The Last Buzz

   It's seven o'clock. Good. You won't be the first to get there.

   You slip on the strappy, low-cut dress he talked you into buying— the one he didn't want you to wear without him. You're wearing it, without him, tonight. It's his fault. He's the one who decided to cheat on you the night of your brother's funeral. You look yourself over in the flimsy full-length mirror hanging over the back of your bathroom door. You see why he didn't want you to wear it without him. Why do you keep defending him?

   You wonder why it took him leaving the funeral to hook-up with some floozy he met at bar to see his true colors; why you believed him when he said, "No one else will ever love you the way I do." You know, now, if what he offered was love then you want no part of it. Love isn't having to explain yourself if you happen to leave the house in a skirt.

   You wonder if your friends will see the change in you―your new sense of freedom―or if they will just see someone who lost their brother, and boyfriend of three years. At least these are your friends, not his. He didn't like them―you see why―they weren't his biggest fans.

   You should have listened to Jesse a long time ago― she was right about him, though, you're not sure she wanted to be. It's been two months since you saw her at the funeral. It doesn't matter. You were happy to hear from her, happy to be invited tonight. If you were still with him, you would― you don't even want to think about it. He was awful.

   Seven-ten. Almost. You have to time it perfectly. Arrive too early, and you risk getting dragged into an unwanted conversation about your break-up or estranged brother's overdose. If you arrive too late, you risk rumors spreading as to why you haven't showed up and might make a scene when you enter.

   Your phone buzzes. It's him. You ignore it. It buzzes again, he's not calling this time. You read, "hey"

   No―don't reply.

  Buzz, "what ru doing?" Buzz, "ru going 2 Jesses party 2nite?"

   Shit―ignore him―but what if he's going? You don't want to go if he'll be there. He's already tried to get you back. No―Jesse would have told you if he was coming.

   Another buzz, "HELLO???" Again, "RU OK?!"

   Why won't he leave you alone? You type, "I'm fine." Send.

   Buzz, "ru going 2 the party?"

   You type, "Did Jesse invite you?" Send.

   No response. Good.

   Seven-seventeen. You should get going―buzz. It's Jesse, "Hey girl just wanted to make sure ur still coming! Miss u xoxo!"

   You type, "Yes. I'm on my way, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. I miss you!" But―buzz― forget to send.

   Him again. "Jesse didnt invite u?"

   Don't let him bait you.

   Buzz. "I told u she was a bitch."

   You shove your phone into your purse. Buzz. Your phone buzzes four more times in the sixteen minutes it takes you to get to Jesse's house. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

   You check the time. Seven-thirty-three. Perfect. Fashionably late. Buzz. You pull your phone from your purse to silence it― you don't want him buzzing at your side all evening. Buzz. Your phone lights up. You don't know the number. You read, "the way I text! I hope you don't think I'm crazy now!"

   You decide you should read your texts.

   First, from him, "u wanna meet 4 drinks?" Then, "or u want me 2 come over & 'take care' of u" You shudder at his use of a winky face emoji followed by a variety of fruits. The third reads, "i guess ur ignoring me good luck finding some1 else who will put up w/ ur―" You delete it.  

   You have four unread texts from the same, unknown, number. First, "Hey Sarah, this is Liam― I don't know if you remember me, Morgan's cousin― the one who just moved to town. We met a few weeks ago at the Paper Dolls," Second, "concert. I know we didn't talk long (and it was loud in there) so, you may not remember me. I got your number from Jesse― I hope that's ok. She said you," Third, "were coming tonight. I was hoping to see you. I can't stay long, maybe few more minutes. Anyway, Jesse said I should text you. Now, she's making fun of," And last, "the way I text. I hope you don't think I'm crazy now!"

   You smile. You remember him.

   The phone rings, you answer, "Hello, Liam?

   "Sarah hi!" Liam says, in a surprised sounding voice. 

   "I got your texts"

   "I'm sorry If I'm bugging you―"

   "Oh―no! I found them quite refreshing, actually."

   "Refreshing? Oh . . . um―" He pauses.

   "Yes?"

   "I kinda thought I was going to get your voicemail, now, I don't know what to say."

   "Oh . . . what would you have said to my voicemail?" You ask.

   "Well, I guess I was going to say that I was leaving, and I was sorry to have missed you, and sorry for all the texts."

   "Have you left yet?"

   "Yeah," He answers, "I'm getting in the car."

   "I just pulled up," You say.

   "Oh?"

   "Yes."

  "Which car?" He asks.

  "The only bright green sedan parked on the street."

  "Hold on." He hangs up.

   You shove your phone back into your purse and open the car door. You hear your name.

   "Sarah!" Liam calls, standing in the street several cars behind you, "Wait up!" He walks towards you with a grand smile.

   Your heart flutters― a feeling you had forgotten was possible, "Hi . . . um―"

   "Hi. Uh, so . . . this is probably gonna sound crazy, but I figured you must already think I am, so, what do I have to lose?"

  "I don't think―"

  "You don't want to ditch the party and come with me, do you? I'm sorry―I shouldn't have interrupted you."

   "Oh, um― where are you going?"

   "To pick up my nephew from karate and take him to a movie― exciting, I know."

   "Yes."

   "Yes?" 

   Your phone rings, it's Jesse, "Hello?"

  "Girl― I see who you're talking to out there!" Jesse says, "If he's asking you out, you'd better say yes!"

  "I did." You say, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to make it tonight."

   Jesse shrieks and hangs up.

   Your phone buzzes. It's him. You read, "Y RU IGNORING ME?!"

   You delete him.

   "Is everything ok?" Liam asks.

   "Yes," You answer, "It's no one."