Mournful Future

Alex and Sarah had been trying to enjoy what they knew would probably be their last few months together. They had been friends since first grade and together for the last two years. Alex had always known that she’d preferred girls. Sarah had tried to date a couple of boys. She liked them okay as friends but just could never get as excited about them as most of the other girls in her and Alex’s class. Alex was the same way. 

The town that they lived in, Blue Ridge, Georgia, was a small one of less than 2,000 people and it was full of bigots. As a result, Alex and Sarah kept their relationship a secret. Not being able to hug for very long or kiss in front of everyone was unbearable at times. But what they lacked in community support, they made up for in their passionate-if not desperate-love for eachother. And it somehow made their relationship even sweeter.

Today, they were lying on a patch of grass on Blue Ridge Lake on Sarah’s red-and-white gingham blanket. Gazing at eachother basking in after-glow, they needed no words. To them, this was Paradise. 

Then Sarah’s alarm rang, bursting the bubble. She needed to get back to work at her job at the Recreation Area. This was her second summer there. She had always loved the great outdoors and was going to Northland in Wisconsin in the fall to double major in Women’s Studies and Ecological Restoration. Repairing damage in nature-or being a nature repair woman, as Sarah liked to call it-was her passion.

Alex always hated it when she couldn’t be with Sarah. Yes, she knew that Sarah had a life to prepare for. She just got very anxious at the thought of it being without her. 

She was going to Blue Ridge Community College in the Fall. She had never been sure of what she wanted to do for a living or about life in general. Her mom had always complained that she was a drifter like her dad. Alex hated that! She was nothing like her dad! He was never home much and had convinced her mom that he “sold stocks on the road”. Alex knew better and resented her mom for eating it up like a blind sheep! It also made her resent Sarah’s intact and healthy family even more.

Her mom had her help out at her bank, the BB&T from seventh grade until her senior year. Although Alex hadn’t complained for her mom’s sake, organizing files and paperwork had mostly made her feel trapped. She was relieved when her mom gave her permission to end it to concentrate on graduating. She had done so with a C average and one of the lowest SAT scores in her class. Unlike Sarah, Alex had never been the school type. Her mom had tried to grill her to get a job that summer but Alex hadn’t seen the point as they had the big bundle of cash that her father had been bringing home since shortly after she was born. Her mother had given up after about the third screaming match. 

All Alex knew was that she had Jason’s party to look forward to in four days. His parents were going to be out of town so he wanted to throw the biggest pre-college bash in town. 

Alex was very excited as that was probably when she was going to see Sarah again. To Alex, partying was something to do amidst their boring town. She was glad that Sarah was as into them as she was. It one of the only times they got to see eachother now. 

Sarah loved Alex and even felt sorry for her but was secretly getting tired of her immature, clingy ways. Since they had taken things to the next level the year before, it seemed as if Alex tried to schedule her whole life around seeing her. It was exhausting at times! Alex had actually been one reason she’d jumped on this job at the Recreation and took the fullest schedule possible. Not that didn’t love every minute of being there as it was also what she had been born to do. Which she was reminded of by assisting her bosses, Allen Lam and Peggy Sharp by nailing red, white and blue ribbons on the trees for Independence Day Festival in four days.

As much as it bothered her to do so, for once, Sarah was considering bailing to put in some extra hours for Festival prep. And not even telling Alex. 

But that didn’t feel right, either. She supposed she would play it by ear. Besides, she had less than two months left in this town now so why not keep making the best of what she had now?

Four Days Later…

Alex arrived at Jason’s party first at around 6pm. It was alive and kicking. Sarah wouldn’t be able to get there until she got off from work. Normally, that made Alex anxious but, for once, she was glad. Jason Polluck-even though he didn’t know about her and Sarah-was one of the only ones who didn’t get suspicious about her never having dated guys much. Or tease her about it.  

Since Jason was busy spiking the punch and figuring out other ways to mix the drinks as usual, Alex joined the dance crowd in the corner of the living room. That was what she loved best about parties. She didn’t drink. Not because she didn’t want to but because she hated what it put her through. It made her feel more like she was drowning in her sorrows than anything else.

A love of dancing was also something she had in common with Sarah. Where was she?! Even while working, she was never this late to a party! Alex was starting to feel anxious. So she used that energy to put even more energy into her dancing not caring who noticed. She barely noticed that everyone had circled around her until they started chanting her name. Not that she cared. 

Then the room seemed to be spinning and she felt as if she was in a dream. She had to find Sarah and fast!

It wasn’t easy but she managed to push her way through a small crowd screaming for more. 

“I need to find Sarah!” she heard herself scream at some point.

Somehow, she made it out of Jason’s front door. It was already pitch black and hot outside. She barely noticed the shapes of the fireworks going off in the distance. 

She just couldn’t stop running. Even though she wasn’t drunk, she couldn’t see where she was going. She was going to run to the Lake in the dark if that was what it took to find Sarah!

A few moments later, she saw what looked like 18-wheeler lights increasingly advanced towards her. But it couldn’t seem to stop any more than she could. 

She felt a brief sharp pain before seeing a tunneling white light and feeling the most indescribable love inside and out…

A week later…

The autopsy revealed that Alex’s every bone, including the skull, had been very severely bashed in. Many of her organs, including her brain, had been torn and scattered apart. 

Alex’s funeral was a closed casket one and passionately mournful. Sarah and Alex’s mother we’re both shaking in tears. Her dad hadn’t even wanted to come, which made everyone mad and pour out even more sympathy to Alex’s mother. It was large as everyone at Jason’s party was also there.

Sarah was feeling all kinds of guilt at being so ready to let Alex go when the time came for her to go to Northland. She had never thought that Alex would just be ripped away from her and the world like that! When she still had her whole life ahead of her and a chance to actually be happy.

Sarah tried her best to draw on her family’s reassurance that Alex was in heaven and with the Lord now. But she just couldn’t bear it. She was the one who had caused Alex’s anxiety attack and had been looking for when she’d been killed! She’d been about two miles out from the party when the accident had happened. 

Everyone had told Sarah that Alex had gotten glassy-eyed, strong enough to push her way through the small crowd and had run aimlessly out the door saying that she needed to look for her. So she had run back to her car and scrambled looking for her. 

She had found the accident on Highway 76 near the Blue Ridge Lofts about ten miles away from Jason’s house. The driver of the Saia truck, Elle Frontman said that she didn’t even see Alex at first and it was too late to stop the truck when she did. She was being tried for manslaughter, which was so unfair!

They had been bagging up Alex’s body when Sarah had gotten there. Elle was shaking wide-eyed in cuffs trying to recount what happened. She was having nightmares and felt like she hadn’t slept in a year. 

She desperately wished that she could take off for Northland right after the funeral. She was even considering taking to the streets-anything to not be in Blue Ridge anymore. But it would be too dangerous and not worth the risk. And, as much as she’d envied it, she knew that Alex would want her to go on to live a happy and healthy life.