Shining Lights of Love

April 7^th. It was one of my favourite days besides Christmas and New Year’s. It was this day 9 years ago that I became a girlfriend, Jeremiah’s girlfriend. We were two playful teenagers with a multitude of similarities and feisty attitudes that isolated us from the rest. He’s the only person that brought me back to reality when I began treading too dangerously, close to slipping off the edge. He’s the only person I’ve ever been with, my first everything. Many people have attacked me, attacked us for this. “How boring, you really haven’t lived”, “You’re wasting your life on someone who’s not going to be there for long”, “You’re just a pair of stupid kids, you don’t know what love is”, “Why have one when you can have them all?”. We’d been tested in every way possible, with many people trying to destroy us, trying to starve me of the one thing that replenished my soul. We’ve had many breaks over the years too, but no matter what, fate dragged us back into each other’s arms. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t have grown otherwise.

I pulled my dress over my shoulders and stared at my reflection. Dark water waves cascading from my head to the small of my back, fluffy lashes lightly coated with mascara and a nude brown on my lips. My body was wrapped in a long, orange gown that revealed the soft bronzed glow of my collar bone and shoulders. I felt giddy, like a 5-year-old, seconds from entering a toy store. I couldn’t wait.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I was led up a winding set of stairs to the rooftop, mild air marking its territory in the curls of my hair. The Spring sky was rife with stars. My grandmother stressed that each star had a story, pure and raw. She said that when the stars were visible in an array like this, our ancestors from all generations were sending us their blessings – shining their lights of wisdom, of love. It was moments like these that she treasured forever. In memory of her, I treasured them too.

I didn’t need to shift my gaze; I instantly felt his presence. Alluring and dominant, teeming with masculinity. Attraction so strong that I could feel him without his touch. I knew it was my man. Instinctively I turned around, basking in his husky scent infused with lime, and the pure excitement plastered on his chiselled face. He was covered in flair – a suit and tie that matched ocean waves, complementary to the silky orange that decorated the curves of my body. And you know what they say about opposites. He was grinning, the same infamous grin he would give me when scurrying to history class. Teeth bared, eyes glinting. I was suddenly 16 again, running alongside him under the searing sun before flopping recklessly against the weeds, watching them deposit on our clothes, not a care in the world. He was handsome then, with his charming adolescent visage and meek arrogance, but to me now? Words could not explain how beautiful he was. 5’11, a solid six pack, and a silver stud in his left ear to compliment his cold undertones. His skin was dark, rich, slightly rough around the edges, and he had a short fade that accentuated his square jaw.

      I took in both him and the cosy ambience of the scene – a candlelit oak table covered with a white tablecloth that had golden embellishments at the hem, a stream of warm lights on the floor that led up to the table and champagne glasses anxious to be filled. There was a warm mist that invaded my nostrils, lifting me to new heights – food, my second love.

      He guided me to the table and waited for me to sit before doing the same. As much as I loved pizza nights and the occasional gallivant to the grassy hills for a moonlight picnic, I longed for a night like this. Distant from the world, enclosed in our own bubble.

      “You’re so beautiful.” He’s looking me up and down with a scorching passion, it sends my heart soaring, burning me all over. How does he do that? How does he continuously spark that fire within me?

    “Thank you babe, but did you expect anything less!” I replied, flicking my mane and winking. “You look charming; will you be mad if I keep staring?”

      He smiles coyly at me, like he’s masking something. Anticipation? Nervousness? I couldn’t work it out. When I looked in his eyes, he darted them from me, as if he knew that I was searching for the answer. Because he knew that I could work out anything just by staring into his soul.

      The waiter returned with our meals, placing the plates delicately on the table. Mine graced with salmon, his with sea bass. Slow R&B hummed through the speakers as we spoke endlessly about our lives and everything that led us to this point. Memories from our youth, stories about our jobs, steamy words, and everything in between. I found myself throwing my head back with laughter. He never failed to amuse me, never failed to excite me, never failed to love me.

      After dinner he stood up suddenly, holding out his hand for me to take. As I stand the music shifts to jazz. Sultry jazz. It fills my ears and courses through my veins. Jazz music took me to my safe space, where I sat with a glass of wine, submerged in a novel, or glancing out of the windows lost in my own world. Brassy tones and subtle indulgence. He pulled me closer, his hands snaking gently around my waist, my arms wrapped around his neck. Never breaking our powerful gaze. In this moment, I felt like I wasn’t in my body. Like I was drifting light-years away, somewhere beyond galaxies. He took me there. To a place only accessible by lucid dreamers. He had the ability to make me feel like I was falling in love over and over, I couldn’t get enough of it. Here, now, as we’re one with the breeze, swaying harmoniously, I lose myself in the most elevating way.

The song begins to fade and as it does, he spins me elegantly, my dress sweeping the floor, Cinderella at the ball. As I face him, he has one knee perched on the ground, one hand holding open a black box, the other hand intertwined with mine. Inside the box, a diamond encrusted ring. Just as bright as our future. My eyes widen, suddenly frozen in time. Shock surges through me, rendering me speechless. And not just because I was surprised at how gracefully he managed to execute this manoeuvre.

      He sighs sheepishly before peering up at my face, taking in my expression of confusion.

      “Alyssa, I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. I know we’ve never really talked about marriage.” He shifts his gaze to the stars before bringing them back to earth, back to mine.

      “I love you, so much that my soul stirs when I don’t feel near to you. When I look at you, I see an independent, confident, infuriatingly sexy woman, a goddess that blesses all she touches. You never overstep or ask for anything too perplexing from anyone and you’re always the one to give every inch of your being. At the same time, you’re fiery and driven . I admire that. Just like all of the amazing qualities that you possess.” He pauses and squeezes my hand lightly. “There’s no limit to the purity of your heart and that’s one of the main reasons why I fell for you, and still continue to fall for you. When I think about all the things you’ve seen me through – debt, the loss of my mother, my phases of indecency, and all of my countless flaws that broke my spirit, I thank God every day for you, the rock he placed into my life.”

      Tears began to take over my eyes, threatening to run wild down my face. My heart was running laps, racing at an incomprehensible speed. Those were the darkest parts of his life, the dimmest parts of our relationship. Where I feared, he would succumb to the many toxins that danced in his face. This only made me love him more, him revisiting those memories. He was in his purest form; he was allowing himself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability that exposed his heart and left him bare. Vulnerability that revealed his courage. Many are afraid to go to depths like these, just a toe dipped in these waters would have them fleeing. But not Jeremiah. He stared down the face of his emotions and embraced them. Not worried about being engulfed or shattered by his ability to love.

      “I think I realised you were meant to be a big part of my life, when Mr Groves sent you out of class for accusing him of being on crack.” He chuckles, a low buzz rolling off his tongue. I smile through puffy eyes and lightly damp cheeks.

      “And I was right too, that smug bastard!” I said, my laugh broken by the lump forming to suppress my tears.

      “I look back at all the memories we’ve had, and I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone other than my lady, with her head always in the clouds. When we were younger and full of hope for the future, you always told me that you wanted to run away with a prince and get married under the sunset with sand sliding between your toes. And yes, although I thought you read too many books, I realised that no one was more deserving of that than you. I want to give you every piece of my heart, every part of my soul, and I hope you’ll do the same. While I may not be a prince, I’m devoted to helping you experience your dreams, allowing you to live a real fairy tale. So, Alyssa Amani Greene, will you start our next chapter by making me the happiest man alive and marrying me?”

The tears had won by this point, taking my mascara captive. I knew that I looked a mess, but that was the last thing on my mind. Here I was, on top of the world with a stunning man on one knee. My heart had taken flight; I could feel its wings fluttering. I was intoxicated by him, everything about him and every word that was released and now lingering with the clouds. I love you Jeremiah, more than I can even comprehend.

      “Yes! Yes, I will! I love you, so much.” I squealed as I leaped onto him knocking him flat on his back. We’re locked together, two pieces of a puzzle, a perfect match, the perfect fit. With one swift movement I’m on my feet and he slides the ring gently onto my finger, smiling wholeheartedly. I take a few seconds to take in my prize before pulling him into a kiss. This kiss opened a new realm of feeling. A deep, growling hunger for blissful satisfaction. I wouldn’t find it anywhere else. Bolts of lightning stretched through my body leaving me torched, branded, with sincere adoration for this man. He was all I ever wanted in life and I’m so glad to have found him.

As the night came to an end. I stood by the railing; eyes cast across the city lights. Hues of gold painted in the night. Jeremiah slid up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and nestled his head softly into my neck. I grin at his warm gesture, before turning my head one last time to the sky. I knew my grandmother was smiling down at me, shining her light on our love. I knew she was with me.

Thank you for your blessing, Grandma.