The Light Within

Life is a great leveler many would think, but to most, life is just unfair. How would you feel if you are lost in the darkness forever? It’s inconceivable to us but not to Katrina, she was born blind. She didn’t see any light in her life. Her parents took time to accept the fact that she might never see. We always make plans in life, to travel to the most exquisite places, to live free without any precincts, to read books, and to watch movies. But what if you are denied all that? Katrina till she was 16, blamed her fate for the things she had been missing. She was bullied in school, and at home, she had to face her thwarted parents.

If you are deprived of a particular sense then the other senses are heightened. It is no magic. It is just the way the human body works. Even if you don't see the light you can create pictures in your mind using other senses. Dejected by her unfortunate life, Katrina dwelled in her imagination. She created a world in her mind where she is not blind, and she walked on its land and flew in its sky every day. She met people of this world and they exchanged their thoughts with each other. Contrary to what the usual world was, Katrina’s world was fair. People in her world weren’t born with disabilities and there were no bullies. It was a simple concept and since it was Katrina’s idea of a world, she had a right to make the rules.

Fond of her imaginary world, she was barely perturbed by the things going on in the outside world. She started living aloof from her family and friends. She sensed an increased level of dissatisfaction in both of her parents, but she didn’t care. It wasn’t her fault that she was born this way, and now that she had something to relish in her life, she didn’t want to bother about anything else. Her world had its own rules. Her world had two suns so that there was always light, and no darkness. It had kind people and beautiful weather. She swam in the oceans and walked on hills, she laughed and she sang. She lived in that world more profoundly, as if her soul was free.

Time went by and Katrina felt a need to tell others about the world she had created. Nothing could replace the actual human connection. She wanted to share her world with the humans around her. She started documenting everything happening in her imaginary world. She wrote and wrote about her world until there were more than a thousand pages. She decided to tell her parents about it. They were animated at first but they didn’t give her much support. They didn’t believe that what she wrote had any value.

She searched for publishers around to hear what she has to say. She took those pages with her wherever she went and tried everything to get her book published. She was bullied and maligned by almost everyone. Some out of pity told her that they would call her back if they like it. Nothing happened. After some time she realized that no one would publish her thoughts and her world would be abandoned. She didn’t cry about it. She had her world with her and she could do whatever she desired in it.

When she failed her exams a few months later, her parents were flustered. They blasted at her. She was shivering. Tears fell down her eyes. She wanted to say a lot but couldn’t do it. She was frustrated with herself. A child wants to make her parents proud. She also had the same dream. In her imaginary world, her parents were very proud of her. But the reality is not fair. It is what it is and Katrina didn't like it one single bit. Because of the real world, she immersed her soul completely into the imaginary world. It was her only escape. That night she had an epiphany. After all real is real and imaginary is imaginary. The real happiness that she desired was an option only in the real world. Imaginary connections took her mind off of things but they didn’t give her the reality she was seeking.

She wanted to end it all but she didn't dare to do it. The light of the imaginary world was enough to keep her away from darkness. The imaginary world gave her what she didn't have and she couldn't bear the thought of losing it.

The boundaries of her imagination began to expand with time. Earlier she used to go into that world only during nighttime, she used to lie down and close her eyes and in the next moment she was in that world, it was that easy for her. But now the imaginary world was open during the day. She could go in anytime she desired and she kept doing it consistently.

 It wasn’t long before she realized that she couldn’t tell the difference between the two worlds, she was irritated and frustrated in both the worlds. The imaginary world had lost its charm. The light of the two suns was too bright for her. She missed the darkness. She was now terribly exhausted by everything. Her parents didn’t know what to do. She cut herself from everything and everyone. She tried finding herself in the imaginary world but she was very far away from her soul. She knew she had to come back to the real world because it felt real. Even with all the bullying and the disappointment of her parents, she realized that her feelings were real. She could feel getting hurt. She had dreams and expectations, which may have been unreal or farfetched, but what they made her feel was very real. That was it. She took all those pages she had written about the imaginary world and burned them.

After a few days, life began as it was before. Her parents didn't change. Her bullying didn't stop. But she was a different person. She gave it back to the bullies and she didn't react to the annoyance of her parents. She tried to fit in their shoes and she realized it wasn’t that bad. Her heightened senses and imagination helped her to excel in her studies. She still couldn’t see anything, she was still blind, she was still in darkness but she was no more lost. She, at that moment, had within her, infinite suns shining brightly.