Pop goes the Cherry

Dear Diary, my one and only loyal friend.

I just wanted to say............................

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!

Today is the big day! I cant believe it. Today is finally here! I am extremely nervous but excited at the same time. I haven't stopped thinking about this day for as long as I can remember. The day I pop my cherry! or should I say WE pop our cherries!

Will it be exactly like everyone describes? will it be just like the movies? Oh I hope so. I really hope it will be just like Allie and Noah in that romantic beautiful movie The Note Book. The connection the love the magic they had between them. I can't wait to finally experience this for myself. And with my first love! Sebastian Carter. This could never get so much better than that! Never thought a hot, well built and popular guy like Sebastian would even glimpse at me. I am glad I tripped over that day and he was there to help me back onto my feet. Embarrassing.. but for him to not be exactly like his friend's who would laugh and just walk on by without a care in the world. Sebastian on the other hand offered a helping hand. With his perfect white teeth smiling, and his eyes glistening he sure is a true gentleman.

The common tip all my friends have given me is to just relax and let the magic begin! so this is what I will try and do. Just Relax!

It is now 14:24, Sebastian will be here very shortly. I haven't even picked out my outfit yet. I was having a hard time deciding whether to wear my pink skirt with the white shirt and keep the top two buttons unfastened OR my black low drop back dress. or maybe just skip the clothes and open the door in my new lingerie! lol I'm only joking about that.

I won't do that don't worry. After all i dont want to scare Sebastian off. I'm sure he is as nervous as i am. after all it isn't just my first time, this will be Sebastian's first time too. OUR first time. <3

which I'm happy to be his first as I won t have to feel a certain expectation he would want from me. I wont have "other girls" to compare to. I'm relieved about that, this makes everything a little less nerve wrecking.

I want this to be special. we will have dinner lit candle first and after dessert. I made apple crumble, Sebastian's favorite. then I will make an excuse to leave the table and will quickly get dressed into my new Victoria Secret red lingerie. which I hope he will like. then just let everything else slowly fall into place from there.

I really have to go and get ready. I will update you on every little detail, as I know I can trust you with all my secrets. Bye for now!

16:00 - Just a quick update. We have finished dinner which was lamb chops with all the trimmings, glass red wine and homemade Apple Crumble for dessert. Sebastian loved everything and near enough licked the entire plate clean!

I thought to quickly update you whilst I'm in my bedroom getting changed into my new lingerie I mentioned earlier. I hope he likes it. Wish me luck!

Bye for now X

18:01 - I'm back

Sebastian left not to long ago. He couldn't stay the night because of early rise tomorrow as he starts training at his new job. National Sports. I know he will do great there. He is an amazing soccer player. Fast on his feet. Very dedicated to his sports. If it's not soccer then he is on the ice shooting goals in Ice Hockey.

But I know you have been waiting for the big reveal... I wont keep you waiting any longer.

Sebastian is an amazing, caring, funny guy. I'm the luckiest person to be alive!

I feel bad about this but what can I say... I did not expect that at all for my /our first time. what happened to the Big O that everyone talks about? Where was the tingles... the goosebumps.. the screams and explosions!?

All I felt was ripping, his body banging against mine.. sweat dripping off him falling onto me... and all i could think about was, what to cook for tomorrow's dinner.. should I make Chicken Pasta Alfredo? or maybe will try out my grandmother's recipe Won-Ton Noodle Soup?... my brain just went on and on with the list and if that wasn't enough I started my shopping list in my mind... and remembering things I had to still do. For Example returning the top I got from Old Navey... and not to forget posting my moms birthday card... Then it FINALLY ended. Sebastian collapsed down onto my chest panting heavily.. sweat pouring off of him..

Then Sebastian asks the BIG question ... How was it for you?

of course i dont want to hurt his feelings.. so i may of told him what he would like to hear... just a tiny white lie. "Could never imagine anything as amazing as this. "

Am i a terrible person ?

maybe I should just come out and tell him the truth next time I see him? or should i let it slide?

I really don't want to hurt his feelings. what if he leaves me because of a silly lie just because I was thinking of him. I can't believe I got myself in this mess. I should of just up right and told him the truth on how my first time felt like. maybe he would of been understanding? I'm in a dilemma here what to do ????

Dont get me wrong, he did alot to try and please me. maybe there is something wrong with my body? I think I will do some research on the internet to see if they can answer any questions for me.

I will see how our next time will feel like and if no changes then maybe I possibly might have to book an appointment to see my family Doctor. if I can't find answers on the internet I'm sure my Doctor will know what's going on.

Anyways I am sore and tiered. I'm going to sign off for now. Good Night x