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Thriller

Cass was sitting on a curb next to a pink cotton candy stand. The level of pink was almost nauseating, an assault on the senses. With the side of her face braced in her palm, she idly studied the swirly gold lettering painted on the side, the sickly sweet smell of warm sugar filling her head.

Wasn’t she too old to get lost at the Carnival?

It wasn’t even that big, was it?

Sighing, she stood up from the curb that she’d been sitting at for... Twenty minutes? She couldn’t be sure, but it hadn’t been that long. Just one more turn around the place and she was bound to run into Reed. She had to eventually.

The place just wasn’t that big.

It was sunset, and the flashing lights and bright, warm colors had begun to glow and dance, captivating her. The remaining deep orange sun bathed everything in a rich, golden hue. She could hear excited chatter and thrilled screams from fellow Carnival goers, just barely over the chaos of a different carnival song playing at every ride and every game.

Oh, she had passed that ring toss game just a few minutes ago. She must have turned left too many times.

Circling back around, she decided to walk straight ahead, not having any sort of route or strategy in mind. She had a terrible sense of direction, and tonight was no exception. If she was being honest, she knew something like this would happen. Now, where was Reed? She scanned the crowd, looking for a head of long black hair and red shorts. Her dorm-mate had said something about a funnel cake for the both of them but that felt like ages ago. It had to have been more than a half-hour. No, it had to have been two hours ago. Something like that.

She scanned left and saw... the ring toss game? No, that’s a different one. She was pretty sure the signage was purple, and this one was red. She was pretty sure. They must have at least two. 

She stopped at an ice cream stand selling vanilla soft serve and chocolate-covered bananas. She ordered a medium cone for herself. If she was going to continue this wild goose chase, she was going to do it with some sugar and serotonin. Now, where was Reed?

She wandered towards a haunted house. The black fake stone decor and gargoyles with glowing, red LED eyes stuck out like a sore thumb among the overstimulating color and brightness of its surroundings. Cheap plastic ghosts waved in front of the windows, and the entrance of the attraction was simply a large hole, framed by a tube that turned counter-clockwise, striped black and white. It reminded Cass of a cheesy hypnotism trick; she laughed internally, thinking that if she stared too long, she would become hypnotized and start clucking like a chicken.

She looked at it for a while longer while she finished her ice cream. This was probably the only place she hadn’t looked if she remembered correctly. It would be very on-brand for Reed to hide inside a dark attraction, waiting for her to finally come along, and then jump out and scare the life out of her. 

This definitely was the only place she hadn’t looked. There was nowhere else for her to go. Really, this place wasn’t very big.

She stepped up, foot transitioning from soft grass to worn plastic step, and stared into the void in front of her. The turning platform was only visible to a certain point, especially now that the sun was almost down, before it became shrouded by shadow. She felt repulsed by the darkness, but also pulled in by it. A gentle breeze flowed out from within.

“You gonna go in, or what?”

Someone behind her prodded impatiently. It was a boy, probably two or three years younger than her.

“Yeah...” Cass replied over her shoulder, before looking back to that void that made her face feel cold.

The platform rumbled around her as she stepped in, and the chaotic sounds from outside all but disappeared once she was fully immersed inside of it. She had to take short, but quick steps to stay stable, and that darkness did not let up, even as she tip-toed deeper and deeper into it. She reached out her hands to feel in front of her for a wall or a rail or something, but only felt the cold breeze.

Finally, her foot found solid, unmoving floor. She found stable footing and turned around to see if the boy had come in after her. With eyes wide and knuckles white, she frantically scanned the entrance of the attraction and saw no one. She blinked, trying to clear her eyes, sure that there had been people behind her. There was no one coming in, no one taking tickets, no one passing by. There was only the rumble of the tunnel, still turning in front of her.

She couldn’t decide which was more terrifying: going forward into the dark, or going back out.

Instead of staying there in limbo, she decided to press forward. Maybe she would run into someone. Maybe she would find Reed, finally.

It had been so long.

She felt her way through the pitch dark, shaking hands running against a textured plastic wall. Every particularly sharp bump momentarily became a spider or a knife in her mind. She made her way slowly through the darkness until she saw the glow of an artificial orange light, flickering like candlelight ahead of her. She quickened her pace, if only to get out of the suffocating void, and then stopped when she realized there was a figure, a person holding the light source. Her heart leapt into her throat, even though she was sure the person was an employee, or even a decoration meant to look like a person.

As she got closer, almost close enough to see details, the figure moved and began rushing down a corridor to her right.

“Wait!” She called out, but her voice was so timid she was sure it was lost to their ears.

Then, she realized that she couldn’t hear the tunnel turning anymore. There was only silence now.

The orange light was once again still in the distance in front of her, and once again, the figure ran as soon as she got close to it. She held back a groan of frustration.

Taking a deep breath and stabilizing her voice, she called out, “Please! It’s way too dark in here, I can’t see where I’m going and I just want to find the way out!”

She continued feeling her way through this cold, black place. Her heart was beating in her ears now, diaphragm quivering, jaw clenched. After some time- was it five minutes? An hour?- she saw the flickering orange light again, this time far enough in the distance that it looked almost like a star in the night sky.

“Can you help me, please?” She called out to the light. Her voice echoed against the silence.

Then, the rushing of footsteps running again, just as she expected. What she didn’t expect, was that now the figure wasn’t running away from her.

It was running towards her.

Cass turned around and began to run, poorly in the dark, afraid of what pursued her but also afraid of crashing into a wall and knocking herself unconscious. Her blood felt frozen in her veins and a cold sweat blossomed across her skin. The footsteps grew louder and louder behind her, and she despaired that it was catching up to her. She would lose distance every time she came to a turn, catching herself before she slammed into a wall. 

Soon, it was right on her heels.

Its footsteps were deafening to her, but she could also hear a gentle, quick breath. She could feel its gaze on the back of her neck, a sick feeling that crept up her bones and spread across the back of her skull like fingers.

As she came to the end of a corridor, hands searching, she felt the cool metal of a door handle and wrenched it, bursting out of a back door of the attraction. It was night now, and quiet. Street lights and ambient light from the Carnival illuminated her surroundings that now seemed bright as day to her after being in the dark for so long. She turned to see if her pursuer had followed her.

It was Reed.

She held the decorative light fixture in her right hand that Cass could now see was a lantern, the electric orange candlelight still flickering. She looked... different. Her face was disapproving, eyes looking down her nose at Cass. She shook her head slowly and clucked her tongue.

“Try again,” she stated, voice low.

“Reed... Try what again? Were you hiding in there this entire time?” Cass reeled in confusion now.

“The Labyrinth. Try again.”

As Reed shut the door, Cass clamored to try to catch it before it closed, but was too late. It shut tight and was locked from the inside. 

“I was looking for you forever!” Cass screamed. She beat on the door, calling out her friend’s name, begging her to come back, but it was useless.

Maybe she could go around the front and go through the entrance again. She could find Reed in the dark and leave with her. It was worth a try.

She had to run behind several attractions before she could find a gap between them to slip through, as most of them were blocked off by temporary fencing. As she squeezed her body through the small space, she could hear Carnival music growing louder, and then people chattering and screaming and laughing. She broke through and began running back, looking at the games and rides as she passed them, trying to remember where the haunted house was. She was sure it was maybe five attractions down...

She looked to her left and saw the ring toss game. That’s funny, the ring toss game wasn’t near the haunted house. Maybe she had taken a turn without thinking, trying to get around all the other Carnival goers.

She started ambling through the crowd again, desperately searching but forgetting what exactly she was looking for. It had something to do with Reed... Where was she? She said she was getting funnel cakes hours ago. Maybe it wasn’t that long, maybe it was just twenty minutes...

The place wasn’t that big.

She sat down on a curb and looked to the small snack stand she’d settled next to. A pink cotton candy stand painted with ornate gold lettering. She took a deep breath in through the nose and smelled warm sugar.

Now, where was Reed?

May 12, 2021 16:57

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4 comments

Alexia Jimenez
18:11 May 18, 2021

wow this story is really good. I loved how time just kept passing by and her trying to remember who she was looking for. I got chills when she got into the haunted house not knowing if something bad was going to happen to her. I wonder if she ever found reed. I really liked how the attractions were moved around towards the end which led to confusion. Overall I really like this story but i do think you can add a little more of suspense. Hope to read more of your writing!

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Carmen Hart
01:52 May 19, 2021

Thank you so much! I agree that I could have worked in a little more feeling in terms of suspense.

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Shouku Nishimiya
15:27 May 20, 2021

Wow, it feels like time was just going in circles!! this is really good!! But i agree with Alexia. A little more suspense, but other than that, it was excellent!!

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Carmen Hart
21:47 May 20, 2021

Thank you! This is my first story posted here and I'm loving the constructive feedback.

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