Text Therapy

Hi, Annalise.

Hi, Dr. Maguire.

So…

So.

How’s this week been?

LOL. Where do I begin?

You can begin wherever you feel most comfortable, Annalise. This is your session, after all.

I appreciate that, Dr. Maguire. I know the state of the world is terrible right now, but -

But that’s not what you want to talk about today, and that’s okay.

Is it? Because I feel guilty, Dr. Maguire. There’s hunger, and war, and I just -

Yes, Annalise.

I’ve just been thinking about having sex with my next-door neighbor.

I understand. Do you want to tell me more about it? About what’s been happening, and how you’ve been feeling about it?

I do. I mean, you know I love my husband, Dr. Maguire. But there’s something about Christopher. I simply can’t stop thinking about him. You must know what it’s like, Dr. Maguire. You’re a woman, after all.

Well, Annalise -

I know, I know. You can’t tell me about that. But I see how beautiful you are in your profile photo, so I know you’ve been through this before. Sometimes I wish our sessions were telehealth - like video sessions - instead of text therapy.

Is that something you want to give a try, Annalise? We wouldn’t be able to do it today; you’d have to sign some new consent forms. But we could do that, and it might be highly effective.

No, no, then I wouldn’t have the privacy I have now. My husband is always home, Dr. Maguire. I know working remotely is something he loves, but it drives me mad having him around all the time. I wouldn’t be able to do a regular telehealth appointment. He’d hear me, and oh, he’d be so angry.

Do you want to talk about that, Annalise? About how it feels when your husband is angry?

Oh, Dr. Maguire, you know. It feels terrible! I hate it. I always feel like I’ve done something wrong. It’s exactly the way I’d feel when my father was upset with me when I was small. But I suppose you’d say that’s because I went ahead and married my father.

I’d say nothing of the sort, Annalise. They’re two different men.

What they have in common, of course, is you.

I knew you’d say that. You’re so smart, Dr. Maguire. I told Christopher how smart you are.

You’ve told Christopher about me?

I have. I tell him everything, Dr. Maguire. I trust him so much.

Do you think it’s safe to be so trusting, Annalise? Should you put your trust so readily in others?

Well, I don’t know, I guess. I guess I shouldn’t. But there’s no reason not to trust Christopher. Shouldn’t I trust people until they show me that I can’t?

Should you?

You always turn the question around on me, Dr. Maguire, and I don’t like that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.

It’s perfectly okay for you to say that, Annalise. You’re allowed to say how you feel.

Not always.

What do you mean by that, Annalise?

Nothing. Nothing. Can I tell you about Christopher?

Of course, Annalise. Have things - progressed?

Yes.

I see.

Are you upset with me?

Of course not, Annalise. I’m your therapist. This is a safe space for you to talk through everything that’s going on. Tell me what’s happened.

Well, he texted me, and we went for a walk together, and - he kissed me.

I see.

Are you mad, Dr. Maguire?

Annalise, the more important question is - why are you worried that I’ll be mad?

Well, I know you’re a woman, and I know that you’re married. I've looked you up online.

Do you think that anyone who’s married would be mad at you for kissing a married man?

I guess so. I guess, maybe.

I see.

The thing is, Dr. Maguire, it's hard for me to tell if he's happily married. Christopher, I mean. I did have one of my friends show me his Facebook page, and he mostly posts pictures of his kids - nothing much at all of him and his wife. So that means something, right? But I can’t ask her to show me the page again without seeming weird.

Why can’t you look at the page yourself, Annalise? Not that i’m encouraging you to internet stalk him, that is.

LOL. Of course you wouldn’t encourage that, but it is part of life these days, you know. But I don’t have Facebook. I had to get rid of all social media three years ago.

Had to?

Yes. Have I never told you about this before?

I’m not sure. Why don’t you tell me now?

Well, there was this guy. He worked with my husband Andrew, but before we were married. Young guy - super fit. He was really into weight lifting. That's actually how I met him - I was at the gym, and he recognized me from a photo on Andrew’s desk. Came over to me and started talking. He seemed like a real nice guy at first.

At first?

Yeah. After a while, things got weird, and kind of scary.

I’m surprised you’ve never told me about this before, Annalise. Tell me more about this man. What was his name?

His name is Elliot. He was fired from his job at the gym, of course, after everything happened.

What exactly happened?

He started leaving me notes, in my locker. I’d go to the gym super early in the morning before work, and I was usually the only woman there, and eventually - well - I guess I couldn’t prove it, but -

What, Annalise? Tell me what this Elliot person would do.

He’d sneak into the women’s locker room, and he’d take pictures of me.

What kind of pictures?

…

Annalise? Are you there?

Yeah. Yeah, I am, Dr. Maguire. It’s just so embarrasing.

Tell me what he would take pictures of, Annalise.

They were of me, Dr. Maguire. Me in the shower. A few of me in the sauna. I’d sometimes sit in the sauna after going for a swim, especially during the wintertime.

So you’d be -

Naked. Yes.

How did you find out?

He used to leave them for me. He’d take Polaroids, and he’d leave them on top of my gym bag.

And how did you feel when you saw those photos, Annalise?

Violated. A little afraid. A little - well, this is even more embarrassing.

Tell me, Annalise.

Well, of course, it was terrifying, and that was the most important thing. But I also - I just hate photos of myself. I looked fat.

You have a beautiful body, Annalise. I’m sure you didn’t look fat.

…

Annalise?

Well, you don’t know that, Dr. Maguire. You’d have no way of knowing if I’m fat or not.

That’s true, Annalise. But I’ve worked with many women who struggle with body image issues. And I know you are not the best judge of your own body.

Well, that’s probably true. But how ridiculous, right? This guy Elliot was, like, stalking me, and there I was, wishing I looked hotter in the photo.

He must have found you incredibly attractive, Annalise.

I don’t know. I guess so.

What happened to him, Annalise?

He was fired.

Annalise, you know this is likely a big reason why you’ve been feeling unsafe. I know that’s something we’ve been working on, helping you to feel safer when there’s no logical reason to think you’re in danger. Things like not barricading yourself in the house. That must have been so difficult, and scary. No wonder you’ve felt unsafe.

Yes. I told Andrew what was happening, and he freaked out, and got him canned. He was fired from his job, and banned from the gym, and I don’t know what else. I work out at home now. That’s actually how I met Christopher. I would go for a run every day, and he was always on his front porch working when I’d get back to the house. He works from home.

So does your husband, yes? So how did you and Christopher start connecting?

Well, it turned out that Christopher was a marathoner. He started going for a run at around the same time as me, and we’d meet up at the park.

Does that not make you uncomfortable, Annalise? Was he following you?

What? No! I mean, I think he likes me, Dr. Maguire. I think he wanted to see me. But nothing dangerous. Not like that Elliot guy. I felt so panicky when Elliot was around, Dr. Maguire.

Do you feel panicky now, Annalise? If you do, maybe it’s worth us discussing if we should meet in person sometime.

In person? But this is text therapy. Are you even in the same state as me?

I am also in Pennsylvania, yes.

Nearby me? We’re in a suburb outside of Philly.

I believe I live about twenty minutes from you, Annalise.

…

Annalise?

Dr. Maguire, I’m trying to figure out how you know that. Did I ever share with you where I live?

Of course you did, Annalise. I have your intake paperwork right here.

Oh. Oh! Okay, that makes sense. Sorry. I got a little worried for a second.

I’m sorry for worrying you, Annalise. It wasn’t my intention.

No, it was silly of me. Really, Dr. Maguire, it’s men that scare me. And you’re a woman.

Does your husband scare you, Annalise? Are you ever afraid of him?

Afraid of Andrew? No. Why do you ask?

Well, if he were to ever find out about your feelings for Christopher, and what’s happened between you and Christopher. Wouldn’t he be very upset?

…

Annalise? Are you there?

Well, I don’t know, Dr. Maguire. I got chills when you said that. But I can’t imagine Andrew ever wanting to harm me. I actually think that’s why I married him. After everything happened with that Elliot guy, it just made me want to be with someone who was safe.

Do you feel safe now, Annalise?

Well, I do when I’m with Christopher. I feel so happy and safe when I’m with him.

Do you feel safe now, when you’re home alone with your husband?

I do. Well, Andrew’s actually not here right now, though. I know he’s usually home during our sessions, but he just got a work call so he’s gone.

So you’re home alone, Annalise?

I am. But yes, I feel safe. Well - there is one thing that’s been a little unsettling.

Tell me, Annalise.

Well, I’ve been getting these letters. I wouldn’t have even thought of them, except that you asked if I’d been feeling safe.

What do the letters say?

There were a couple of photos. Photos of me with Christopher. I thought he might have sent them at first. I haven’t shown Andrew, of course. But I wonder - maybe his wife sent them?

Maybe. So you’ve been feeling unsafe?

Not really. Oh, Dr. Maguire, hold on - there’s a knock at the door.

Stay with me, Annalise. I feel like you’re about to make a breakthrough. So you feel unsafe around men.

Well, Dr. Maguire, I’ve got to get it. Unless - why don’t you want me to get the door?

Well, I guess, Annalise - you’re alone in the house. I don’t want you to be unsafe.

Do you think I’m not safe, Dr. Maguire? I thought - we’ve been trying to work on me feeling safe. Like not feeling like I have to double-lock the doors or things like that.

Do you have them double-locked right now, Annalise?

I don’t. Are you proud of me?

Very. Annalise, I want you stay where you are. Don’t answer the door.

Why, Dr. Maguire?

Well - hold on, Annalise. I want to explore further with you the idea of us meeting in person.

Why do you need me to hold on, Dr. Maguire?

…

Is it because you have a knock at your door, too?

…

Is it because there’s a police officer at your door, Doctor? Ready to arrest you for what you’ve been doing?

…

Is it because you haven’t been talking to Annalise for months? Because you’ve been doing talk therapy with me, a different police officer, for the past twenty sessions?

…

Is it because you’re actually not a doctor at all? Because you’ve been posing as one for years to try to infiltrate Annalise Monroe’s life yet again?

…

It’s been so nice chatting with you, Elliot. We won’t talk again. Signing off.