Quinceanera mishap

It has been ten years since I had last attended a party. Even worse, ten years of not wanting to get out of the house. Now I am 25 years old. I have been traumatized, mainly scarred for life. It was ten years ago today that the accident happened. Well, you guys are probably wondering what the incident was that had traumatized me. It was back in 2021 when it was my turn to have my very own quinceanera. I have been dreaming about that day ever since I saw my sister when I was just five years old. I had woken up that morning to hear that my dress had been completely covered in bleach. My grandma was the one to choose it for me when she was sick. It was such a beautiful color. She had chosen her favorite color, light blue. I immediately started sobbing uncontrollably in the corner of my room. Since it was already the day of the party and cost a fortune. Not only was I crying but ignoring everyone else. That day was supposed to be the best day of my life. My family thought I would eventually get over the dress and decided to head over to the salon. So they had left me behind to find another dress. I only had church dresses. I had no other choice and decided to cancel my quinceanera. Of course, I had to say that until the last minute. Everyone back had already arrived at the party. My parents nor my siblings did not know how to change my mind.My grandma knew that I would say yes to her, so she drove back to the house. Sadly, she never ended up reaching the house. That is until I got a phone call from the hospital. Turn out that she had gotten a heart attack on the way home. I immediately fell to the floor and was in great shock. Once I arrived at the infirmary, I learned that she had passed away. I could not help but blame myself for her death. I was selfish about the stupid dress. If only I had not made a big deal about it and went on with the party. I would have gotten there my grandma would have also been there with me, watching me celebrate my quinceanera. She would not have any worries she would be at peace. Ever since that day, I have never wanted to go out. I felt as if I were then the same thing would happen again. To someone whom I love. Since then I have not celebrated any birthday party. But there is this tradition that we do every time in our family. Every time someone turns 25 we all throw this huge party. Similar to a quinceanera but for adults. Today, I was turning 25. In this tradition, no one is allowed to back out. Which made it even worse considering that I have not even gotten out. But I had finally thought to myself. Maybe it is time that I finally put myself out there. My grandma used to say, “Life is too short. Make the most of it. You don't know when your last day is. Live the way you want to live.”(arshastunt). I wanted to make her proud now that she is in heaven. I wanted to show her I will move on from this terrible incident. I made sure to buy a small blue dress to remember her by. On the way there I was very nervous. Way nervous than I had ever been. Even when I would present back in middle school. I always thought those days were the worst. But I was wrong this time it was for real.My hands were sweating and I kept on repeating phrases for some reason. I tried playing happy music to lighten up my mood. I ended up putting "Fki - Ylang Ylang". Not only was this song relaxing, but it cleared my mind. I no longer thought about anything from the past. All that came into my head was me swimming across Fiji water. I know it sounds a bit weird, but that’s my mind. Then that’s when the song finally ended. It just so happened that I arrived at the destination of the party. Suddenly my palms began to swear yet again. I felt like my whole body had just come out of the ocean. Where water was slowly dripping as I walked step by step. That’s when I realized no one was here. I began to wonder did I somehow put the wrong address or did I somehow take the wrong exit. As I looked around, I spotted many cars but there was no sight of actual people. Not only that but it was also very quiet. You can hear crickets besides the bushes. I decided to look around one more last time. There was this big room that was pitch black. Then I thought to myself this is the last time I’m ever going out. Well, considering I haven’t gotten out in the last 10 years. As I was waving my hands trying to find something. I finally found a switch and waved my hand up. That’s when the lights turned on the whole room. Everyone came out of their hiding spots and yelled surprise. I instantly jumped and let out a small scream. I yelled, “Oh my god you guys scared me!” Then I let out a small sigh of relief. Thanking them for being the ones who scared me instead of other strangers. Although they did scare me, it felt good to see familiar faces. Not only that but to think I have missed many parties. I missed the chance of celebrating and welcoming my loved ones. Instead, I have been staying at the house ignoring almost everyone. It felt amazing to get out of the house for once. Including dressing up, eating snacks, and having fun. Finally, all the stressing out and anxiety had left my body.