Bye-bye

“Yeah, I’m over him,” Sarah said curtly while walking into the kitchen from the back deck.

Thomas looked up from his laptop, pulled away by those four short words. It was the middle of a Tuesday afternoon, when he would normally be at the office, but once he confirmed he didn’t have anymore meetings the rest of the day, he had decided to leave early and work the rest of the day from home. He thought he would surprise Sarah, but she had been out back, probably gardening, when he arrived.

Figuring his ears had heard something likely uneventful, he tried to get back to work. But just as his eyes returned to the bright, glaring screen, they heard, “What?? I mean, are you surprised? This can’t be life. It’s just too much. Yeah, I thought it was what I wanted, but…I just don’t think it’s for me.”

Now, his interest was officially piqued—his latest legal brief in front of him bearing no match in comparison.

‘Can’t be life’? ‘Just too much’? What is she talking about? he wondered in bewilderment.

As Rudy, his beloved German Shepherd, casually lifted his head from his afternoon nap, Thomas found himself listening more closely.

“Yeah,” Sherry continued. “He isn't who you think he is... I honestly have been having trouble with him all along…”

Thomas’s right eyebrow raised. Trouble? he thought. I mean, I know we’ve been having some rough patches here and there lately, but I thought we were okay? And what does she mean, ’all along’?!?

“I mean, I can’t do it anymore,” she said to the phone, “He has to go… Yeah, I’m sure everyone will miss him..but they’ll just have to understand.”

Huh? Understand what?! I’m not going anywhere!!!

“Well yeah, it might be a bit of an adjustment for the kids.. but they’ll be alright. They’ll learn to live without him—“

What?!?!? Learn to live without me?!?!?

“…And once they get older, they’ll understand it was for the best.”

Thomas couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Where was all of this coming from? What had he done that was that wrong? Thomas began furiously racking his brain.

Was it because he kept leaving his hiking boots downstairs by the door when she’d asked him many times to put them up? Or because he sometimes worked late? Did he not walk Rudy enough? Or maybe it was because he sometimes spent all Saturday playing Dungeons and Dragons…

Thomas feared to think: Is it the sex?

She went on, “I mean, he never listens…”

Wait. I’m the one who doesn’t listen?!? It feels like nothing I say in this house ever matters! What I think or want doesn’t matter! And I’m the one who doesn’t listen? Ha!

“Sherry, you don’t understand. No! You don’t understand. He doesn’t help with anything… In fact, he’s always messing everything up!”

Thomas knew he wasn’t exactly Mr. Clean when it came to keeping the house tidy, but he wasn’t a complete slob either. And “doesn’t help with anything”? While he knew money had been a bit tight lately, he still was paying most of the bills!

“Yes! He’s always wreaking havoc… I feel like I can’t even trust him to be at home alone! Let alone, with the kids.”

Thomas felt his heart nearly pounding out of his chest. He loved Sarah so deeply, more than anyone he ever had. He couldn’t even imagine life without her, and hadn’t had to for a very long time now. What would that even look like? he thought. But the kids?!? He couldn’t believe she would be questioning the relationship with his own children. And threatening it!

Sensing something was off, Rudy walked over and nuzzled Thomas in the leg. Thomas tried to will his hand to reach down and stroke the back of Rudy’s head in return.

“Hurt me? No, Sherry, he’s never hurt me…per se. Just has gotten on my last damned nerves and hasn’t really added value to my life the way I’d thought…”

Another blow shot through Thomas’ heart. Much more, and he was sure he would have to be rushed to a hospital. Or maybe not. Maybe he could just die right there, if she really cared that little about him and she planned on taking the kids. What’s the use anyway?

“I’m sure someone else would better tolerate him. I don’t have the patience anymore. I thought about taking him to see somebody, but I know it would be pointless…”

Thomas knew he was never thrilled by the idea of going to marriage counseling, but if it meant saving his marriage, he would do whatever he would have to. They briefly broached the subject during a rough patch a few years before but never did anything with it. That was the first and only time it was brought up. And yet she’s since somehow skipped over even trying, to concluding it would be pointless?

“Do you want him?”

Thomas had to suppress his gasp. The more he heard her talk, the more he wondered if he even knew her. How could anyone be so cruel?

“I’m serious, you can have him,” she chuckled, “You could come get him this weekend, even!”

Sarah’s laugh intensified. “Maybe we could trade? That might be kind of fun.”

Thomas was speechless. Even in his head. Rudy upped his support in Thomas’ time of need and licked his right hand hand that was dangling off of one side of his legs.

Thomas was so grateful for Rudy. It was once just the two of them for a long time, until he met Sarah. It sounded like it would soon be just the two of them again.

After another moment, Sarah sighed and saiid, “You know anyone else who would want him? ….No, I don’t even feel like going through all of that. The process would take too long. I just want him out the house!!”

She soon continued, ”No.. If I ever feel the need again, I could always get another one in the future. There’s many more where he came from. And much better options, I’m sure.”

This tugged on one of Thomas’ deepest insecurities. He had long wondered if, felt that…Sarah could do better. He knew he wasn’t exactly the most manliest of men, which he figured she most desired and deserved, but he tried. He had been practicing tapping more into his inner aggression, his assertiveness, his masculinity. He was trying. Why couldn’t she see that?

His sad eyes met Rudy’s ever-saddening eyes. It was as if Rudy was feeling what he was feeling at the moment. Rudy let out a low whimper.

“Oh girl, I won’t care. Black, white, whatever. Long as we’re a good fit, that’s all that matters to me.”

She just wants me replaced…by any means. And as soon as possible. Wow…

“Sherry, stop trying to talk me out of it. It’s done, my mind is made up. He’s going, it’s just a matter of when and how. I mean, I remember when I first laid eyes on him. It was damn near love at first sight. I figured we would all be so happy together, but that was a long time ago. If only he were everything I thought he was. But he’s far from it. I think he tricked me. He tricked all of us. So, he has to go!”

Thomas couldn’t hear any further. He began flipping through his Rolodex and wrote down the numbers of a few of the best divorce attorneys he knew. It sounded like he was in for a battle, so he wanted to make sure he was equipped with the best. His money, his children, the house. He wasn’t going down without a fight. Sarah thought he didn’t have the toughness in him to be with her—well, she was about to see some toughness like she could never believe.

He thought about just going ahead and getting that ball rolling before she had a chance to, but he felt he had to first confront her—tell her how he felt. He deserved answers. Or at least he deserved to be heard. He was going to be heard.

He mustered up the nerve to walk in and confront Sarah, but just he turned the corner to storm the kitchen, he heard, “No, Thomas would never go for it. I would have to find Rudy a home before he finds out.”