‘IN SICKNESS AND IN “IN EXISTENT ILL” HEALTH’!

‘IN SICKNESS AND IN “an existent” ILL HEALTH’!

Something is in the air and it’s got an annoying sound,

It’s from those helium balloons that are blowing ‘all around’,

There are 4 shiny letters and ‘with an E, a V, an L and an O,

and they’re flapping in the wind with their annoying glow; 

I know I’ll hear this noise all day and it’ll ‘drive me mad’- 

“Please somebody buy those ‘bloody things’ to make me really glad”!

But nobody came near, the wind grew stronger, ‘as if’, there was an evil curse, 

because those balloons were ‘flapping’ faster to make that sound much worse!

I was on my market stall all day and that noise didn’t ever descend, 

and I thought - ‘I can’t wait to go home and for this long day to finally end’! 

‘These letters’ now spelt ‘vo le’, which reminded me of a rodent, like a mouse, 

and then I thought ‘I’m glad ‘those things’ aren’t flapping outside my house!

Then, they disappeared but the peace had come too late, 

because I had a headache and my eyesight wasn’t great, 

but I saw the buyer walk away with those balloons tight in her hand’, 

and I thought she’ll regret her decision, that was hard to understand; 

I’m glad they’ve gone, “so good luck lady”, was all I had to say, 

“and you’ll probably be ‘sick of them’ by the end of this day”!

My working day had ended and I gratefully returned home to my peaceful life, 

and there to greet me at the gate was my adoring and excited wife;

She was smiling and was pointing high above the door- 

“It was only those ‘bloody’ balloons again to irritate me ‘more’! 

“Look what I found”, she said, as she pointed above my head, 

and it was those annoying balloons that quite confusingly read - 

E, V, L and O, but that message wasn’t immediately very clear, 

“either the wind has caused this confusion or you’ve been on the beer”!?

“What’s EVLO” I joked, “is it a new sexual manoeuvre that I really need to know”, 

“or has the wind jumbled up the letters and it doesn’t end with ‘O”!

“It’s ‘Valentine’s Day” she said, “and isn’t this a nice surprise”,

“Yes”, I begrudgingly said, but, I couldn’t believe my ‘bloody eyes’! 

              We understood each other- “which you’d hope after 35 years by each other’s side- 

‘we were a young couple when I became a groom and she became my bride”!

We were just engaged before I ‘fell ill’, and then she saw me put on lots of weight- 

“here’s  your wedding suit”, she said, “which is ‘far too’ tight, so it’s a diet for you fat-mate”!

              We’ve been through many ‘trials’ together and my brain haemorrhage was nearly ‘the end’, 

but she stayed by my side to witness and encourage that I was ‘on the mend’! 

“We adore each other strongly and will, hopefully, never be apart, 

and now she is my wife, a loving mother and the holder of my heart”!❤️ 

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              My wife sometimes did something unusually wrong, that would be unique to her, and that incident, occurrence or circumstance might be used or recalled in ‘certain’ situations to remind her of this mistake or embarrassment- “if she got a name wrong we’d normally re-Christen it with this new ‘made-up’ name, ‘for instance’, our initial hunt for a second-hand motor car, when we were very young, would lead us to many garages and on one occasion a Toyota car had the ‘T’ and the ‘o’ removed from its bonnet and she unknowingly called out, “there’s a nice ‘yota’ here”! Little unique errors like that, are often humorously recalled, and the actual item might adopt this new name? These unique errors can actually increase our adoration and possibly rekindle our youthful, innocent and sometimes ignorant ways, and we’ll sometimes use a language that only we can understand and relate with, like the word Pilates(“p’-la-tays”) is jokingly pronounced ‘pie-lates’, just to create a little smile! “My wife and I”,- ‘some people call us a terrific happy couple’, whilst others just call us a pair of ‘simple berks’!

               “In our defence we were both very young when we first met and I don’t think that we ever ‘grew-up’ properly and because of my young age, I believe that my improvement was easier, because my bones, joints and physical capabilities could easily manage the physical demands that would be required, ‘in order’, to improve my physical state and to manage the necessary physical stress that I’d be subjected to! My younger bones and flexibility could sometimes be an advantage BUT some of the older patients on this stroke ward were inspirational and were a great example to copy, whilst, some other, older men adopted a negative attitude and just mumbled “I’ve had a decent ‘innings”, on their way down to the television room BUT ‘one thing’ was mentally noted, and that was that the older patients jeered the physiotherapists and occupational therapists but they are your helpers, your guardians and your ‘ticket out of there’, and to help you return to your home, and I will always be grateful for their helpful assistance, their dedication, their guidance and their friendship, BUT, ‘at the end of the day’, it’s down to you and YOU ALONE, and I remained, perhaps ignorantly, positive despite overhearing some negative news(“and hearing from my Fiancée and mum that the surgeon remarked that, “it’s doubtful that he’ll ‘last the night”, and then after that “he can’t breathe on his own and he’ll never come-off the ventilator” and then “I’ll never be able to feed myself or eat again”! 

 I wanted to improve for my Fiancée’s sake, my sake and my families sake and it’s been a physical and mental torment that has existed since 1993 and “now, I’m not saying that the doctors were wrong about all of their prognosis, because some things they said were unfortunately true, especially with ‘not being able to walk again due to the proximity of the bleed on the brain’, that was at the base of the brain and by the spinal cord, which badly affected my sense of balance, as well as the loss of speech, the temporary paralysis down my left side, ‘as well as’ the very confusing double vision!

                I had to ‘refresh’ my brain with ‘how to talk, read and write’, but I think that I can achieve those now, although some of you might not agree, especially with the writing?!   I can sit-up by myself, transfer from my wheelchair into a standard armchair, and “importantly for my wife”- ‘wash and dry up’, and when we had our baby Son, I could regularly change nappies and become a children’s entertainer- “I was becoming useful again”!

Your/my prognosis was/is ‘a worst case scenario’ and it probably would have been ‘more accurate’ if I just sat around and didn’t make any effort to improve- ‘never give in’, whatever your age, because I saw some very elderly stroke victims and their difficult recovery was quite inspiring for the younger generation to see and emulate!

                My dedicated Fiancee was not deterred by my sight(‘dependent on the need for a wheelchair, overweight, shaky, pale and ‘lop sided’ with a little amount of hair!) and those inabilities were challenges for me to try to overcome, and for 20 years, ‘or more’, some of those were achieved and then my devotion and time went on our baby Son, who is 26 this year and our latest addition to this household (“who can sometimes demand more work than for a baby”?) is a lovely puppy dog 🐕!

               Take care all and thank you to those who read and constructively critique my stories-“much appreciated”.