Who to believe?

I see the a thousand twinkling lights in the sky before I hear a smack on the window, there’s blood now. “Please, Ralph!” I scream out and squeeze my eyes shut. I’m frozen in place, my fingers turning white as they hold onto the seat as if for dear life. Sweat drips down my forehead and I feel the air clogging my throat, suffocating me. I can’t open my eyes, but I can hear it; the cries and howls and the knocks on the car window.

 I hear a thud and feel the car jolt. My eyes fly open to see one on the hood of the car, staring right at me. I don’t realize when I started crying, but it flows down my face and I look to Ralph. “Please, I need to do it. Ralph, I can’t bear this!” I’m begging him now.

“Tess, listen to me. People are watching you.” He says as he presses the button on his side to lock the windows. I bet he doesn’t notice himself gulp as he looks at the outside. Ralph puts his hands on the steering wheel, he’s shaking. “You’re just seeing things, Tessa. This is just one of your episodes,” he says, gripping the wheel tighter, “Like the one you had last month. Remember that, Sweets?”

I feel my soul tremble in my body as I hear those words. “No, not this again. I can’t go without doing something, Ralph!” I’m looking into his eyes, trying to get him to understand. He needs to understand. I need to show him I’m not up for his jokes, not now.

I pull the handle. It doesn’t budge. I pull it harder, with all the strength I have. The door stays in place. I scream in rage and punch the dashboard, and then I scream some more and try the handle again. “To hell with you, Ralph!” I shout in his face and pull off the seatbelt, looking around the car for a sharp object, anything to break the windows with.

“Tess, look at me. You have to look here, please.” I hear him say, his eyes darting to the chaos outside. He’s panicking too but he doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t have the heart to help them, but I do. And I won’t stop until I’ve done everything in my power, I can’t live with the guilt of not doing so. So I look in the glove compartment, and in the ashtrays and the cup holders and through the papers in the sun visor. “Tess, I’m helping you. I’m not your enemy.” He says, and I need him to stop talking. I need him to let me think, I need him to-

“Shut up!” I cry out as I look him dead in the eye. “Shut up or I’ll knock you out before I break out of this car.”

Then I see something behind the steering wheel.

The keys.

Ralph follows my eyes. “Goddamn it, Tessa. No!” He lunges forward to pluck the keys out of the ignition, right before I can. “Tess, let’s go home. I’ll drive you home. You don’t have to think about any of this, please.” He says to me, slipping the keys into his jeans pocket, the one that’s farther away from me. He takes my hands in his, and they’re warm as usual. “There are about a dozen people who just stopped to watch you. You can calm down, you’re okay with me.” His expression looks so sincere I almost want to believe him.

“The people out there are bleeding all over your car, Ralph. They’re dying.” I say to him, as calmly as I can. He whips his head to look outside, confused.

“That innocent kid on the hood of your car,” I continue, pointing to the brown haired boy whose face is red with blood, “needs me. He needs to live, Ralph. Why don’t you get it?” My voice cracks as I speak and a tear spills out. Good. I need him to be distracted.

Ralph’s eyes suddenly turn mellow and soft. He leans over towards me and wipes it off with his thumb.  “We’ll be alright, just stop crying Sweets. The only boy here is the one watching you go all bonkers.” He laughs but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. This time I hold his hands, and he stares at me, shock evident on his face.

“I knew you’d come through darling.” He smiles as I bend over the seat to hug him. “I’m so sorry, I have no idea what makes me go all psycho like that. I’m really sorry, Ralph.” I mumble into his shoulder, hearing a hum of approval in response.

“Except that I’m not sorry.” I muse, and in a split second, I haul myself over the arm rest and into the back seat. Ralph barely twists around, still processing the turn of events when I reach forward through the space between his seat and the door to pluck the keys from his pocket.

“Tessa?” He seems baffled, looking at me as if he expected this to be a joke. “Look ahead, Dear." I say sweetly, and as he turns to face Bloody Boy again, I wrap the length of my right arm around his neck, pushing it into the headrest and slide my left hand behind his head, squeezing hard and ultimately putting him in a chokehold. He gasps for air, grabbing my arms and trying to rip them away. “Sorry, Ralph. I can’t afford to let you talk me out of this one,” I whisper into his ear, out of breath after exerting so much force on a man twice my size, “not if people’s lives are part of the equation.”     

I release my left hand to jab the key into his side, and he squeezes his eyes shut in pain, letting go of my arms to press his hand to his side now. There’s blood on his hands, but there’s more outside. I need to go. I loop my left hand back in its place and pull harder, only one of Ralph’s hands trying to resist me now. I look around outside, dozens of women rocking the car back and forth, howling for help and crying tears of blood. The children stare at me eagerly, starved and skinny, blood on their clothes as they pray for a meal and clothes to keep them from shivering.

He stops fighting, Ralph is unconscious. I let out a sigh of relief, pushing the button to unlock the doors and rush outside to help Bloody Boy first. As the door opens, I’m blinded by the stars. It’s a beautiful night, I think and then everything goes black.