For God's Sake.

Janiece gave Claire a look. The look. The one that said, "Mayday! Mayday! I'm going down! SOS! SEND HELP!"

Claire gave her a nod from the barstool she had positioned herself in to be a fly on the wall, a wing man, or an escape plan. Whatever J needed on her blind date. She went to the ladies room. Waited for 45 seconds, then tapped the contacts button on her phone. Of course J's number was the first one to come up in her recent list. Janiece was after all her best friend. Had been since the 5th grade. Would be when Claire was too old and cenial to remember her too. But they had plenty of pictures to help them when that day came, and at 23, They had their whole lives ahead of them still.

Claire tapped the speaker button as the ringing commenced. The sound echoed off the bathroom walls. 1.2.3..

" Hello?"

"J. It's Claire. There's been a.. an… oh crap. I forgot what I was supposed to say."

"Claire? Is everything okay? My dog? Throwing up? Did she get into…"

"Yeah! That's it your dog is sick!"

Why J went with a pretend sick dog for her escape was beyond Claire. J was allergic to dogs, but Claire guessed this guy would never know J didn't really have a dog. So it didn't matter what lies J told him.

"Anyway dudes a dud. I knew it when he walked in." Claire flushed the toilet. "Let's go throw back some beers and play some darts. Meet ya outside in 3 minutes."

" Oh No! I'll be right there. Thanks." J hung up the phone.

"Sorry, that was my friend. She is puppy sitting for me tonight. Benders sick. He must've gotten into something. Poor pup. I really have to go." She started to get up from the table.

" That's awful. Here let me help…"

"No. No. I've got this. It was nice meeting you Jack."

"It's Jake."

"Jake? Oh. Well. Nice meeting you Jake." She threw on her coat.

" Maybe we could try this again? Next week? I'll call you!"

Janiece was halfway to the door. She had no intention of seeing Jack..Jake next week. Or ever. As she exited the restaurant she pulled out her cell phone, slid down through her contacts until she found Jack the blind date and promptly pushed the ignore setting.

Claire was already waiting outside the doors for her. Janiece was barely in the car before she started talking.

" Well, that was a bust. Why does your Mom insist on setting you up with balding middle aged men in Tweed jackets? Sometimes I wonder if she finds them all on some stupid date a Professor web site. Ugh! Gross."

" That was awful. How long did I last?" Janiece laid her head back on the head rest.

"14 minutes." 

" That has to be a record."

"Nope. Your longest blind date was with bachelor # 4. Frank, I think. You lasted 28 minutes. He bought you 3 Long Island Iced Tea's."

"Mmm.. I remember. Those were good iced tea's."

"Frank sucked though."

"They always do. To Groucho's than?"

Claire smiled and winked at J as she turned the blue Miata out of the Applebee's parking lot and made a left. " You know it." She said.

Groucho's was a little bar that the two had happened on one night when the club scene had become too much for them. The fog, and the lights, and the guys constantly groping them as they tried to dance or walk by had caused the girls to leave in hopes of regaining some kind of good time on a Friday night.

 When they pulled into a tiny dirt lot next to a brick building with a sign boasting 'Groucho's! Best damned drinks in town. Try our chicken strips too!', they both thought, "What the hell. I could eat."

The strips were good. The drinks were cold. The jukebox played music they could sing along too. The atmosphere was laid back and the dart boards were horsehair, not electric. So the girls decided to make Groucho's their bar. They promised each other right then and there that this was a boy free zone. They wouldn't bring boys in or take boys out of Groucho's. That way it couldn't be tainted. Boys had a way of screwing everything up. Especially a good watering hole.

7 minutes later, Claire parked the car in the dirt lot and killed the engine.

" Ah, good ole' Groucho's. Our home away from home." She opened her car door.

J did not.

"You coming in?" Claire asked looking back at her friend.

Janiece was beautiful. Her dark chocolate skin matched her eyes and her hair, as always, was perfectly braided and held up in a classy bun. Her curvaceous young body and her brilliant smile only added to her looks. Claire was baffled as to why J's mother thought she needed help finding dates. The girl was a knockout.

But tonight J looked less lively. Less vivacious. Less like J.

Claire closed her car door, turned the ignition back on, and cranked up the heat.

" Okay. Talk to me." She said to her friend.

Janiece sat there. Not looking up from her lap. Not being Janiece. Not saying a thing.

" Look, I know it was a bad blind date. They are all bad blind dates. Tell your Mom to stop already. You aren't an old hag J. 23 is not passed your prime. And men do want you."

"Not the type she wants me to want."

"No. But that's okay. It would be weird of you to be attracted to guys that reminded you of your dad. Imagine the ackwardness during sex. Oh baby. Yes Daddy?"

" You are so gross. Why do you say things like that?"

"To make you laugh. It worked. Look at you. You are the cat's pajamas. The bee's knees. The one who got away. The White Buffalo."

"White Buffalo." They both whispered together and then laughed out loud. They had gotten the quote from a John Cusack movie and it had become an ongoing joke for them. 

In the movie John Cusack used the term to describe the girl he dated when he was in highschool. To him, she was the one who got away. Claire and Janiece coined it whenever an ex of theirs was around, or whenever one of them needed cheering up.

Janiece needed some cheering up. Claire knew it. She knew it before the blind date, during the date, and she knew it now. She knew why too.

Janiece's mom was a staunch Catholic woman. To her it was imperative that her daughter marry a staunch Catholic man. One with good standings in the community and a pillar of success. And it was imperative she find herself a good Catholic man and marry him soon. Like next week.

One just like her Dad 

Only Janiece hated her Dad. She hated the Catholic Religion too with all its rules and doctrines. Claire had only went to church a handful of times in her life. And twice was with Janiece and her family. Both times Claire went, she hated it. All the sitting, and standing, and kneeling, and standing, and praying, and repeating what the priest said. Then the calling of the people to come eat Jesus' body and drink his blood. That part creeped Claire out the most.

 " You aren't getting any younger Janiece," Claire could hear Mrs. Poultor say in the back of her head, "The window of opportunity is closing fast."

She had to shake the woman's voice from her mind..

"So, are we going to go in or what? You can tell me all about Mr. Tweed. Well, what you learned in the short time you two sat there sipping on the water like it was vodka and staring at the menus. There had to be something you absolutely hated right off the bat. You can start with that."

But Janiece just sat in Claire's leather passenger seat. Head down- again. Hands folding. Lips pouting.

Claire watched her friend for a full minute before she spoke. This time there was no cheerfulness. No inside jokes. Claire chose her words very carefully. She made sure to look at her friend as she spoke.

"Janiece, you know I love you right? And you know that I know you better than anyone else. Better than your Mom or your Dad. Better than you know yourself, probably." She took in a deep breath, " and in all the time I've known you, how many boyfriends have you had?"

"Lots."

"And how many blind dates have you been on?"

"Loads."

"Yeah. And in all the years that I have known you, have you ever been truly happy? With any of the guys?"

Janiece looked up from her lap. Claire kept her Lazer vision focused on J. Nothing else.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means.. it means.." Claire looked away for a second. She looked at the red brick wall in front of them trying to decide the best way to put her next thought into words.

" Look, it's not something we've ever discussed. It is something I've noticed. Something I figured you would notice too, eventually. But, I don't think you want to notice."

"What are you talking about?" Claire turned her attention back to J, who looked almost wounded.

" When we go out, when we, ya know go dancing and what not, It's not the boys who you notice. It's not the boys who make you blush when they smile at you. It's not the boys who make your heart race and skip beats."

Janiece now looked like a confused and somewhat angry kid who just got told she was 2 years younger than she thought she was.

"Come on J! Don't look at me like that. It's true. You know it's true. I know you, and I know your moods, and your reactions, and I know when you are attracted to someone, not just going through the motions for your mom!"

Janiece turned red. Well, she turned almost a dark maroon. It could have been the lights. The reflection they made off the brick wall, but Claire knew better.

" Are you saying you think I'm.. I'm..."

"Say it." Claire dared her.

"No!"

"Why not?"

Janiece threw herself back against the seat and away from Claire's gaze. She crossed her arms over her chest and pulled her chin down.

"Because I'm not."

" Not what J? Gay? Attracted to the same sex? A lesbian?"

"Stop it! Just stop! I couldn't be gay okay! Even if...even if I did.. even if I wanted to. I couldn't."

"Yes, you can. And yes, you are." Claire put her hand on Janiece's shoulder. " It's okay. For God's sake! It's not some huge sin. If God didn't think it was okay, he wouldn't have programmed you that way."

"No. I can't be. My mom. My Dad. I couldn't do that to them."

"To hell with them! Aren't you tired of disappointing you?" Claire shouted.

" I'm sure tired of you being disappointed. Of watching you pretend. All I want is for my best friend to find someone she likes. Someone she loves. Sure I'll be super jealous, but if she treated you right, I'd get over it. Someday."

Claire smiled warmly at her friend as tears streaked down J's beautiful face.

" I just think it's time. You live on your own. You pay your own bills, and yet, you do as your mother says. Only it's not what you want. Your a grown woman J. It's time they all got over it. And if they can't accept you, fuck them. I'll always accept you."

Claire wrapped Janiece in an uncomfortable sideways hug and wouldn't let go.

" Who knows you?" She asked as she kissed the top of J's head.

" You do." Janiece sobbed.

" And who loves you the most?"

"You do." She stammered.

They sat there in the blue car, heat blasting on them, hugging it out for a good ten minutes before either girl was willing to let go of the other. Finally the embrace ended and Janiece wiped the tears from her face.

" You want to go inside and have a couple drinks now?" J hiccuped.

"Are you going to be okay?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

"Good. First round is on you than." Claire switched the heater off and killed the ignition. She opened her car door and then turned to her friend and said, " and if you find the girl of your dreams, I guess she can come to Groucho's with us."

The two girls walked into their bar. They downed some cold beers and shot some darts. Janiece thanked God for her best friend, and started checking out the few girls that were there that night. None of them caught her interest, but she was sure she would find one. Eventually.