Second Life

He slammed his fists on the keyboard. Why he thought he would learn this was beyond him. Frustration welled up in his chest. Bookkeeping baffled him, but he wanted to learn it.

John recently lost his job due to downsizing. He worked in the same place for almost twenty years now, but his company felt money needed their loyalty more than the older workers needed it.

Years ago, money became the corporation’s patron saint. John noticed the budget cuts for equipment. It got to the point where they could barely do everyday tasks efficiently. The managers who cared about the laborers were “let go” in favor of psychotic slave drivers. John felt a pang of fear at the time but dismissed it. He kept his head down for years and stayed loyal despite all the degradation he received for his devotion to the company.

He worked for years on the line doing the same two movements. Attach a mold to a machine and twist it. John felt pride in his chest at the thought of that. Why, though? He didn’t really do anything profound by doing that. He only facilitated a machine to make cheap toys for kids that would not last for two hours after being taken out of the package.

He sat back in his chair and gazed at the ceiling. His thoughts began to wander to the things he missed throughout his life. He played hooky at so many family functions because he worked over forty hours a week.

John’s relationships didn’t exist. He never had time for them. He only made time for work. His only loyalty was to the company, and they discarded him like old papers. His eyes teared up. He felt worthless and confused about why they let him go and then hired other employees. They could’ve moved him to another department.

Yet here he is. Sitting in his home office trying to learn how to do bookkeeping. John’s brain stung with overuse. He never thought this hard before and hoped he never had to again. Ugh. He needed to move around a little. He felt he might be over doing it.

Only a week ago, he worked every day… all day. His whole purpose in life ended with one pink slip. How can you do this to your devoted employees?

Divorce must feel like this, but John didn’t know. He never kept relationships with anyone for very long. His true love was working hard and the paycheck it gave him. Sure… he never got to use his funds for anything other than bills. He didn’t have children, so no issues on that front. His life revolved around work and only work.

He began to boil water for his new tea habit. He figured he would work on being healthy since he had more time on his hands. He had a few pounds to lose since his forced retirement. He grabbed a cup and something struck him hard.

A terrible pain radiated from his temple. He felt weak and noticed he was laying on the ground. He touched his temple and felt wet oozing from a wound. He fell. Well… he thinks he fell. Yes, that's it. He slowly got up with a major urge to go to bed.

He walked slowly to his room while supporting himself with the wall.

“John,” a quiet voice muttered behind him. He jerked his head around as fast as he could. There was no one there. He must have a concussion. He decided to see the doctor in the morning.

John crawled into bed as soon as he reached it. His head pounded, but he couldn’t go any farther. He drifted to sleep quickly.

John landed into the dream with a jolt. He noticed his surroundings first, his childhood bedroom. He saw all of his favorite toys from when he was seven. This age held a bit of nostalgia for him, but he wasn’t seven in this dream. He got up from the bed he rested in and moved out of hallway and into the living room.

Every detail represented deepened as he ventured farther into the house. The beige wallpaper darkened as he walked down the hallway. It seemed longer than reality, but John knew he dreamt all this. He decided to just go where the dream took him.

He reached the living room after what felt like eternity. Inside the room a woman in a long, white flowing robe stood with her back to the doorway. He entered and waited behind her. John didn’t feel like speaking at that moment.

She turned toward him and smiled. She motioned for him to sit on the gaudy orange couch.

“John,” she said in a small voice. “You don’t need to worry anymore. I am here for you. I am always here for you.”

John sat down and felt immediately at ease. He didn’t know who she was, but she looked familiar. John decided to just let this go for now. He would figure this out after he woke up.

“You don’t need to work so hard,” she said. “It’s time for you to work on what you love. Do you remember what you love?”

John thought for a second. He loved art. He loved painting. He never thought it would get him anywhere if he pursued it. His dream guide must have heard his thoughts.

“Yes,” she cooed. “You need to paint. Do not worry about funding your life. You do not need things. You need to feed your soul now. The rest will fall in place.”

John felt scared at the thought of changing the course of his life. He must, though. He needed to do it while scared.

The woman in white kissed his forehead and started to fade. He woke up suddenly and sat up. Yes. The dream woman was right. He shouldn’t even be trying to work on learning bookkeeping. He needs to relearn his true love, the art of painting.

He felt regret about his life. He didn’t like that he wasted so much time in his life doing such a dull job. At the same time, his family didn’t support his dreams of becoming a painter. It destroyed him. It made him so depressed that he needed to just become a vegetable. His job loss was the best thing that ever happened to him in a while. John would paint and inspire others. He resolved to do his work and nothing else.