dropping eaves on a hospital floor

Jonas reluctantly plunged his fork into part of his sausage and stuffed it into his mouth. It tasted like rubber. If only he knew what rubber tasted like? He knew the feel so he knew the texture and if he knew the texture he could sort of know the taste or what chewing on it would be like. David had been chewing on crayons the other night so chewing on rubber might obviously not seem so far fetched to some of the patients here. Jonas had looked over at his social worker Amy who had been sitting with him and she had returned his look of horror….”He’s eating crayons”, she had said shocked, after they had both drawn their attention to and from David who had been sneaking bites of the Crayola crayons from his stash in his gray sweat pants. The gray sweatpants were part of the uniform at Silver Linings hospital in Sarasota where they were. Or at least part of the dress they made you change into when you first arrived, but crayons were definitely not one of the items they passed out during snack or put on the menu for breakfast lunch or dinner and his gray sweatpants were full of them. He stashed them anyway, and took sneak bites while Survivor played on the TV. And Jonas and Amy watched.

Meanwhile, while Jonas pondered his sausage, Lonnie, another patient, was beginning to hum and tap his foot to the radio. Lonnie was sitting at the table by the window and door to the patio. They were both in the dining room which leads to the patio. This was Unit C. As in Crayola. It wouldn’t be too long before Lonnie started shouting lyrics and full on yelling. The music got him riled up. Last time the art therapist showed up on the unit he had started to rap hysterically while the art therapist played some John Denver on her IPhone. The music got him riled up……

David was nowhere to be seen and Jonas wondered if he finished his sausage or somehow saved it for later, maybe to stash with his crayons to sneak bites during Survivor. What a circus. This place is filled with circus animals. Jonas thought. I guess crayon and rubber might be on par with one another in terms of taste. Jonas wonders. But his thoughts are interrupted. Lonnie’s humming began to get louder. And Jonas wasn’t going to finish his breakfast.

“He’s been here almost two months.”

Jonas had begun to lift his tray up and take it up when he heard nurse Sarah talking to nurse Renee behind the nursing station. He set his tray back down.

“What do you think he’s dealing with that could be so severe?” Renee responded.

“According to Doctor Hurts his diagnosis is pretty serious. He needs serious treatment.”

“His hospital bill is going to be massive.”

 Jonas tuned out Lonnie’s humming and zeroed in on this conversation between the two nurses. Were they talking about him? He wondered. He’d been here almost two months. He was doctor Hurts’ patient after all. Could they be talking about him? Was his diagnosis so severe that it merited this dialogue between the two nurses in such a hushed conversation? His hospital bill! He hadn’t thought of that……. Oh shit……..

He decided to sit back and listen in for just a few moments longer.

“He’s a student. He needs to be back in the classroom.”

They were talking about him. He was a student. Should he confront them? He wonders. Or just keep listening. He doesn’t have time to make up his mind as they continue talking.

“He took a lot of pills. I’m not so sure he’s ready to be back in school.”

Suddenly he’s transfixed and hanging in on every word. They’re talking about him and they have no right to be. He thinks. This isn’t right. They shouldn’t be talking about their patient like this.

“If I take my medicine, you better be ready. Because I’m about to be super steady. Call me Teddy. Ed, Ed, and Eddy.”

Lonnie was beginning to chant, and it made no sense. Furthermore it made listening in to the nurses more difficult.

“Hush Lonnie!” Jonas murmured. But Lonnie paid him no attention.

“Why don’t they eat their food?”

Suddenly Jonas hears another conversation in the doorway, in between the nursing station and the dining room. It’s between the tech’s Travis and Cindy who were in charge of monitoring breakfast and seeing who ate and who didn’t.

“Beats me.” Cindy responds to Travis who initiated the dialogue.

Jonas is peeved because this new dialogue cuts off the previous dialogue between the nurses that he was trying to listen to.

“Take Jonas for example.” Travis says. “A big guy like him ought to be able to eat a full meal.”

Jonas turns his head, for the first time to the two techs talking, away from Lonnie’s nonsensical rap, to glare at the two techs talking.

“Hey!” Jonas stammers. “You’re talking about me.” He makes out.

“No. We were just commenting on the weather.” Travis states. “Gonna be a beautiful day!”

“You can’t be talking about us like that.” Jonas says. Disregarding Travis’ sentiment.

“Somebody is a little sensitive.” Cindy remarks to Travis. 

“Hey stop!” Jonas says again.

“Just finish your sausage.” Travis says to Jonas.

Jonas grimaces. “It tastes like a rubber tire…….Or……A crayon.”

“That’s a first.” Cindy laughs.

“The minds of these patients.” Travis responds.

“Hey!” Jonas drops his fork and nearly stands up but bumps his thighs against the table forcing him to stay seated.

“Schizo-affective. That’s what his diagnosis is.” Suddenly Travis hears Sarah talking to Renee again. They're talking about him, just beyond where the techs are standing, behind the nursing station. This time Jonas stands up completely and takes his tray with him. He’s going to confront the two nurses. They have no right to be talking about him.

“Call me crazy, call me hazy. I’ll be here all day, getting lazy. Poppin pills and chasin' thrills.” Lonnie is still chanting, but Jonas disregards him.

“Medication!” Suddenly he hears Amber’s voice above Lonnie's chants from down the hall. She’s calling the patients for medication pass. But Jonas disregards the call and heads straight to the nursing station where Renee and Sarah are, passing Travis and Cindy who have moved on to do their tray checks to see who ate and who didn’t.

“You’re talking about me!” Jonas stammers. “You were just saying how big my hospital bill is going to be. And that my diagnosis is serious and that I’ll need further treatment.” Jonas looks at Sarah who shrugs. “Go take your medicine honey. You’re starting to become asymptomatic.”

Jonas, now irate, slams his tray on the nursing station. “I can hear you all from the dining room!”

“Medication!” Amber calls again. Jonas catches David heading down the hall to the med pass with his peripherals and his attention to the two nurses gets disrupted. But he continues his rant.

“How can you all sit back and talk about me like that when I’m in earshot.”

“Meds. Go take them. You’re being paranoid. Sarah was just telling me about her cat.” Renee makes out. Suddenly Jonas catches Phillip and Dan heading down the hall, and realizes he’s going to be last in line to take meds if he doesn’t go down there now. “I have insurance you know.” Jonas says. "That will cover my hospital bill.” Jonas begins.

But before he can finish Lonnie is racing down the hall chanting: “Meds, meds, meds, feed me meds to make me go to beds.”  

Jonas realizes it doesn’t matter, as he turns away from the two nurses and heads to put his tray away, with the sausage still half uneaten. As he heads towards the bin to put up his tray in, he notices an orange crayon tucked underneath his milk cartridge. “Hey!” He mutters. How did that get there? He wonders. But before he can wonder any further, he hears nurse Sarah start: “Just look at them.” She says to Renee, “They are lifeless….. Hopeless…. Barely able to eat their breakfasts or take their medications.” Jonas heard that, but didn’t take his eyes off the crayon, and wondered…Maybe it’s not so bad? He hesitates, reaching for the milk, but knocks it over and grabs the crayon, spilling the milk on his tray and on the psych ward floor. “Look and now he’s spilled milk everywhere……” Nurse Renee remarks. But Jonas is deadlocked, tuning out her every word. He’s eyeing that orange crayon and before he knows it he is putting it into his mouth and taking a chomp. “No!” Sarah gasps. Renee brings her hands to her own mouth out of shock. “He’s just eaten part of a crayon.” Renee shudders. Now they are completely narrating his actions, which have become entirely psychotic. And Jonas casually walks away with his tray crashing to the floor. Serves them right. He thinks.