fortune’ when Libby was fifteen and she also thought her silly Aunty sounded like she’d swallowed a Jane Austen novel. Libby’s usual response was to put on a strained smile, which made her look like she had a root vegetable trapped in an orifice, grab a Marathon Bar from the kitchen and head upstairs to escape into her latest book.

Looking in the mirror, she stretched her navy V-neck jumper down as far as it would go to try and cover her tummy just as she heard her mum holler up to her.

‘Libby darling, the bus is going to be here soon. Would you like me to pop some toast in a napkin for you to have on the bus?’

The thought of breakfast made Libby want to gag, especially so early in the morning but her mum insisted on giving her something to eat, usually toast smothered in crunchy peanut butter.

‘You need to eat something’ she would say ‘you need to feed that incredible brain of yours.’

‘Yes mum, will do.’ Knowing full well she’d bin it as soon as she arrived at school and grab a chocolate bar from the tuck shop at first break.

Her mum pulled a tissue from her pocket, spat on it and wiped her cheek just as she was heading out the door. Urgh, she could smell her mother’s morning breath mixed with five million cups of tea.

Running out of the door, Libby braced herself for the sound of squeals, as she reluctantly climbed on the school bus to her Convent school in deepest darkest Cornwall. As she sat down at the back of the bus, she was smothered with hugs from her friend Jane and tried to stay emotionless. Lucy, Margo and Cathy also blew her adoring kisses. Jane, looked more beautiful than ever and what sometimes irritated Libby, was that she was one of the sweetest girls to boot. Margo was quiet, her long fringe hanging over her glasses, nose in a history of music book and Lucy and Cathy were giggling over a tragic magazine.

‘Hey Libby, we missed you over the Summer. Did you have a great time?’ Jane asked.

‘Pretty dull. What about you guys?’

‘Yeah, not too bad. Lots of sunbathing and roller skating.’ Jane said in her perfect dewy way. Jane had once been her best friend and they’d known each other since infant school but since starting the Convent school, Libby had just thrown herself into her studies and found most of her class annoying.

‘It’s going to be full on this year isn’t it, Libby? All those subjects to sit exams for. Did you sit your English and French exam early Libby? How did you do?’ Jane quizzed.

‘A’ s for both’

‘That’s amazing, you’re going to ace it this year.’ Jane said admiringly.

Libby wasn’t that bothered about her GCSE exams. She knew she’d do well. She was more concerned about the change of school for sixth form and the thought of mixing with all those handsome boys. Libby’s parents had agreed to continue her private education in Mid-Devon at a former Boy's college that had only recently agreed to accept girls. Libby couldn’t wait and had started dreaming of encounters with hot seventeen -year- olds, reciting poetry and endless kissing on desks in one of the schools’ tower rooms.

Libby was greeted by lots of ‘Hey Libby, great to see you’ as she entered the form room. With a pained expression on her face, she reciprocated but couldn’t give two hoots about making friends this year. It was all about 'head down, get through it' and once school was done, she could start to think about the next chapter of her life where she could reinvent herself as a Winona Ryder type character in Mermaids.

First class was double English. She had aced her language exam and was sure she would do the same for the Literature exam.

Her History and English teacher was one of her favorite teachers. She wasn’t sure how old she was, but she was convinced she had an exciting past as she always had a naughty glint in her eye. With an amazing Bob-style haircut and soft looking cashmere rollnecks, she looked like she could have been a Bond girl back in the day. She had a lovely way of sweeping her hair off her face which made Libby believe she clearly had an exciting past.

‘Goooooooood Moooorrrrning girls! Welcome to your final year with me. Have you had a lovely summer? This year I hope we can have some fun as well as preparing you to ace your exams. I said good morning.'

‘Good morning Mrs Tinker’ the class chanted.

‘That’s better. We will start with our first book for the term. Pride and Prejudice. I hope you all had a chance to read over the summer break. If not, I think you’re all going to love it.’ Her tone then changed as if she was about to divulge a top secret kept by an M15 agent.

‘I want to start by telling you all that one day, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, you will all have a lot of power over men.'

Sound of giggling.

Libby sounded slightly disturbed. Why on earth is Mrs. Tinker talking about this? She looked at Lucy and Cathy who were laughing their heads off in a completely juvenile manner. She heard Cathy snort and then say ‘oh goodness, I hope so. I just want to get married and have a big house with a pool.’

Mrs. Tinker continued ‘one day, you will be able to use your femineity to control the opposite sex’.

Mrs. Tinker was about to continue when the door opened and in walked Mr. Fairfax, The Headmaster. Libby hadn't noticed how tall and actually handsome Mr. Fairfax was before. Maybe it was the long summer break, the tan from spending months in the South of France with his wife, the school secretary and their three abnormally quiet children.

As everyone in the class rose to their feet Mr. Fairfax began ‘Good morning Mrs. Tinker, Good morning class. Please sit down.’

‘Good morning Mr. Fairfax’ Mrs. Tinker said in an alluring tone.

‘I just wanted to share some very exciting news. We have managed to secure a weekend trip for you all in Oxford in two weeks’ time. We’re just finalizing some tickets for an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice at The Playhouse, and I’m delighted to say, I’ve arranged for you all to have high tea at my old stomping ground, Merton College. Oh, to be young again. Anyway, where was I? You will all be looked after there. I was so excited that my request was accepted, I had to share the news. Pack your most beautiful dresses and one of you may even find a husband. Ha’

Mrs. Tinker looked longingly at Mr. Fairfax, giggled and then forgot what she was saying.

‘Well, I wish you all a fantastic day back. Its lovely to see you all.’

As Mr. Fairfax left the room, Deborah who was one of the cockiest members of the class said:

‘What were you saying Mrs. Tinker about controlling the opposite sex.’

The class giggled and Mrs. Tinker looked as if she needed a sniff from the little bottle she carried in her handbag.’

‘well, that is fantastic news. I’m sure you’ll all enjoy our trip to Oxford. It's quite a delight and a performance of Pride and Prejudice will be fantastic at the Playhouse. Right, if you start by reading the first chapter and then if time, we’ll start to discuss. I have some questions for you as you start to read.

As Libby picked up her well fingered copy, she had already read and re-read Pride and Prejudice five times over the holiday. She could recite it word for word. Deep breath, here we go again.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good wife.

oh please. Get a grip, wouldn’t a man in possession of a good fortune want to play the field? Urgh Indecent proposal would have sucked if Robert Redford just wanted Demi Moore to be his wife.

‘And if you think about the character of Elizabeth Bennett in particular and some of her flaws. Have a good rest of day girls and see you later in the week. If you could take this consent form home for your parents to sign for our Oxford trip by the end of the week.'

Later that evening, Libby was tired after her first day back and so after wolfing down her spaghetti Bolognese and providing single worded responses to the hundreds of questions from her mum about how her first day had been and how was Jane. ‘Fine, fine and fine’.

‘Mum, I’ve got stacks of homework so I’m going to head upstairs if ok?’

‘of course, darling. Don’t work too hard.’

As she looked at the consent form, she was filled with dread. A long journey involving a bus with her ridiculously perky, perfect looking class. I’m sure they’d all have perfect outfits on, and Daddy will have bought most of them a new Walkman to listen to all the coolest tapes. Maybe if she didn’t hand in her consent form, she could get out of it. Who wanted to go all the way to Oxford anyway? It would just be full of cold stuck-up snobs with more money than sense.

The next day Mrs. Tinker past Libby in the hall on the way to the staff room.

‘Libby how are you settling back into your last year? You seemed quite quiet in class the other day? is all, ok?’

Libby saw this as her chance to get out of the Oxford trip.

‘Mrs. Tinker, oh yes fine thank you. Sorry Mrs. Tinker I think I’m coming down with something. It’s such a shame as I really wanted to go to Oxford.’

‘Well Libby, I’m sure plenty of sleep and vitamin c and you’ll be fine in 10 days. Ill expect your consent form tomorrow if ok or I can call your mum and dad?’

‘No that’s fine, I’ll bring in tomorrow.’

Urgh, she thought. Not Oxford. What was she going to wear. She only seemed to have lots of black baggy things to wear at the moment and no make-up.

A few weeks later the coach pulled into the coach park after enduring a long, excitable bus journey with her class. Mrs. Tinker was watching Libby carefully as she felt she had become a bit resigned of late and despite most of the class thinking she was super cool and super brainy, she showed them absolutely no interest. She was determined that this trip to Oxford would turn her around.

They were all told to have a bit of quiet in their shared hotel rooms and meet in the lobby at six before heading for dinner. Libby was sharing a room with her friend Jane who kept chatting ‘how are you finding this term Libby? What did you do all summer? Dd your mum pass on my messages about joining a group of us at the beach? We really missed you.’

‘Oh, I don’t know if I did get all the messages. It was kind of you jane. I was trying to spend a bit of time writing and getting ahead on my reading before school started.’

‘Well I'm looking forward to hanging with you this weekend.’

‘Um yea me too.'

After a dinner of roast chicken, the girls were told to head to their rooms, no longer than an hour of TV and then bed ready for a busy Saturday filled with their trip to the theatre and then to prepare for the high tea at Merton.

They were all exhausted at the end of the next day but when Mrs. Tinker noticed all of the girls had been noticeably moved by the performance apart from Libby, she said ‘how are you, Libby? Are you feeling, ok?’

‘yes, Mrs. Tinker thank you.’

‘What did you think of the performance?’

‘I thought it was a bit depressing really. I mean, is it really relevant for us now? We don’t have to all think about ‘marrying well’. I want to finish my studies, go travelling.’

‘I think you’ll find its more relevant than you think. Let's have a chat tomorrow after our visit to Merton.’

Later that day Lucy, Margo and Cathy had decided to get ready for the high tea in Libby and jane's room. Does anyone have any spot cream? My zits seem to be wild.’ Said Lucy.

‘I know, how am I going to meet my future husband unless I look perfect.’ Cathy added.

Margo barely looked up from her history of music book, very unamused at the discussion.

‘Wow you look gorgeous Libby, that dress really suits you. It's your colour.’ As Libby emerged from the bathroom in a beautiful olive-green dress Jane had brought for her to wear.

‘Oh thanks, you are too. You all look gorgeous.’

A knock at the door signaled they were ready to leave. Walking through the beautiful, cobbled streets passing so many amazing colleges and the ashmolean library, Libby did find herself start to smile and think, this city is absolutely gorgeous. What a change of scene from north Cornwall.’

As they entered the impressive doorway through to the grounds of Merton, they were greeted by a chap with a black bowl hate. ‘good evening, ladies, they are waiting for you in the dining hall. Let me show you through.’

As they entered the dining hall, Libby was rather taken aback.

Mrs. Tinker announced to the hall ‘well ladies, may I introduce you to the lower sixth form from Magdalen college.’

‘No high tea then Mrs. Tinker?’

Mrs. Tinker gave Libby one of her naughty winks.

Lots of stares and awkward smiles proceeded and then everyone was guided to their seats. Jane and Libby found themselves sitting opposite two very handsome boys, Will and Freddie who were incredibly confident.

‘how are you girls enjoying Oxford?’ Wills began in his incredibly posh accent.

In Jane’s typically sweet way, she giggled in all the right places and very confidently replied that she found it ‘amazing.’ It was clear from the increased saliva when they spoke that both boys were very taken with Jane.

As they finished their meal which was very fancy, they were guided into a hall for a dance. A chap sat at a piano in the corner and everyone was encouraged to find a partner. When the pianist honked his horn, dancers were encouraged to find a new partner.

A very serious looking chap approached Will.

‘Jane and Libby, may I introduce my friend Mark?’

‘Hi Mark.’

Mark looked intently at Libby which caused her to think she must have a bit of food on her face or in her hair. He then said, ‘Would you care to dance?’

Libby felt her whole-body temperature rise and tried to sound cool ‘yea, I mean yes that would be lovely thank you.’ As he led her on to the dance floor.

As Jane and the other girls watched in awe at their super cool friend with the most handsome man in the room, looking like she was having a great time.

‘So are your parents lord and lady Merton then?’

‘Ha!’ mark laughed in response. ‘No, they are not.’

‘Well, they must be really posh then if you attend this school and have fancy dinner dances on a Saturday night.’

‘No not at all, mum is a teacher and dad own a construction company.’

‘Oh right. Goodness.’

‘I'm actually the scholarship boy but don’t tell anyone. It'll ruin my rep.’ he smiled.

‘Oh right, I didn’t know they would do that. Well, you must be surrounded by some completely stuck-up people at school looking at this crowd.’

‘No everyone is lovely. What about your gang?’

‘Yes, they’re sweet. I should be nicer to them.’

‘Yes, you seem a bit fierce. Do you have very strict parents?’

‘No, my parents are lovely. Totally uncool but yes, I do love them to bits. They would do anything for me.’

‘oh, they sound lovely.’

As the horn sounded dancers were encouraged to mix, but Mark and Libby stayed together and talked for what seemed like hours about their favourite books, films, TV. She couldn't believe Mark had watched Mermaids.

As the dance drew to an end, Libby joined the girls and wrapped them all in a huge hug.

‘Thank you for being such wonderful friends.’

‘Goodness what did Mr. Darcy say to you? Ha!’ Jane was taken aback by her friend.

'Well maybe I can learn more than I thought from Ms. Austen.' Libby declared.