Crushed

CW: Strong language

Myles Bailey lays on a white slab in a hospital gown. A nurse approaches. “Hello Mr. Bailey, I’m Holly.”

“Hey Holly, I’m Myles,” he responds.

She slides him into a white hollow cylinder. He lays still for a second. “It may feel a little claustrophobic in there, but not to worry.” He does feel a little claustrophobic. “The sedatives should kick in shortly.” Myles smiles as Holly continues, “All of your vitals are good, so this should only take an hour or so.” He nods. “And if you need us, click that little white button on your right.” 

Myles looks at the button and gives a half hearted thumbs up. He starts to feel a little more isolated, mainly because of the hollow empty sounds surrounding him. Holly nods back and begins to close the door. He hears the cylinder door close tight around his feet, creating a vacuum seal. He peers over and sees Holly push a button. There’s a low ‘beep’, as the machinery around him comes to life in a low tinnitus ‘hum’. 

Myles lays there a moment, trapped, stuck in his own head. He drifts in and out of consciousness as the sedatives take control. His eyes close, and the world around him becomes a beautiful haze.

The haze becomes the smog of New York City.

“...Sup, fucker,” a familiar voice calls out. 

Myles hears the voice from a distance. He’s standing in lower Manhattan, not our Manhattan, but that of a dream world; far away and lost in his own sub-consciousness. He’s wearing a white suit, one that’s clearly made from hospital gown fabrics. As Myles searches for the source of the sound, a man with red hair wearing khaki pants, and a white T-shirt approaches. Myles, relieved, smiles and says, “Sup, fag.”

The man pauses. “Woahh, we've been over this.” Myles’ eyes widen. “That shit ain’t funny anymore.” 

“Ash! I’m sorry,” Myles concedes. “I just…”

Ash laughs. “I’m fucking with you.” Myles relaxes. “So what’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m just a little nervous right now.” 

“You know I’m not really here, right?” Ash responds.

“I know, not physically. But mentally and emotionally you are.”

“What about Susan or Jackie?” Ash quips.

“I love them dearly, but you’re my oldest friend,” Myles says. “I need you right now.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Ash smiles. 

“Plus I didn’t exactly tell them where I went today.”

“Sketchy. So what’s got you all hot and bothered?

“Just this scan my doctor’s got me taking.” Myles composes himself. “It’s got me thinking about life and decisions I made, or didn’t make.”

“Doctors are stupid. They purposely make you nervous and do tests you don’t need.” Ash confirms. “How do you think they stay in business?” Myles listens. “You’ll be fine. I promise.”

They walk on in silence. “I hope so, but this one feels different.”

“Different how?”

“It just feels heavier.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“I’ve never been to a doctor who doesn’t have the answers right away. They’re making me come back next week to get the results.”

“Again, doctors are stupid.” Ash grins. “Have I ever steered you wrong?” 

“No, I guess not.” Myles smiles. “Do you remember when we first met?”

“Vaguely, it was a very long time ago. What’s it been, fifteen, twenty, years?”

“No, thirty,” Myles says.

Myles is comatose in his white coffin.

 Myles and Ash continue walking up lower Manhattan. Myles points to a hotel. “It was right over there.” They see a rundown hotel. “Hasn’t aged well but that’s the place we stayed after prom. Stu and I just managed to secure some booze. We were trying to figure a way to sneak it in when you and Nicholas came strolling around the corner.”

A teenage Myles is trying to hide liquor bottles in a trench coat. His friend Stu is stuffing his crotch with a half pint bottle. ”Look believable?” Stu asks, pointing at his crotch. Myles shakes his head.

“No one’s going to believe that half pint,” Nicholas says coming around the corner. “I have a solution to our problems. I want you to meet my friend.” Ash comes strolling from behind Nicholas as if on cue. His red hair slicked back, he’s wearing ridiculous brown leather pants, with a white button up shirt. Myles and Stu hesitate. “I know he can be a bit rough around the edges, but you’ll like him. He grows on you.” Myles and Stu smile. “Plus he’s a little older. With him by our side we can confidently stroll right in. No need to stuff our pants.” Myles contemplates.

“Okay. Ash. Nice to meet you.” Myles steps forward. “I’m Myles.” 

“Hey, I’m Ash.” He reaches towards Myles and engulfs him in a hug.

Myles, in a deep slumber, wakes up and coughs a little. He looks around and sees the white dome above him. He drifts back to sleep.

Myles and Ash are now walking up Broadway past Spring Street. “That was a good time,” Myles recalls. “I was a little light headed and buzzed strolling past the guards.”

“But we made it inside,” Ash says. “Not guards, hotel workers. You know they probably didn’t care, right?” 

“Eh… everything’s scarier at eighteen.” They both nod, continuing their walk until they see the iconic purple NYU banners. “The good ol’ college days.”

Ash points to a Bank of America across from NYU. “Didn’t that used to be McDougals pub?” 

Myles looks. “That’s sad. That was our go to spot.”

“Yeah, and how many times did you puke on that fire hydrant?” Ash jests.

“More times than I would like to admit, but every time you were there, encouraging me to breathe in between each hurl.” Myles smiles and turns his head. “Hey look, my old dorm. Do you remember it?” Myles points at a tall building up the block. They start to stroll towards it.

“I specifically remember the roaches,” Ash says skeeved out.

Myles looks over at the park bench and points. “And it was right there that I ran into you the night I lost my virginity.”

Myles in his twenties comes strutting out of the NYU dorms. He spins around like a school boy and bumps into Ash. “Hey, just the person I was hoping to see.” 

“I’m on my way to McDougals, wanna come?” Ash asks.

“Can’t. Nancy’s upstairs.” Myles grins ear to ear.

“Did you?” Ash prods. Myles doesn’t even need to answer. “You dog! How do you feel?”

Myles takes a deep breath. “I feel like a man.” The two hug.

By now, they’ve moved up a little further along Broadway, nearing Union Square Park. “You were the first person I told,” Myles proclaims. “I couldn’t wait to tell you!” 

“Honored, truly I am.” Ash, dismissing the importance, points to a building that has been condemned. “Isn’t that the first strip club we went to?” 

“It sure was,” Myles says. “New York City in the early nineties. Do you remember they tried to kick us out because ‘you were no longer welcome there’?” 

Ash saddens. “Unfortunately, I do.”

Myles stirs in his slumber, his eyes flicker in and out of dreaming. 

Ash and Myles have now made their way to midtown and are strolling along the west side. “Look over there, your first big boy apartment.” Ash points to a crumbly red brick building.

“Oh yeah, I don’t miss that place or its leaky roof,” Myles recalls with a cringe. “But I do remember all the nights there when I was cramming for my bar exam.” Ash looks at him. “I’d be falling asleep, and you would just sit by my side, encouraging me to stay up later and push a little harder.”

“In truth I had nowhere else to be.” Ash laughs, “plus it put a roof over my head most nights.”

The two walk a little further away from Myles' old apartment. Myles gets excited. “Oh shit, you think The Four Faced Liar is still around?” He starts jogging up a few blocks. Ash, winded, follows. “There, there it is!” 

“This place?” Ash questions.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Myles looks at him. “This is the night my life changed for the better.” Ash tilts his head. “Yet again, thanks to you.”

Myles, now in his late twenties is inside The Four Faced Liar, settling up his tab. He looks outside and sees Ash talking to a few people congregating outside the bar, so he approaches them. As he opens the door to leave, he notices a beautiful blonde entering. Myles’ heart beats a tic. He watches her remove her jacket. The figure beneath stops his heart right then and there. She looks over at him and half smiles. Nervous and scared he slinkers outside and stands next to Ash.

“What are you looking at?” Ash asks as they huddle up next to each other in the cold.

“I just saw the most beautiful girl,” Myles declares.

“Who, where?” Ash asks.

Myles points into the bar. “There, the blonde.”

“She is something.” 

“She sure is,” Myles says in awe.

“So why are you out here with me? Go talk to her,” Ash encourages.

“I can’t.”

“I can’t,” Ash mocks him.

“I have to study, my bar is in three weeks.”

“My bar is in three weeks.”

The two go back and forth bickering at each other. Ash tries to calm him, encourage him, and convince him to approach her. After about five minutes, Myles concedes. Slowly, he enters the bar and walks towards the love of his life, Susan.

Myles lays in his white dome. For the first time he is comfortable, and has a big smile on his face.

Myles and Ash are swiftly moving across the city towards upper Manhattan. They come across a municipal building where they pause for a quick second.

“This, I remember. Your bar exam,” Ash says.

“Yep, and do you remember walking me into the building, and then waiting for me when I came out?” Myles smiles.

“Yes I do,” Ash responds.

The two walk along a little further. The beautiful bright day starts to get dim and dark, a low thunder rumbles in the distance.

“I don’t remember this spot?” Ash says.

Myles looks over at him. “You wouldn’t remember this day.” He pauses, “Unfortunately, this is the day I regrettably put our friendship on hold.”

“You know, I never quite understood why you stopped talking to me,” Ash says.

“I was dumb,” Myles responds. “It was here in Central Park that Susan and I had one of our biggest fights.” 

Myles, now in his thirties, is holding flowers. Susan, beautiful as always, strolls up next to him.

“Babe, I need to tell you something, then ask you something,” Susan says.

“Why don’t you ask me, then tell me,” Myles says with a smile.

Susan laughs. “You sure are strange, but that’s why I love you.” They kiss. Susan pauses a second then continues. “I don’t think you should see Ash anymore.” 

“What!?” Myles gets angry, and starts screaming. Susan pleads her case. Myles pleads his. Through the argument we hear a few of her choice words.

“I think he’s a bad influence on you…”

 Myles defends Ash.

“And you’re always out late with him, wasting all of our money.”

Myles defends Ash some more.

“And I’m pregnant.” 

Myles def…

“Wait what?” Myles says.

“I’m pregnant.”

“I’m gonna be…”

“... Yes. You’re gonna be a dad.”

Myles, in a romantic gesture, takes his flowers and hands them to Susan. “My Lady.” She smirks and grabs the flowers. He kisses her forehead, her nose, then finally her lips. They embrace for what seems to be an eternity. “Okay, point proven.” Susan, doe eyed, looks into Myles teary eyes. “No more Ash.”

Myles is in his white cylinder, uncomfortably tossing and turning. He can hear the loud clanking of the machine. 

“So you left me for Jackie. I kinda get it,” Ash says.

“Eh, it was the whole Jackie being born and Susan needing attention combo,” Myles confesses.

“It makes sense,” Ash confirms. “Besides, two, maybe three years later we were friends again.”

Myles laughs. “Yep, as always I needed you. See I spent those two or three years doing stupid insurance cases. ‘My neck hurts from an accident’.”

“I love those petty insurance claims,” Ash says.

“I don’t.” Myles looks at him. “Doing insurance fraud for three years crushes your soul.” 

“I’m down for crushing souls,” Ash jests.

“I’m not. But I finally got my big break. Spencer Mulani’s mob prosecution.” Myles looks at Ash. “And I fuck…”

“...ed it up. I remember. And right then and there you came...”

“...running back to you,” Myles finishes Ash’s thought. “I needed my friend, and you welcomed me back as if nothing happened.” 

“That’s what friends are for. Water under the bridge..”

“And ever since then at every court case, you met me in the parking lot and walked me to the door, pumping me up,” Myles says.

“Then, I met you at the door and walked you to your car, calming you down,” Ash confirms.

Myles is resting in his cylinder, grinning peacefully.

Myles and Ash now approach the upper east side, strolling up 1st Avenue.

“Ever since then, we’ve been thick as thieves,” Myles says.

“A tale as old as time,” Ash responds.

“Seriously though… Some days it felt like I would talk to you as soon as I woke up, on walks to work, driving in the car…”

“You don’t need to get into every detail. I know, and we’re out of time,” Ash says as he points at their destination.

Myles in his white tube stirs a little. Holly enters the room, and walks towards him.

“I guess I just wanted to say that I appreciate you always being there for me, old friend,” Myles mumbles.

“And I always will be.” Ash hugs his dear friend. “Looks like it’s time for you to wake up.”

Myles looks down at his watch. “I suppose so.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Ash says. “Next week, after you get the results, meet me here.” He points to his right. “On the corner. For ol’ times sake. I’ll be here.”

Myles nods.

He wakes up in his cylinder. The vault below his feet opens with a ‘hssssss’. Holly slides him out of the chamber. She helps him stand up. He is a little wobbly.

“You okay?” Holly asks.

“I’m fine, thanks.” He starts to collect his belongings.

“Okay. Well, Dr. Anubis should have your results next week. Make a follow up appointment on your way out and we’ll see you then.” She brushes his arm.

“I’ll do that. Thanks,” he says, and smiles at her.

ONE WEEK LATER

Dr. Anubis has just finished talking to an emotionless Myles. “Mr. Bailey, did you hear me?” Myles is ghost white. Dr. Anubis sees this and calls out for his staff. He reaches for Myles, but it's too late. Myles slips off the chair and smacks his head on the porcelain floor. He passes out. 

Myles comes storming out of the hospital and goes to the corner. Ash is nowhere to be found. He paces back and forth. “Ash?” No response. He walks to the edge of the block and back. “Ash?!” Still no response. “ASH!” Myles screams. Ash comes strolling down the street. He’s wearing his trademark khakis, and tight white shirt.

“So? How’d it go?” Ash grins.

Myles fumes. “How could you do this to me?”

Ash grins at him. Myles, through rage, clearly see’s Ash for the first time for who he truly is. He fixates on Ash’s hair. What Myles thought was ginger is actually a swirl of flames and fire. Twisted and knotted into burning embers of hate and destruction, all contained in a beautiful flow.

“How long have you been stabbing me in the back?” Myles yells.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to?” Ash mocks.

“For years and years I’ve trusted you. Spewed my soul to you. Laughed with you. Cried with you!”

“And I was always there listening, wasn’t I?” Ash defends.

“Yeah, but how long have you been plotting against me? Planting your evil seed. Infecting me with your toxins?” Ash looks at him with a smirk. “So many people told me not to trust you, that you were bad for me. And I DIDN’T LISTEN. And now it’s too late.” Myles falls to the floor. Ash walks over to him. “No, get away from me. I thought we were different, and I ignored the red flags. Your stench, your toxic behavior. And I’m the one who suffers.” Ash steps away grinning. “I’ll never get to grow old with Susan. I’ll never get to walk Jackie down the aisle.”

“This is a little extreme, don’t you think?” Ash says.

“No I don’t. You, my oldest friend, fucked me. And after this is all over you won’t care. You’ll just move on to fucking over someone else.”

“That isn’t true…”

Myles cuts him off. “I knew I shouldn't have trusted a man with so many nicknames.” Ash's hair now glows a bright orange. “Ash, Ace, Joe Camel, Kool Penguin, Marlboro Man, Loosie . . .” Ash smirks as his orange hair reaches its peak intensity, blinding Myles. 

A bright white light moves left and right across Myles’ pupils. He comes back to reality, sitting next to Dr. Anubis. The doctor is holding a cold compress on Myles’ head, and checking his pulse. “Are you okay Mr. Bailey?”

“Yeah, you just caught me off guard.” 

“Okay, let's calm you down for a few minutes. I’ll come back and we can continue talking.”

“I’m fine, can you please repeat what you were saying.”

Dr. Anubis pauses for a second, then continues. Myles, composes himself and listens. His face has lost all emotion. But he is there and present to hear Dr. Anubis’ last words. “Unfortunately, we’ve discovered you have stage four lung cancer.”